“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”
— Sylvia Plath

“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”
— Sylvia Plath
i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.
i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.
what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.
so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.
and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.
and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.
Totally normal TMA fanart here… nothing at all weird about this one…
Opportunities in life come up like side quests in video games. You can choose to interact with these things, NPCs, and situations. They may or may not present a new chapter in your adventure.
It never stops being funny to think about how Martin Blackwood's superpower is being so depressed he can turn invisible
I got an art block and I thought to do something about it. We’re friends now! \o/
Prompt-based fandom events are when you really learn everyone’s colors like you’ll find the people who take the prompt “death” and come up with some smarmy ship-art of character A and character B walking over dead leaves while wearing scarves and drinking hot cider and then you’ll find the people who take the prompt “sunshine” and write how a bright glint of sunshine reflected off the barrel of a gun is the absolute last thing character A sees before taking a bullet to the chest
you can lead a content creator to water but you sure as fuck can’t make him drink
It’s like watching a car repeatedly drive straight into a wall. It’s unexplainable, it looks like it hurts a lot, but ultimately it ends up being darkly, ironically funny.
From my personal experience being an American on tumblr is like being the person in the BACK of the car praying that the person driving will STOP ramming into the wall. A lot of us know this shit is stupid and we’re looking out the window like “LOOK THOSE OTHER CARS ARE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD LETS BE LIKE THEM” But the driver is like “FUCK YOU! BUILT FORD TOUGH! USA USA USA DONT LIKE IT, GET OUT!” but the doors are locked and the car is now smoking and threatening to catch fire.
Reblogging for the followup comment! ‘cos that’s exactly what it’s like.
who the fuck is in the driver’s seat
This is glorious
did i meme right
Isn't the second one Sherlock....
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These are so creepy but so good holy shit
You’ve never been the best at anything, but you always were able to make do. One day, you meet an old woman who offers to teach you how to master any skill. Her only demand? You paint her the best painting she’s ever seen. The catch? She’s blind.
So i started to write.
Finished my novel, i whispered it all to the old lady.
She cried out of joy and smiled with that kind smile only her was able to do.
'you painted the world with the colours I never saw, but i was able to feel them for the first time, thanks to you'.
Because the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest Even in the far future, never forget the you of right now Wherever you are right now, you’re just taking a break Don’t give up
BTS - Tomorrow
Education goes over the hill and student identity goes over the hill too The class system of the 21st century is divided into two Those who have and those who haven’t
BTS - Spine Breaker
The hero you’ve dreamed of since you were young We used to jump, wanting to be heroes But now we’ve grown and time has passed You’re becoming an adult but… I wanna go back so I close my eyes and scream But nothing changes, reality is the same
BTS - Jump
Miss you Saying this makes me miss you even more Miss you Even though I’m looking at your photo Time’s so cruel, I hate us Seeing each other for once is now so hard between us
BTS - Spring Day
I threw my future away because I was drunk on dating When I woke up, I was surrounded by land mines Surrounded by people’s stares that can’t be touched I shout for a miracle in this reality
JHope - Boy Meets Evil
If anyone keeps insulting you, insulting you Tell em you’re my lady Go tell them, tell them Whatever other people say Whatever this world tells you You’re the best to me just the way you are
BTS - 21st Century Girl
Let’s only see good things I can’t say that either Saying that there will only be good things from now on Saying that you won’t get hurt I can’t say that I can’t lie like that It’s okay come on when I say one two three forget it Erase all sad memories hold my hand and smile
BTS - 2! 3!
If you can’t fly, then run Today we will survive If you can’t run, then walk Today we will survive If you can’t walk, then crawl Even if you have to crawl, gear up Aim your gun! Ready! Fire!
