Hey everyone, I’m emerging from the depths to share a new endeavor with you! Some of you might remember that I was running a pride clothing shop based on my doodles. I’ve decided to revamp the shop and create a bunch more designs.
To celebrate, I’m running a $100 gift card giveaway!
If you like what you see, I’d really appreciate your support in signal boosting this. :D Help a QPOC-owned business get off the ground and get yourself something cute!
Thank you so much!!! —Arf
So... I haven’t posted in a while and it’s for several reasons: I don’t have the time/spoons; while I still identify as more or less aro/ace I don’t feel the impetus to engage so much with the identity/community anymore; and the toxic elements of Tumblr are too much.
Running this blog has been an incredibly positive experience overall, though, and I feel truly blessed that I’ve been able to help so many people and play a not insignificant part in raising national awareness about ace spectrum identities.
I’ll be keeping this blog (as well as demisexuality.org) online as a repository for those who need it and stumble upon it but I won’t be updating anymore.
If you want to continue following me my main account is @cinderclaws (aesthetic) and my sideblog is @pupisglobal (memes, social justice, humor).
I wish all of you the best.
A friend of mine is helping with an event to share the stories of people of lesser-known identities. If you don’t live in Philly, you can share your story to be read by a Qunify member. If you do, then you’re welcome to read your story to the audience if you wish.
This event centers voices of folks whose sexualities are dismissed or shamed within the LGBTQ+ community, sexualities such as Asexuality, Bisexaulity, Demisexuality, Pansexuality, etc. We recognize many folks with these sexualities experience judgement or shaming when they disclose their identity to their friends, or even their LGBTQ+ fam.
If you would like to share your story at the event, please email us at qunifyphl@gmail.com. Please include a two sentence introduction of yourself. Each story should be 5-7 minutes long.
What is that? A character that’s allowed to be asexual and say it and be happy they figured a part of their identity out? A character that’s asexual and it’s not used as a punchline to a joke or as an excuse to shit on asexuality (looking at you, House MD)?
Honestly, I was a bit scared of this season 4. I haven’t even identified as asexual for long, but I already know media have had trouble putting us in shows without disrespecting our identities, without making fun of us and spreading harmful ideas about it (thanks again, House MD) or without telling us that all we needed was to find a person willing to harass us sexually enough until we’d give in to their sexual demands (thank you, The Big Bang Theory, for turning Amy into a sex-crazed nymphomaniac out of nowhere and forcing Sheldon into a relationship he’s never wanted to begin with). I was scared that Netflix would pull some similar shit too.
So when in episode 1 of this new season Emily said “asexual” I sort of doubled back because… the word was uttered? In its specificity? It’s a thing that was said without dodging the concept? Oh my god. The interesting thing about that conversation in the season premiere is that Todd’s reaction is not one that differs too much from my own, back when I first heard of asexuality. I definitely did reject the label (back then I only identified as bi and thought I was settled, that I’d figured it out, but especially that I might be a weirdo but I wasn’t “that much of a weirdo” so I understand wanting to distance yourself from the label of asexuality. It’s one that threatens everything you grow up with, it threatens what you might already believe of yourself, and maybe it comes at a time when you’re not ready for it. But then finally Todd embraced it, and… “it actually feels nice to say it out loud”. I feel you, buddy. I feel you so much. And then going to a group for aces? Accepting himself? And that expression he makes when he meets them, it’s how I felt when I accepted myself. And that is just… so much. I’m so proud and happy right now. I was always used to linking asexuality with shame at least outside of the internet, and it’s the first time I see it treated as something normal and not something to be ashamed of or something to change and “fix”. Take note, other tv shows, this is how you do it.
Also, another note: it’s such a nice coincidence that Tim Gunn was in this episode!
So in the first ten minutes of season 4 of Bojack Horseman, the word asexual is used correctly in an emotionally-laded conversation. High quality y’all.
Okay so an update: I’m on episode 4 and the asexual representation is like, the best possible example of asexual representation we currently have. Kind of overwhelming tbh.
So in the first ten minutes of season 4 of Bojack Horseman, the word asexual is used correctly in an emotionally-laded conversation. High quality y’all.
