queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man

"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!

maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about

muting my notifs for this post but i need to acknowledge this first. My favorite tags fr 🙏

Labels are incredibly valid when you are trying to personally define yourself and figure out where you belong. (Even then they are only useful to a point). Labels are not valid when you use them to figure out where others belong and exclude them.

Call yourself whatever you want. You just don’t get to decide who I am.

QUEENSRŸCHE (1982 - present) fan-mag segment from METAL HAMMER, March 1991.

My boys… I loved this band so so much.

QUEENSRŸCHE (1982 - present) fan-mag segment from METAL HAMMER, March 1991.

Since the Paralympics are happening and I’m seeing all sorts of people saying “See? This person doesn’t let their disability stop them!”

I would like you to remember that Paralympions are OLYMPIC LEVEL ATHLETES.

How would it feel if I compared your output to that of a literal olympic athlete and used that to justify not helping you or giving you what you need?

Oh, well Michael Phelps and Simone Biles can do it - why can’t you?

Thats how you sound.

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

It Got Better

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

I’ve been in this district for 15 years. I’ve lost 10 kids now. Four whom I knew. Six in my building — I knew their names but not their faces.

This is nothing. Nothing. Other teachers bury kids all the time. And I didn’t know this last one. Number 10. Tomorrow we meet in the morning and decide how to go about our day, our week, our lives without # 10. How to teach with an empty chair. How to help kids sick with grief and regret. How to imagine that we did everything we could.

This Langston Hughes poem isn’t 100% applicable, but it’s been in my head all night.

From “The Kids Who Die” by Langston Hughes

Listen, kids who die—

Maybe, now, there will be no monument for you

Except in our hearts

[…]

But the day will come—

You are sure yourselves that it is coming—

When the marching feet of the masses

Will raise for you a living monument of love,

And joy, and laughter,

And black hands and white hands clasped as one,

And a song that reaches the sky—

The song of the life triumphant

Through the kids who die.

# 11 last week.

Do we count him? Do I count the other two I knew who died after graduation?

He counts.

He was mine for a year and he was a hard kid. He was prickly and pushed me and everyone else away. Dropped out to “homeschool” during Covid and never came back.

I have his niece now and I was pretty close with his sister.

I think that when they are alive, we can still walk around with hope that someone somewhere was able to do what I couldn’t and reach this kid. Even if the “kid” is 30 at this point. Maybe I failed but someone else won’t.

I remember crying when M died and telling the grief counselor that her life was so hard. If she lived another 40-50-60 years, she could say bad things had happened to her as a kid but then she went on and had a fabulous life. When you get 19 years and they are filled with pain and suffering, that’s hard to swallow.

I hope this prickly kid, kid #11 for me, had at least some fabulous years out of his 21.

Out of the suicides, all but one used a gun.

Lock up your guns.

12 had appendicitis and wouldn’t treat it. Graduate from a while back. It was a death of poverty and ignorance.

He never had a chance.

13 and 14 were within a few days.

Both had criminal records already at ages like 20 and 22. One was the only kid I was absolutely scared of and he’d served time for drug offenses I’d heard. I actually said “if I get shot at school, look into this kid.” He had a car accident. But he never actually hurt anyone that I was aware of.

The other was a goofball but also served time for a sexual offense against a minor. It’s unforgivable, but I also remember him as a freakin 14 year old goofball who tried to work in school and his brain wouldn’t let him. I don’t know how he died.

Working with this population is hard. When something bad goes down, I remember the 14 and 15 year olds they were and wish I’d done more to stop the trainwreck we all some coming.

That’s 4 young men in their 20s this year.

In a town this size? I wish I could go back and be what they needed.

The girl . . . his victim. . . Maybe she wouldn’t have had to suffer if I’d been able to reach this kid more.

I’m editing to add that I want to be better for these guys, but I also want to be better for the people in their lives that will suffer their anger if we don’t help.

Last week, it was a middle schooler. In my children’s grade. I probably sat by his mom probably at painful musical performances. Maybe we brought treats to the same parties.

My kids knew him but weren’t friends.

Today is my #15 - the first to die by violence that wasn’t self-inflicted.

If it’s who I think it is, she was kick ass. In the middle of 4th hour once, she got tired of this kid saying mean things to her. We are all sitting around, on the floor, and bully kid must had whispered one too many things to her. And this girl, who never said a word in class, just went for the mean girl. My coteacher was a former bouncer and picked one up (I forget which one) and removed her.

She had pink dyed hair tips and enormous fake eyelashes, and she didn’t deserve to die like this.

No men would ever find it…

You know what?

I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.

I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)

I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.

I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.

I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.

I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.

I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.

I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.

I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.

@ parents who dont let their kids dye their hair: why r u so afraid of ur kid looking cool

Alternatively: why do you think you have the right to control another person’s body?

Hair dye is a great litmus test for parental control, because none of the usual arguments against youth autonomy apply to it, so the only rationale for forbidding it is control for its own sake.

“What if they regret it when they’re grown up?” Irrelevant, it will have washed out/grown out by then.

“What if they regret it between now and when it washes out/ grows out?” Then they will gain valuable experience about decision making and potential for regret, which will be useful to them throughout their life.

“They can’t get a job.” Irrelevant!

“People will judge them.” They’re a kid, people will judge them regardless of how they look.

“People will judge me.” Okay, you admit the truth then, this is about you.

The last one. Trying to realize that’s my problem and not my child’s has been the hard work of parenting.

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.

I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi

do you have any idea how refreshing it is to see a correction/suggestion to this post that actually understands the assignment

I could deal with a spiritual tamagotchi.

Just saw this movie and I may not recover.

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck