"your heart was glass, i dropped it."
| you promised him that you'd be careful and that you wouldn't get hurt. ironically, you end up sacrificing yourself to protect him.
| jing yuan x reader
˓ ꒱ notes and disclaimers: reader is g/n, established relationship, reader doesn't die, might be ooc. let me know if i've missed anything!!
˓ ꒱ authors notes: this was a request from @waaav !! i'm extremely grateful to be able to write this. i hope you like it!
"pleaseeee let me come along with you! i can protect myself, you've seen it before!" you whined, pleading to your boyfriend on accompanying him to his new mission. "i know you can, but this mission is extremely dangerous. i don't want to see you get hurt." he gives you a slight frown. "jing, i will literally keep begging you until you say yes." you sighed as you lean on his desk. "pleaseeee?" you try your luck at using your puppy eyes on him, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.
this time, they do. "fine fine fine, just please be careful. stop giving me those eyes" he chuckles a little, ruffling your hair a little.
dark clouds gathered at the scene, obstructing your view. "you think it might rain?" you ask, looking around you even though you knew you couldn't see even 5 meters ahead of you. fog was starting to pick up too, making it even harder to navigate around. "let's hope not. you can hold my hand if you get scared though." he teases as you let out a scoff.
you hope he doesn't notice but his light hearted behaviour made you feel calm, like no matter how bad things would get, everything would somehow work out.
he notices your trailing behind a little, he turns back and takes a hold of your hand. "come on, let's go." he flashes you a smile. "we should be near, keep on the look out." he says as his grip on his weapon tightens, ready for any sneak attacks. "got it, general." he rolls his eyes at this, slowly letting go of your wrist so you can draw out your own weapon.
the clouds seem to get darker..
it was cold. unbearably cold.
was it the rain rain?
it was raining.
harsh droplets of rain splashed against jing yuan’s frame, dripping onto the once warm clothes he chose in the morning.
his heart sinks even deeper with every shallow breath you take, at some point he thinks he’s hit rock bottom.
it sinks even deeper.
he’s a general, how could he have miscalculated the situation this badly? his arms around your frail body tightens. he shouldve known, he shouldve done something. he shouldve prevented this, shouldve protected you.
the raindrops feel like minuscule daggers, piercing his skin. guilt overwhelming all of his senses, unable to hear or see anything but you.
his hearing deafening on everything but your hushed breaths. vision blurring on even the ground beneath him, but not you.
not you.
he's only able to comprehend the way your crimson blood is staining his hands, his hands are shaking.
his mind is rushing, replaying the horrid memory in his mind. he prays the sickening melody of your cries could be erased from his and your memory. he can't even fathom how much pain you were in right now.
although he knew no god would listen, he prays, he begs, he pleads.
he could barely register the healers rushing to your side, soldiers surrounding the area, checking for any danger lurking nearby. he almost doesn't let the healers take you away, rushing urgently to get you to somewhere safer while trying to not lose anymore of your blood.
he prays once more, ‘please be okay.”
you’re resting in a hospital bed, plush white sheets covering the numerous wraps of bandages around your body. your lover, sat in a wooden chair beside your bed. silver hair spilled off of his shoulders, messier than ever. his eyes are dry, tear stains evident on his cheeks as he plays with his fingers, scratching and peeling at the skin due to anxiety.
the doctors had left him alone with you after checking your vitals, assuring him you’d make a slow but steady recovery. he sighs once more, thinking about how much he’ll miss your good morning kisses, nagging him that he’s going to be late if he intends on continuing to cuddle you.
he cant look you in the face, even when you’re unconscious. his mind flashing to the exact moment you shoved him out the way to protect him.
his knuckles turn white as he continues to clench his fists, vision blurring once more. the inability to see clearly almost becomes familiar now. he'd hold your hand, grazing over your delicate skin. he assures himself this simple gesture is because he wants to give you even the smallest amount of comfort if it meant you would come back to him quicker.
maybe it was to stop his own hand from shaking.
"jing yuan..?" you manage to mutter out. his head almost snaps at our fast he looks up at you, his eyes glossing over once again. his hands interlocking with yours. "you're back." he sighs, a relieved smile made its way to his lips. your eyes scanned his figure, god he looks horrible.
"how lo—"
"please don't ever leave me alone like that again." his voices cracks, cutting you off. "please, please promise me you'll never do something like that ever again." he pleads, holding your hand tightly as if he could lose you at any second. he feels your cold fingers slowly stroking his hand, trying your best to comfort the man in front of you. "how have you been?" you said, trying your luck at calming him down by thinking of something else. "horrible." he laughs, you're glad it made him smile a little. he releases your hands, leaning further on the hospital bed.
"its been really lonely without you. i've missed your constant nagging, i've missed your morning kisses, i've missed your smile." he manages, he voice starting to break as tears start welling up in his eyes. you sit up from the hospital bed, no matter how much it hurts you to, you try your best not to wince. jing yuan feels your cold hands around his neck, your neck nuzzling into his neck at the same time. "i've missed you too." you whisper, letting a tear slide down your pale cheek. his arms cautiously wrap around your frame, extremely careful not to hurt you. he rests his head completely against yours, he feels as though he can finally relax once more.
his hand catches the tears starting to fall on his face as he unwillingly pulled away. "the doctors said you have to stay here for a few weeks, or until the wound is finally healed up." you don't miss the pout that's made it's way to his lips. "i'll be fine, i promise." your hand caressed his cheek, causing the corners of his lips to turn into a smile. "thank you for protecting me back there, but please don't do that ever again. i mean it." he peers into your eyes, you think if he stares at you for long enough he could see into your soul.
"i love you, i couldn't bear seeing you leave me."
"i love you too jing. just keep a look out next time." you wink at him, reciting his previous words. keep a look out.
he scoffs, "yea yea. get some rest now." he places a kiss on your lips before sitting back down. "i'll be here when you wake up. i promise."
notes and reblogs are heavily appreciated !!
(sorry for this trash fic i suck at angst and i'm not too familiar with jing yuan ;( )
