Sit, Speak, Play Dead.
Thinking you can handle a 26% pre-roll but you rock up to the Subway counter and realize the fucking cold cut combo is staring at you
Got my gallbladder ultrasounded today. We'll see if I have cancerrrrr or if I'm just a dancerrerrr
Dude when the age regressor starts waddling towards the unlocked gun safe during littlespace hours...
"we NEED representation in media" why does everything have to be like you. didnt the fun of stories used to be going somewhere and experiencing something totally new and outside yourself. why does everything have to be comfortable and easy and ego-stroking
Welcome. Welcome to Tumblr.
You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining social networking websites. I thought so much of Tumblr that I elected to establish my Administration here, in the Citadel so thoughtfully provided by Our Benefactors. I have been proud to call Tumblr my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through on your way to parts unknown, welcome to Tumblr. It’s safer here.
“Don’t like❤️ any gifsets, they put something in them, to make you queue up. I don’t even remember my last 40 posts.”
…They’re always reblogging but they never post… and the ones that do post…they never reply… you never see them follow… they’re always liking… no one ever queues but they’re always… they’re always reblogging but they never post…
Hey, reblog this post.
ˢᵒᴼᵒᴸᴬᵀ ʸʸʸʸʸʸᴮ! ᴴᴴʰᴴʰᴴᴴᴬᴬᴬᴬ! ᴳⁿᴺᴺᴺᴵᴺᴱᴾᴾᴬᴴ ᴱᴮ ᵀᴺᴬᵃᴬᶜ ˢᴵⁱⁱⁱᴴᵀ!!!!
the refusal to drink real coffee is definitely part of American babyadult syndrome.. so deranged that grown ass adults literally get up at 9am and go to a coffee shop to demand a basically a giant vanilla milkshake with an ounce of coffee in it. like oh does baby need morning cookie crunchy milky shake? whip cream sprinkles on your big chocy milk?? If I were a Starbucks barista I would NOT be a good person
I want to ramble about my irl experience with parasitism because I'm horny and fucked up but. The internet isn't fun to talk to anymore :( 🦜🐦
the american midwest. people wake up in their ikea beds and immediately slam into their ford trucks and drive 2 hours through featureless cornfields to pretend-work in an office for a company that functionally does nothing. they dissociate until it's time to get back home and listen to classic rock or top 40 pop for an hour to wind down. dinner is unseasoned roast chicken and weak cold beer made mostly of rice. then they have missionary for 3 minutes with their hetero spouse and reminisce briefly about high school and pass out. anything that forces a deviation from this life-plan is a federal fucking offense and, in the minds of people who have fully surrendered spiritually to the midwestern mindset, heralds instant violent death. they say bulls are baited into a rage by the color red; if you show a midwesterner any color bright enough, they'll reach for a gun
new genre of videos youtube’s algorithm has decided I needed to see
greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou
sitting anti-kink posters down in front of a wrestling match and explaining kayfabe to them with the patience of a preschool teacher
You see that one? He's called the "heel." He looks mean and says a lot of scary things, but it's not real and he's actually very nice. When he says "I'm going to break you in half" you don't have to be scared because it's pretend. These two talked about this beforehand, and now they're playing pretend together. Can you think of any other situations that might be like this?