Ich wollte kalt sein
Und jetzt bin ich es
Ich wollte allein sein
Und jetzt bin ich es
Ich wollte nie wieder weinen
Und jetzt kann ich es nicht
Ich wollte funktionieren
Und jetzt tu ich es
Ich wollte sterben
Und jetzt bin ich tot
seaptsd-moved
Someone: don’t you miss being younger and having no worries and responsibilities :’)
Me, lugging my childhood trauma behind me in a garbage bag: Can’t relate
“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself did I know who I really was.”
— Sade Andria Zabala
I'm fine, I just have a gaping black hole in my chest that cannot be filled. But other than that,
“I figured… there was no point. People expected the worst so I gave them the worst. I had no reason to care about my situation, about how people perceived me or about wanting to improve mentally or socially. I had no reason to care about anything. It was just pointless. I accepted my life as it was because it honestly never occurred to me that there was a possibility of it being any better.”
— Afterimage, Sonny & Ais (via 440a)
