“I’m torn between looking like a snack or eating one...”
“What state are you living in?”
“Constant anxiety.”
“No. I meant like in the U.S.”
“Oh...Florida.”
“All these ghosts and I still can’t find a boo...”
“What is wrong with you?”
“You know, I get asked that question a lot..”
“You really like to test my Hippocratic Oath...”
“It’s so nice to be wanted.”
“You’re wanted dead or alive...”
“Still...”
“I just thought of something amazing!”
“What?”
“I’m going to read a book and listen to a different audiobook at the same time!”
“That isn’t going to work...”
“I’m gonna make it work!!”
“Are you seriously afraid of being in the car with me behind the wheel?”
“I’m not as afraid for myself as I am for the pedestrians...”
“For the last time, we are not a couple!”
“Maybe not in that way, but I still consider you both to be a couple of idiots..”
“Violence isn’t the answer.”
“Yeah, but it’s an option...”
“Honey, come look at this!”
“Would you please stop referring to me as ‘honey’”
“Why?”
“Because honey is basically bee vomit and it’s not very romantic to call your significant other ‘bee barf...’ ”
“Hey! I exercise! sometimes I run”
“The only thing you run is your mouth...”
“He’s perfectly sane.”
“No offense, but I don’t really trust your definition of sane...”
*Sneezes*
“Bless you.”
“Speaking of blessings, how are you doing today?”
“You’re so dramatic.”
“Just leave me here to die...”
“Collapse and perish on your own time.”
“It’s not cheating if you’re cheating cheaters.”
“We have a love hate relationship.”
“Really? You two?”
“Yeah, we love hating each other...”
“Oh my gosh I just got to pet a cat!”
“Nice.”
“Also I’m allergic to cats soooo..”
“...”
“Where’s Nicholas?”
“You know that’s not actually Nick’s name, right?”
“Then why do you guys call him Nick?”
“Because he’s got quick hands at he’ll nick whatever you got on you within 4 seconds of meeting you.”