me trying to organize my life

Some of my favourite moments from the day I spent at the library playing Snape for their Harry Potter event

•”The real Snape is taller than you!”

“Real Snape? Oh, you mean the muggle who played me in that film? His name was Alan. My name is not Alan, and I am sadly not 6’1”. Ten points from Gryffindor.”

•*to a little girl dressed as Hedwig complete with mask* “You’re that Potter brat’s owl, arent you? Hedwig, correct?”

“Yeah! You’re so mean to Harry! *pretends to peck at me my god she was adorable*

“See, I’d put you in detention for that, but regrettably you can’t put owls in detention. So I’ll put your mother in detention instead for raising such a disrespectful child.” *the mother cracked up at this*

•”Are you Professor Snape?”

“*long sigh* Regrettably.”

•I had a belt of potions bottles and a group of kids asked me what potions I had, so I actually gave an impromptu potions lesson. Some of the highlights included threatening to use Skele-Gro on a boy dressed as Harry who wouldn’t stop interrupting, and loudly complaining to their parents that I wouldn’t have had to waste time reteaching this lesson if their kids had paid attention the first time.

•Word got out that I actually had the dark mark on my arm so kids kept coming up to ask to see it. I made a big show of rolling my eyes and threatening them and then finally rolling up sleeve while flexing the tendons in my wrist to make the snake move. Made several kids scream. It was hilarious

•There were a couple teenagers in a group with a Luna and her friend dressed as her rabbit patronus. I had a lot of fun with them giving her a hard time:

-“Lovegood. I know that name. Why do I—ah, yes, your father.”

“He writes for the Quibbler!”

“Indeed he does. Penned an article claiming Hogwarts had a vampire teaching there. Can’t imagine to whom he was referring.” *cue biggest laugh of the evening*

-“Lovegood, if you melt on more pewter cauldron—“

“They had dark magic in them! All pewter cauldrons do!” (She was really good)

“…you’re telling me every pewter cauldron was made by a dark wizard? He must have been extraordinarily busy” *dry tone*

“Yes, and it explains why you’re the way you are. Spent too much time with pewter cauldrons”

“…why am I still talking to you, Lovegood?”

•”Why arent you at Hogwarts?”

“Have you been outside, child? It’s summer.”

•*parents who wanted photos* “Can we get our picture/their picture with you?”

“…*sigh* Fine. *dramatic eye roll* You do know I’m the villain for like six and three-fourths of seven books, right?” (They found this hilarious)

•The classic, “I love your costume/great costume!” comments followed up with “…What costume?”

•There was a sorting station I helped back up for a bit and I had way too much fun loudly groaning and complaining when kids were put into Gryffindor.

•One little girl was put into Slytherin so I introduced myself to her and her dad and was all “You’d better make me proud. Although honestly after 14 years my expectations aren’t very high so that should be relatively easy.” Went over her head but the dad lost it

•*two rowdy little boys nearly putting each other’s eyes out with fake wands and in general causing dangerous commotion* “No duelling in the halls. Twenty points each from both your houses, and a week’s detentions.” (They straightened up immediately. Was proud.)

•There was a station where kids could make Pygmy puffs out of cotton balls and glue and one kid made an all black one and proudly presented it to me with “I tried to make it look grumpy”

That is spot on and so wonderful! Share you Snapeing secrets…

A wholesome post.

meirl

Known as Petunia cultivars, Night Sky Petunias are a deep purple flower that’s characterized by the unique patterns on their petals. Much like their name suggests, these mesmerizing plants bloom to reveal a stunning plethora of white stars resembling distant clusters of galaxies. Their otherworldly patterns are the result of a variance between night and day temperatures, so if you’re growing your own then you should keep them warm in the day (around 100° F) and cool at night (about 50°F) in order to yield the most spectacular results. (Source)

Here is my first post on them, @sixpenceee

the 3 main characters

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

“Well she didn’t exactly say ‘no’..”

“Yea, but did you see what she was wearing?”

“Boys will be boys!”

“She should know better than to drink at a party…”

Cannot not reblog.

“She should have tried to enjoy–”

“She’s just saying something now for atten-“

boy am i glad this has so many notes

“But he’s a dude. That’s not ra-”

  “He should’ve enjoyed it.”

“She must’ve lead him on.”

“But she orgasmed. That means she liked it - “

“She’s slept with so many people! She’s a slut-“

“Get over it, at least you’re still a virgin”

“Women can’t rape because…”

“Be grateful it wasn’t a man!”

“I’m sorry she hurt you but don’t call what happened to you rape, it’s an insult to the REAL victims…”

“You weren’t raped, you’re just lesbophobic.”

