your honour, permission to call the jury "chat"
call my pussy a truffle the way your hog is hunting it down through the bush
vodka, rum, gin, or tequila and your sun sign
Anonymous asked:
You have fricking juggalotastic armpits!!
i think i should start smoking cigarettes
fem tops rly have it the worst bc all the bottoms wanna call you sir and daddy and its like…
graendaal
I hate that this is my life, bottoms are too much sometimes like girl you’re six years older than me and own property, I am not your daddy! But do spread those cheeks.
ihateladygaga
u gotta be hedonistic about vegetables. they're not good boy food that u eat to prove you're mature, they're the food that you can shovel into your mouth at 5 am without getting nauseous
Me crawling out of the bedroom after a 15 hour hibernation to shovel sweet peppers into my mouth like a skrinkled possum
cause of death: tried to organize an activity with more than 2 friends at once past the age of 25
wontonsoupinthemorning-deactiva
message to de west:
get sillay
i think tumblr urls in the old superwholock fandom style are like those old household appliances that got discontinued because they had asbestos or uranium or whatever in them - maybe you have a beloved cousin or old high school friend who still has a dean-and-loki-in-the-tardis and sure it's not great but what are you gonna do, make them get rid of it? come on, that's katie's url, she's had it forever, it's fine. but if you find someone that has a brand new castieldrinkingteawithsherlock then something dark is afoot. they have regulations against making any more of those. you should be able to cut tumblr users open and count their rings like trees. i bet some of you got horny reading that last sentence
disco elysium fans: aw man i hate savescumming but i have to ensure that harry prematurely ejaculates on kim’s couch for the couchfucker thought (gives +10 xp on all reaction speed checks)