this is so fucking funny

Hey followers check this out

me: i literally couldnt care less about what people think about me

also me: 

Under D&D rules, a dagger does 1d4 base damage. The average human has a Strength score of 10, adding no bonuses. Several of them, due to the military background of many, likely had strength or dexterity scores of 11-14. But only two or three, and quite a few would be frail with old age, sinking to 8-9 strength. All in all, we can only add a total of +1 damage per round from Brutus.

An estimate of sixty men were involved in Caesar’s actual murder. Not the wider conspiracy, but the stabbing.

Julius Caesar was a general, which is generally depicted as a 10th level fighter. Considering his above baseline constitution and dex, weakened by his probable history of malaria, epilepsy, and/or strokes (-1 dex modifier), and lack of armor at the time of the event, he would likely have something along the lines of AC 9 and 60 HP. The senators would likely hit him roughly 55% the time.

So the Roman senate had a damage-per-round of 66, more than enough to kill Caesar in one round even without factoring in surprise round advantage.

Now THESE are the kind of statistics I wanna see!

I genuinely hate whomever made this

whoever made this isnt valid

Kaddfghhjnk

oh FUCJK i just realized something

holdon just give me a fucking second

You’re not allowed to say this and you know it

stop transcending orange juice at me

I meant to type cat smirk in google images but it came out as cat smork

Smork smork

He like it

I’m crying

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

Water. Earth. Fire. Air.

thank God earth is just a made up anime thing

a request for @diaryofbroken version 2 and version 1 :)