“She shouldn’t have posted provocative photos!”

“She shouldn’t have been dressed like that … she was asking for it!”

“It’s the woman’s responsibility to not put herself in dangerous situations, she should have been more aware.”

reblogging because it’s gotten even better since last time

I love this post!

“Well he paid for dinner, she kind of owed him.”

“She’s his wife, it’s her job to please him.”

“Oral isn’t rape.”

“Well he wasn’t armed, she could have walked away.”

“Guys can’t be raped, they love sex!”

“She didn’t fight back; it wasn’t rape.”

“When you’re married it’s not rape”

“Gay and lesbians are the real predators here”

“While she was raped, she still shouldn’t get an abortion. Think about the child’s future!”

“Rape is kinda like the weather. If it’s inevitable, you should relax and enjoy it”

“Even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape it is something that God intended to happen”

The last two were said by two actual American politicians. RAPE IS RAPE. WHEN WILL PEOPLE FINALLY REALIZE THIS??!!

NO MORE EXCUSES AND NO MORE COMPASSION FOR RAPISTS. LISTEN TO VICTIMS! NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE…LISTEN TO THEM!

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.

But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.

How could you forget this one though

I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.

Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”

ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!

I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.

2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple

I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor

He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god

It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.

An older project, but he also did this:

(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuck 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

SHIT WHAT

Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.

I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.

This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. 

Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.

LIL BABBY

U CANT SCARE THE OCEAN

GO LAY DOWN

IT LOOKS LIKE TOOTHLESS

I like to believe that all the dragons in the world were magically cursed and turned into cats. But cats have never forgotten where they come from, hence the attitude.

I nearly didn’t reblog this but the above comment makes more sense than anything I’ve ever heard.

…that’s…that’s actually a story my mom used to tell me when I was little? That a dragon showed up at someone’s cottage so they gave it milk. And the dragon enjoyed the milk, so it kept coming back and got smaller and softer and purry-er until eventually it wasn’t a dragon anymore, it was a cat, and that’s where cats came from and why we keep giving them milk.

She might have gotten the story from Ursula K. Le Guin, or I have confused it with a different dragon story.

@ladydragon76

Love it!

@torashinagama

Came for the kitten, stayed for the origin story head-canons.  Of course cats used to be dragons.  Of f’ing course.

is this what growing up is like

me at 14: wow, protagonists in media my age! how relateable!

me at 28: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHILD SOLDIERS? WHERE ARE ALL THE ADULTS? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN AND WHY ARE THEY NOT BEING PROSECUTED BY LAW WITHIN THESE FICTIONAL UNIVERSES

In the same vein:

Me at 14: oh protagonists that are 17-20-ish, they’re basically adults, right?

Me at 28: Oh my Gods you’re babies who left you in charge?!

Ariel: Daddy, I love him! Me at 14: Yeah, girl, you tell him! Me at 30:

Anime Protags: I shall quit school at 16 years old to become the world tofu carving champion!

Me at 16: Yes! This is what life is about! Chase your dreams!

Me at 35: Dude is there a future in the Tofu carving industry? What is your fallback plan? Get your diploma first, you are 12 months from your final exam why are you quitting school?!

Getting older is realizing you passed the cut off for being “the chosen one” in most stories unless it’s lord of the rings and your adventure won’t start til later in life

I could watch his hands do that forever

Me too, @pedeka

agreed

An interesting thing about this scene, which I always like to point out, is that Heimdall was straight up ready to murder Loki, his… um, Prince, without any real reason to do so.  He was clearly intending to literally take Loki’s head off, simply because Loki was in actuality upholding Odin’s last edict that Thor be banished to Midgard.  When you actually think about that, that Heimdall was going to kill Loki, and would have, if Loki had frozen him with the Casket, simply because Loki refused to undo Odin’s own decision regarding Thor, then it really throws into a harsh light just how LITTLE Loki was respected, really how dismissively they treated him in Asgard, despite him being their prince and next in line to assume the throne after Thor.  It actually casts Heimdall in an almost treacherous light.  Of course, the film doesn’t frame it that way.  They want you to think Loki is the bad guy here.  But Heimdall tried to kill him, just because he wanted Thor there to hold the throne, not Loki.

Think about that…

Oh hell, now I’ll never be able to watch this scene without thinking about this excellent observation. And now, welcome to the Hour of Tears, wherein we all sob for Loki because DAMN did he get the short end of the fucking staff– pun not intended.

