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Dezi Desire

@dezi-desire / dezi-desire.tumblr.com

Performer / Artist / Parent šŸ’š & šŸ’› obsessed
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10 years ago when my kid Helena was 6, I posted on here some pictures of a cosplay we did together of Delirium & Death because they had the little endless storybooks and wanted to dress up as Delirium to go to a con with me.

@neil-gaiman saw it and shared that post then messaged me to say he'd be in town for a book signing and would love to meet Helena. Helena wrote a book of short stories and gave it to him, he read it in front of them and told Helena they were a good writer.

Helena didn't know then that they were named after a Neil Gaiman story and would occasionally, much to my amusement ask "when will we see your writer friend Neil again?".

4 years later I finally showed them MirrorMask which luckily they clearly enjoyed!

Another 6 years after that I finally got my half sleeve finished (by Jordyn Smithson) as tribute to my love for Helena and the film.

Helena has started being very excited about writing this year and their teachers rave about their work. One teacher said a story of theirs seemed like something out of Sandman which Helena still hasn't read the official grown up version of yet, but they were very excited for the comparison and told their teacher this history about their name.

#neil gaiman#tattoo#half sleeve#mirrormask#parenting#dave mckean
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I finally decided to log back in after I stubbornly left after the announcement of the NSFW ban in early 2018. Excited to start sharing my stuff here again, I may post a ton of older stuff too seeing as I have almost 7 years worth of stuff I haven't shared here!

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Physical abuse is an entity that is obvious to look at, point at, to understand. You can look at your trauma and triggers with an obvious answer to why they exist.

Emotional abuse isn't like that, it's convoluted and sneaky. Physical abuse is the murderer that looks you in the eyes. Emotional abuse is the assassin that sneaks in and makes you hate yourself instead of them and will shape the way you live your life without being able to understand why for a long time and even upon becoming aware is hard to solidify for others to understand.

Please know that just because some forms of weakness manifest themselves as aggression and manipulation, doesn't mean they're strong and you're weak. If you're still here you have better coping skills than the people who have hurt you do. There is a lot more weakness in a punch and in a lie than there is in silence and acquiescence. You are stronger than your abusers, even when you're breaking down.

#abuse#gaslighting#pep talk#emotional abuse#physical abuse#ptsd