BTS - Not Today
I went on the road that I was told not to go I did things I was told not to do I wanted things I couldn’t want I got hurt and hurt again You can call me stupid Then I’ll just smile I don’t wanna succeed By doing things I don’t wanna do I’m pushing myself Word
BTS - Outro: Wings
I wanted to be the tender waves But why didn’t I know you were the sea? You got the best of me
BTS - Best Of Me
Where there is hope, there is always hardship
BTS - Sea
I’m the one I should love in this world Shining me, precious soul of mine I finally realized so I love me Not so perfect but so beautiful I’m the one I should love
Jin - Epiphany
Even if sadness erases me Even if there are clouds Even if I’m in an endless dream Even if I’m endlessly crumpled Even if my wings are torn Even if some day, I’m not me anymore It’s alright, only I am my own salvation I won’t ever die in this walk
BTS - I’m Fine
I’m not going to say anything blatant like “find strength” I will let you hear my story, let you hear it… I always want to be the best So I was impatient and always restless Comparing myself with others became my daily life My greed that was my weapon suffocated me and also became a leash But looking back on it now, truthfully I feel like it’s not true that I wanted to be the best I wanted to become your comfort and move your heart I want to take away your sadness, and pain
BTS - Magic Shop
The world will never know How sad I am My hurt is water and oil that can’t mix So only above the surface of the water do I Breathe, and the interest (towards me) ends
BTS - Whalien 52
They call me try-hard Our generation has had it hard Hurry, chase ’em Thanks to those that came before us I’m spread too thin
BTS - Silver Spoon
Who are you living for? My heart stopped when I was nine or ten. Put your hand on your heart and ask what your dream was, What it really was.
BTS - “O!RUL8,2?”
Adults tell me that hardships are only momentary To endure a little more, to do it later Everybody say NO! It can’t be any later Don’t be trapped in someone else’s dream.
BTS - N.O
I’m becoming weird. You can’t go to the peak by being normal, baby.
BTS - Boyz With Fun
I still believe, even though it’s unbelievable: To lose your path Is the way to find that path.
BTS - Lost
Who says a dream must be something grand? Just become anybody We deserve a life Whatever, big or small, you are you after all.
BTS - Paradise
| I was asked a lot about what are my favorite quotes. So I made a post. I hope that you enjoy and like this post. Don’t hesitate to share it so more people know about the beauty that is BTS’ music.
| By @mimibtsghost
Some of you love picking on second language English speakers and it shows. Many times when I’m trying to make an important point, some people love to say shit like “Oh you used the wrong preposition here and blah blah blah therefore you hate Z people and are now cancelled” when it’s CLEARLY not the point at all. Sometimes they even say things like, “Yeah I totally get that it wasn’t your point but this can maybe imply X Y and Z”
The great majority of the people who do this type of shit have never learned another language and have no idea what it’s like to learn the rules of another culture without ever having lived in it. Then they pick apart every word, sometimes searching for a mistake. Listen, it’s already hard enough to express your thoughts eloquently in a language that isn’t your own, and even HARDER when you know people are gonna try to pick apart everything you say based on cultural rules you’ve never actually experienced.
How can you expect someone to abide by all the rules of a culture, and understand all of its nuances and subtleties, without them being in it? This doesn’t mean second language English speakers get a free pass to say whatever the fuck they want, but y'all definitely need to be more understanding and not jump straight to attacking when someone makes a small English error that could be interpreted in a negative way.
For instance, in my language, “wife” and “woman” are sometimes used interchangeably. It wouldn’t be a huge surprise if someone who spoke my language said “she’s his woman” instead of “she’s his wife” in English by accident. Just because someone makes this mistake, that doesn’t instantly mean that they’re a horrible misogynist who thinks women are property. They could just be a chill person trying to say a sentence and accidentally translate it literally. I made this mistake sometimes as a child because I really just didn’t know.
It wouldn’t hurt y'all to calmly tell someone about their mistake instead of going straight to attack mode.
In all honesty, people who speak a second language are half the time more correct than native speakers because they might not know all the quirks and slang, but people pick at them for making one mistake despite making tons themselves
SO COMMISSIONS OPEN
i can do various stuff so feel free to DM and ask if you’re even just curious
I will draw with pleasure BTS, Miraculous LB things, Harry Potter, yourself or your friends or just ANYTHING
Also I’m providing prints with any of my art worldwide
And I’m doing design stuff
And anyway donations are also open~
Please, spread if you can 💜