Yeah, and clearly Loki knew Heimdall would react that way too, since he was ready with the casket.  You can imagine all kinds of head canons about why Loki would mistrust Heimdall so much that he knew Heimdall would try to kill him simply for refusing to let Thor come back to Asgard.  You see little hints about the kind of treatment Loki received prior to his mental break throughout the film.  With Heimdall in the beginning, when Loki is trying to persuade him to let them pass, and Heimdall just cuts him off (again, this is his prince, and he’s treating him like he’s of lesser social status), and then Thor interrupting Loki, basically stepping all over him and Volstagg making a flagrant joke at his expense.  All this in the space of about 30 seconds.  That’s just the beginning of the film.  And then you get the Warriors 3 all speculating with absolute certainty that it was Loki’s doing that Thor got banished, when in truth Loki actually had nothing to do with it, and never intended it to happen, but they just automatically assume he did.  It goes on and on.  Loki actually gets crapped on by just about everyone in this film, and then they act all shocked when he loses his shit finally.  

I know. It’s literally a movie where the villain is put in the car and driven to the edge by every other character in the film against his will and then thrown over the end and told he jumped of his own volition. Sometimes it really makes me feel sick. Because that’s so REALISTIC. So many people are aided by others to choose a particular path, using the very same avenues as used in Thor with Loki: taunted ignored run over discounted misfit quiet clever

It’s painful and also so breathtakingly beautiful because of how relatable it is to us, even if it takes place in another universe on another planet where things are very different (yet somehow the same) when compared to earth’s standards and customs. I marvel at that brilliant writing and acting, even if it was 85% unintended.

Completely.  And those are the things that make this film so good.  It seriously doesn’t get even a fraction of the credit it actually deserves.  All of those things you listed there are present, both explicitly and with subtlety throughout.  It’s an extremely relatable human drama, not just a super hero smash and bash fest, like a lot of Marvel’s films actually are.  There’s real, human emotions and real, human experiences, and the “villain” isn’t just a villain, he’s a troubled youth, bent and eventually broken onto the path that leads to his fall, very much steered towards that path by others actions, whether those actions were intentional or not.  It’s Thor’s selfishness and carelessness, and Odin’s secrecy and aloofness, and Heimdall’s and Sif’s and the Warriors 3′s disrespect that all contribute to Loki’s downfall.  In a way, they all play the part of a villain, in their own, even unintended ways.  It’s pure tragedy.  Very much above the level of any, basic super hero film.  

Yes, all of that! No one person is specifically the villain –despite Loki being put in that slot– They’re all just “human” (in the loosest form of the word) trying to do what they think is best, and making mistakes and misjudgements and erring. I just love that first movie so much, honestly it’s so much more amazing than it’s given credit for. 

This! All of this! Reblogging for the beautiful comments

Oh no! I had never thought about this! Thanks for the discussion everyone!

Correct me if I’m mistaken, but wasn’t there a scene in this movie when Loki (as a legally ruling king) actually asks Heimdall to obey his command? The fact that he felt the need to confirm Heimdall’s loyalty is heartbreaking, because it shows how unsure of his people’s loyalty Loki was. Later Loki even stated his next move is to ’repair the damage that my brother has done’. Earlier, when Thor’s happy bunch of minions asked Loki to end Thor’s banishment, Loki said that his first command cannot be to undo the Allfather’s last (isn’t that logical?) and that because of approaching war with Jotuns (a war caused by Thor and his friends’ stupidity, arrogance and recklessness) all of them ’must stand together for the good of Asgard’. He is fucking reminding them of their most important job - protecting their realm! And what did the Warriors do? They ignored it all, because to them the only right decision would be to bring Thor back, because they couldn’t accept Loki as a King. They were unable to put even a little trust in Loki all because of a Joutn’s words. They didn’t even try to confirm the truth of this accusation - they almost immediatelly came to conlusion that it must be true.

NO ONE was there by Loki’s side when he needed them most, so I’m not suprised that Loki decided to take matters into his own hands and deal with incoming threat as he deemed apropriate.

@icyxmischief

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Hide Them a novel by Rubeus Hagrid

Note From The Author: I shouldn’t have told you that…

showing up late to a meeting with an iced drink is a power move. like with hot drinks the cup is opaque and people cant tell the temperature so they dont know how long ago you got it. maybe its hours old. maybe you just got caught in traffic. who can say. but iced drinks. its clear. they can see the ice. they can see if its still frozen. they look you in the eye and they know you were standing in line fifteen minutes ago and made the conscious, deliberate decision to get a mocha frap instead of being on time. and then you made ANOTHER conscious, deliberate decision to bring it into the meeting with you, informing everyone in attendance that on your list of priorities, each and every one of them ranks firmly below one (1) mocha frappuchino.

This is so powerful. I’m blown away.

