She was poetry, but he couldn’t read.”

His name was jarred hes nineteen

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

I feel so appreciated :3

WE FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

“widow is dressed sexy to distract and seduce her enemies”

she’s a sniper

*notices a blue dot on the horizon* ah!!!! me pengy *a bullet passes right through my skull*

Police vs law enforcement

Look I used to work with tow truck guys and they do not give a fuck. One time the Air Force was doing a recruiting stunt and they decided to bring a plane as like…a prop? I dunno and they parked it in a 20 minute loading zone and 21 minutes later my coworkers IMPOUNDED THE PLANE.

Have you ever had an Air Force general call your office and bitch? He did not expect the tow truck guys.

Holy fuck there's no chill at Gizmodo

Gameboy peripheral PediSedate was designed for dentists and dosed kids with nitrous oxide as they played games.

Time to enter the ＧＡＭＥＲ ＺＯＮＥ

Camera, printer, sewing machine, now a fucking anaesthetic adminstrator…was there anything the Game Boy didn’t have an accessory for?

Do you know about the fish finding sonar?

gameboy sprinted so smart phones could lag and be ugly

feeling a deep sense of kinship with danny here

Mood

One of us one of us

The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947

where’s that quiz where you choose lke 4 colours u like and 4 u dont and it hands your ass on a plate

thank you @cumleaf @@ http://www.astro.com/cgi/atxgen.cgi?btyp=cf

When they said it hands you your ass on a plate, it hands you your motherfucking ass on a plate!

It’s me I was murdered. For the third time.

How in the actual hell

PER MY LAST EMAIL, HEATHER…

Ah, ‘mirroring’. 

white: hey have you listened to [classic rock band/song]

me: no im latina

Sorry but that’s like asking me, “Have you listened to Juanes or Fetty Wap?” and me responding, “No I’m a white woman”.

Your ethnicity doesn’t preclude you from potentially being exposed to certain music genres.

me: jokes

white: *crying uncontrollably* we are all one music genre….. the human genre

“i wish i lived in the country side!”

no u dont. You dont want to have to drive an hour just to get some McDonalds. There is nothing to do here and everyone is racist. My neighbour’s chickens got stolen last week

owning cats is mostly just about getting meowed at

And “WHAT” in response as you and your cat just look at each other like

👁 👁

Getting meowed at is an essential vitamin