the grinch after I make him cum 8 times

reblog this you cowards

Not to critique evolution, but I would think orange and black stripes wouldn’t be as good for camouflage in a forest as, say, green and black would.

It turns out a lot of animals can’t see the difference between orange and green!  Elephants, for instance, have dichromatic vision (two types of cones, rather than three like most humans.) 

Check out this diagram from ResearchGate.  It deals with the color vision of horses, who are also generally dichromatic.  (I think, though I’m not sure, that zebras would have the same color vision as horses.)  See how orange and green look to them?

Not to critique evolution but I think prey animals should be better at telling when their predator is dressed like a traffic cone.

It doesn’t matter what zebras see, because tigers are not native to Africa and do not naturally hunt zebra.  Tigers are Asian and mostly hunt animals like deer, elk, and buffalo.  These aren’t animals with great color vision.  They don’t need to have it because they don’t eat fruit and so don’t need to know when the berry is ripe vs when it’s not.  Good color vision is too expensive to have if you don’t need it.  Deer put their vision stats in a wide field of vision that is sensitive to motion, low light capabilities, and possibly seeing UV light.  They don’t have great color and lack a lot of acuity, but have a great sense of smell and good hearing.  That’s way more useful if you’re prey.  Deer see well in the blue end of the color spectrum and less well in the red.  This makes sense because deer are most active in the dawn and dusk periods, when there is more blue in the light.  Tigers are taking advantage of deer eyesight by being orange.

We see tigers are being obviously colored because tigers are fruit colored to our tree ape brains.

I don’t know what the best part of this is: implying that deer chose their attributes on a character sheet, or the fact that we get to see tiger colors because they look like a snack.

Ok but like, I think you underestimate just how well they blend in when actually in the environment. Like, just using tigers as an example.

or how about a leopard?

It’s called ‘disruptive colouration’ because the markings help to break up the animal’s outline against the grasses or rocks. And the rosettes on leopards and jaguars? Sun spots shining through the trees and leaves on the ground.

And this is how hard it is to spot them WITH colour vision. Now imagine the above images but with the limited coloured mentioned above?

I’m sorry but there is not an animal in that first leopard picture

Are you, sure about that?

“Tigers are fruit colored” is my new favorite phrase.

— http://ifttt.com/missing_link?1528804687

Bitch, Nickelodeon shows Spongebob Squarepants for 7.5 hours in a row at night

iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels

I didn't know 'w' was a vowel

Inspiring words by Michelle Obama

i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????

rb this with whether u say paper scissors rock or rock paper scissors

me normally: linguistic differences are so interesting and cool! I love hearing different dialectal variations.

me, reading “paper, scissors, rock” with my own two eyeballs: the lord is testing me

But Consider: Boulder, Parchment, Shears!

Wtf is paper, scissors, rock?? It's fucking scissors paper rock!

I AM SCREAMINg

DEAD LITERALLY

I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

Holy shit I forgot this happened

When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

First of all, - just for some background: My Mum died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn’t about her. I guess that’s fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad’s family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don’t want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn’t make it for me- but I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My dad’s family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo… I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fuck her brains out. Looking back on it now, it’s pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her… and it wasn’t a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn’t like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn’t sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister’s friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He’s a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging. Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I’m not saying that I’m proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don’t think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart… and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her.

But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I’ve ever fucking seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can’t say I was surprised. But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party… my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone.

It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that it canonically takes place in a train post-apocalypse where the Island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dystopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or cannibalized for repair

If you think I’m kidding you need to read the original books

could you please direct me to a source? i would feel much better if this was validated.

It took me so long to find this quote online but I did it because it’s so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine:

This illustration, by Gunvor and Peter Edwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Other Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch.

HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCKING FACE OMG

the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and illustrations. if you watched the show, it’s like that in book form. the second half of the railway series are so fucking dark and surreal i’m convinced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lsd and having hallucinations of his own death.

Excuse me but the very first story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a tunnel and refuses to run because he doesn’t want to get his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel.

They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever.

On the show, didn’t they also hook up one engine to a generator, so he’d never move again? That was literally one of the lines, I think. It’s on some other post on here. It was chilling.

Yes!  This also happened in the books, to an engine referred to only as “No. 2″, but the television series applied the same scenario to an invented character named “Smudger”, in the episode “Granpuff”.

This is so fucked up

No, listen.

Okay, so we see Railway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly it’s so much worse in the Other Railways? I mean, sure, you might get turned into a generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as you’re told, but at least you’re not cut up and sold for parts, right? It’s not so bad on the island of Sodor, right?

Or maybe that’s just what Railway Management wants the engines to think.

Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, illustrated in hellish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways.

You are lucky to be an engine of Sodor.

Railway Management cares about you.

Trust Railway Management.

Stay on Your Track.

It Could Be So Much Worse.

Wtf the fuck is this train based 1984 bullshit

Good GOD.

but this is all based on what was literally happening in real life on Britain’s railways - the modernisation of British Rail, decommissioning steam engines and replacing them with new deisel and electric engines. This is why deisel engines are always the villains in the railway series, because Rev W Awdry and many other people hated it because they were taking away the romance of steam - never mind that the new engines were cleaner, faster, stronger and safer.

when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches

a question to the skate board side of tumblr

how do you guys get the boards to stick to your feet when you jump?

reblog if you dont scream at 5am

trying to prove a point to birds

hey @ goyim could y'all reblog this if you're actually willing to listen to Jewish people and protect us?

we really need allies right now, and I know seeing this on people’s blogs could be comforting to other Jewish people.

no one wants to admit they shop at hot topic but we all do 

I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

*watching dora the explorer* holy CRAP!! she just BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!!!! guys this show is so META and EPIC

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Dora the Explorer. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head.

There’s also Dora’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into her characterisation- her personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE.

As a consequence people who dislike Dora the Explorer truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in the Map’s existential catchphrase “I’m the map I’m the map I’m the map I’m the map I’m the MAP” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons.

I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Swiper the Fox’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Dora tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.