Dumbledore, died at age 115

Horcruxes made: 0

Voldemort, died at age 71

Horcruxes made: 7

Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.

this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am

He tried to use an advanced death magic spell to kill a baby. He literally doesn’t know how to do anything without magic. Just drop it out a window my dude, babies are so delicate

Aaand that was Ron

To be fair, magical babies might not die from being dropped out of a window, as they have wild magic which can be triggered when they feel strong emotions (like fear) or possibly as a defense mechanism when put in danger (I don’t remember if this was explicitly said in the books or if it’s something I thought was implied). In fact, didn’t Neville survive being thrown out of a window as a child? His great uncle or some obscure relative did that to him to test if he was magical, I think? And that’s how his family found out he wasn’t a squib.

There’s Hermione again

…I almost killed myself

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

The milkshake saved my life

I hope you all can read this and remember to be kind

The smallest of gestures can save a life. My Mum answered her phone when I called and I am alive today because of that.

I’m glad you’re here.

It’s a phone call, a milkshake, a friend.

I feel like I shouldn’t keep reblogging this but when I do more people see what kindness can do…. I don’t know. Love everyone as yourself.

Nah, keep rebloging it. It gives hope.

walked sobbing around a city once wearing a summer dress in mid-september thunder and rain. basically dragged myself into LUSH as the smell of the store always made me smile. the shop was empty and dead due to the weather, just this blonde short woman behind the counter who smiled at me. i stared at her feet and asked ‘do you have anything for people who are scared a lot?’ (i was so out of it i had no clue). she showed me two bath bombs, one pink and one blue, and said both were good - i chose the pink, paid for it and left. i then sat at a bus stop clutching the LUSH bag in one arm and my prescription meds in the other - i’d lied and ordered a refill so i could just drift away with sleeping pills. when the bus arrived and i was out of the rain, i decided to have another look at my bath bomb, smell it and what not. opened my bag and saw she’d put the blue one in there for me as well and written on the receipt ‘feel better soon :) hope you like x’. 

no one had ever been so selflessly kind to me before, i didn’t know what to do with it except hang around long enough to use the other bath bomb. 

Actually I’m going to reblog this again because of the truth of the inverse: think of any time you have been casually cruel or petty to someone for humor or because you weren’t in a great mood. 

The power of small gestures goes both ways.

While I worked at a gas station, A girl in her teens came in shortly before closing time. She was sobbing heavily and payed for her beer. As she wanted to leave, I walked up to her with one of those overpriced chocolate bars telling her to stay safe. The smile she gave me was worth everything.

After hearing that story of the guy who killed himself, and his suicide note said if *one* person smiled at him he would turn around and walk back home instead of jumping off that bridge, I make an effort to smile at as many people as possible. Hell, if I was having a shitty day and some random person smiled at me it would pick my mood up so much.

“Do I look like I eat bugs?!”

I love this frog so much I drew a comic of it.

Everyone in Infinity Wars gonna be complaining about how hard these last few years have been for them until Thor rolls up with no hair, no hammer, and one eye. 

#“also my dad died”

Don’t forget “my planet had to be destroyed to keep my sister from killing like the whole universe so now me and all my people are refugees. But hey, Loki’s back, that’s good news!”

Peter(raises his hand in the back): “…My homecoming date‘s dad turned out to be my arch nemesis and a building fell on me!“

Thor (smiles and gives a thumbs-up): “Good for you! (aside, to Tony)…Who is that person? Do we know him or did he just show up?”

T’Challa: My dad died, too.

Thor: I apologize for your loss, I know how it feels 

Thor: (To Steve) Who is that handsome man dressed like a kitten?

Starlord: My dad turned out to be this giant, planet eating god and tried to kill me so I had to kill him.

Thor: These things happen sometimes.

Thor: (to Banner) Are we just picking up strangers with sad family stories or…?

Ha ha seriously tho.

I needed to hear this right now. <3

My new favorite post.

Dumbledore, died at age 115

Horcruxes made: 0

Voldemort, died at age 71

Horcruxes made: 7

Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.

this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am

He tried to use an advanced death magic spell to kill a baby. He literally doesn’t know how to do anything without magic. Just drop it out a window my dude, babies are so delicate

Aaand that was Ron

To be fair, magical babies might not die from being dropped out of a window, as they have wild magic which can be triggered when they feel strong emotions (like fear) or possibly as a defense mechanism when put in danger (I don’t remember if this was explicitly said in the books or if it’s something I thought was implied). In fact, didn’t Neville survive being thrown out of a window as a child? His great uncle or some obscure relative did that to him to test if he was magical, I think? And that’s how his family found out he wasn’t a squib.

There’s Hermione again

Gotta love Brian’s face