I know you said non-lesbians dni but I’m bi and just want to say I really like your account 😭❤️ i know some bi women/bi radfems get angry when our community is criticized and I was angry/offended at first too but I feel like after a while I just stopped being in denial and had to acknowledge that all of these criticisms/anger from lesbians didn’t just come outta no where, and that there are actual problems in ‘bisexual’ communities that directly harm lesbians (and even other bi women who aren’t male centric) that no one in these communities wants to acknowledge so why should we feel offended when lesbians actually do acknowledge them when we won’t
Also I feel like people don’t understand intersectionality and think just because they have an identity that’s oppressed in one way, it means they can never ever also be an oppressor. So them facing biphobia from straights for being bi or in a same sex relationship, makes them think they can’t also be an oppressor towards lesbians. I see this a lot with white bis too who think they’re sexuality erases they’re racial privilege (it’s esp funny when they do this and are also are in opposite sex relationships, yet think they’re sooo oppressed despite no one even knowing they’re ‘gay’ until they mention it and also benefitting from white privilege)
But anyway this is getting too long now but I’ve recently come into full realization of my sexuality after moving away from my Christian family and not having to suppress my attractions anymore. But even then I still notice I center men in certain ways and I would’ve have even been able to notice this if it wasn’t for following lesbian radfems, reading books/theory by them and actually listening to their critiques. I still have a long way to go obviously but I wouldn’t be where I am now and as comfortable in my sexuality if it wasn’t for me deciding to not be so closed offed and if I didn’t listen to lesbians. So many bi women won’t even have a convo with a lesbian without assuming they’re just biphobic and hate all of us and then wonder why there’s such a divide between bi and lesbian women now
Bi girl again and I forgot to add that it’s clear a lot of bi (and het) radfems are more like liberal feminists with just a little extra angst lol. Many of them do not ever want to stop centering men in their lives and will say things like “do you expect us to just give up on love?!” when asked why they still get into romantic and sexual relationships with men despite being aware of how horrible they are. And like yes lol, I fully expect a radfem who is actually serious and principled to not lay with the sex that is our literal oppressors, and last I checked romantic attraction and heteronormative concepts of love aren’t more important than ending sex based oppression but I guess to some it is