I haven't seen any ace blogs talking about this, but recently a Kpop idol came out as asexual, and I'm really proud. It has opened up discussion in the kpop community about asexuality, and many people are being introduced to the idea. It's really cool, especially in a world where there is a lack of open lgbtqa. The idol's name is Hansol and he's from Topp Dogg for anyone who's curious
I love him, I spent the whole night after hearing the news listening to Topp Dogg
“India’s Supreme Court has issued a historic ruling confirming the right of the country’s LGBT people to express their sexuality without discrimination.
Judges ruled that sexual orientation is covered under clauses in the Indian Constitution that relate to liberty, despite the Government claiming there was no legal right to privacy.
The ruling paves the way for discriminatory practices against LGBT people to be challenged in the courts.”
(read more)
This is such a huge deal! It affects 1.3 billion people.
Would I be graysexual if in general I don't want sex and don't feel sexual attraction to anyone but in certain situations I can get horny and turned on?
You can identify as gray asexual if you want to, but experiencing arousal doesn’t preclude you from identifying as asexual, just so you know!
Is it common for demisexuals to kiss and have relationships later than usual? I'm eighteen and I've always felt bad for not kissing anyone and "being old" for it.
It’s definitely common! When you don’t feel sexual attraction as often as easily as most people, it can be hard to find someone you want to kiss or date. I know people who didn’t kiss anyone until their twenties, so you’ve got time.
Hullo! So, I don't know if I'm sex repulsed or sex positive because I'm into sex positive erotica but the idea of being with an actual person off the page repulses me. I 've been telling myself it's because i'm not ready or because i haven't found the right person but I'm starting to think if it's my place on the ace spectrum. any thoughts on what this may mean?
Sex repulsion is usually a sign of being on the ace spectrum, though non-ace people can be sex repulsed as well (I think it’s just less common). Some people even identify as ace because they don’t want sex at all, so it sounds like you could adopt one of the labels if it makes sense for you! And some aces do enjoy erotica even if they don’t like sex—you might look up autochorissexualism.
i just sent an ask but i just wanted to say thank you for this opportunity to let out my feelings, i have literally no idea what i want or feel at all, it's overwhelming to be questioning as i'm sure most people would understand - this blog is amazing, thank you so much.
evan edinger (youtuber) just did a video on feeling broken due to casual aphobia and it's great 💜
These are sad feelings, but these are valid feelings and it’s okay if anyone watching shares them. The constant feeling of you will always be happy, to me, is like always being happy in general. Sure, a great goal. But, people simply aren’t always happy. That’s okay. And I think as long as the negativity is around in the world, it’s like a flu virus. You may catch the flu even after you got over it.
Anyways, this video is really honest and I wanted to give him a hug, and tell him I’m proud of him for this video.
Just an Article I saw on Facebook
idk if this is a dumb question, but i'm ace and im not super in the loop about QPRs, so i started reading up and theyre so cool, id definitely like to have one sometime. but i was wondering if it can still be called a queerplatonic relationship if one qpp is cis female and the other is a cis male? what about if only 1 of them is on the lgbt and/or ace spectrum? sorry if this is a dumb question!
The way I see it, anyone can be in a QPP in theory. It’s a word for a long-term/committed partnership that is platonic in nature. Anyone is capable of wanting or being in such a relationship.
Does anyone have suggestions? My friend’s child came out as a trans girl and is questioning if she’s ace, but I haven’t been in the loop recently and am wondering if there’s some repository of experiences or articles, anything that would help her navigate the intersection of a trans+ace identity, specifically with regard to how dysphoria and resultant sex repulsion might affect an ace identity. Thanks!
cosmopolitan did an (actually well written) article on demisexuality and it was FEATURED on snapchat! 💜🖤💜 my little ace heart is just bursting at the seams over this
Any advice for someone who's dating an asexual? What can I do to make her feel comfortable in the relationship?
The main thing I see aces worrying about is that they’re not enough and their partner will leave them for someone who wants sex. The main thing your partner will probably need is reassurance that you’re happy with their sexual boundaries, and you won’t leave them for someone who isn’t asexual (if for some reason you do want to break up with them later on, that’s fine, of course—but as long as you are happy with the relationship and intend to stay in it, it would definitely help to reassure your partner).
As a concerned demisexual I am wondering why is "I Do Not Hook Up" by Kelly Clarkson not yet the official demisexual theme song? (I'm bringing up the real demi problems here lol)
The lyrics are indeed pretty relatable!
