all of this is temporary

@dearophelia / dearophelia.tumblr.com

s. she/her.

best of sara's fic, according to her

Because I’m feeling some kind of way about my cancer lately and wanted to put together a Sara’s Greatest Fic Hits while I’m still around to do it (which is a morbid thing to type, but see the intro: been feeling some kind of way lately).

These range from my most popular fics, to the ones lost to weird posting hours, and everything in between. If I counted correctly, there are 14 fandoms on this list: from Mass Effect and Dragon Age, to Grey’s Anatomy and Stargate SG-1, to The West Wing and Calvin & Hobbes.

I’d appreciate reblogs on this (I am not ashamed to pull the stage iv cancer card here) so it can reach as many people as possible.

I have been writing fic for over 15 years; this is not a short list.

All are rated T or lower unless otherwise indicated. All stories are at or under the 3k mark unless otherwise indicated.

idk who needs to hear this but,,,every piece of fandom content you make should be self indulgent. you should be creating because it gives you happiness and nothing less. you aren't a machine meant to only give to other people. the enjoyment should always come before the validation.

oh fuck it’s disability pride month

shoutout to those with chronic illness, physical handicaps, genetic disorders (yo that’s me!!), paralyzed folks, amputees, people who were disabled in accidents, those who were born with their condition, those with mental disorders, those with ptsd, blind folks, deaf folks, people who use wheelchairs, those who have to lug around equipment or else they die (hey that’s me again) and people who have a whole shelf in their fridge or pantry dedicated to their meds. we are loud and beautiful and diverse and incredible. may we finally get the same rights as our abled counterparts

and may accessibility departments return our goddamn phone calls

i think we as a society have to become comfortable again with the idea that even the best of us are sometimes just petty little bitches who don’t like certain things for completely arbitrary and/or personal reasons

we were the liminal kids. alive before the internet, just long enough we remember when things really were different.

when i work in preschools, the hand signal kids make for phone is a flat palm, their fingers like brackets. i still make the pinky-and-thumb octave stretch when i "pick up" to respond to them.

the symbol to save a file is a floppy disc. the other day while cleaning out my parents' house, i found a collection of over a hundred CDs, my mom's handwriting on each of them. first day of kindergarten. playlist for beach trip '94. i don't have a device that can play any of these anymore - none of my electronics are compatible. there are pieces of my childhood buried under these, and i cannot access them. but they do exist, which feels special.

my siblings and i recently spent hours digitizing our family's photos as a present for my mom's birthday. there's a year where the pictures just. stop. cameras on phones got to be too good. it didn't make sense to keep getting them developed. and there are a quite a few years that are lost to us. when we were younger, mementos were lost to floods. and again, while i was in middle school, google drive wasn't "a thing". somewhere out there, there are lost memories on dead laptops. which is to say - i lost it to the flood twice, kind of.

when i teach undergrad, i always feel kind of slapped-in-the-face. they're over 18, and they don't remember a classroom without laptops. i remember when my school put in the first smartboard, and how it was a huge privilege. i used the word walkman once, and had to explain myself. we are only separated by a decade. it feels like we are separated by so much more than that.

and something about ... being half-in half-out of the world after. it marks you. i don't know why. but "real adults" see us as lost children, even though many of us are old enough to have a mortgage. my little sister grew up with more access to the internet than i did - and she's only got 4 years of difference. i know how to write cursive, and i actually think it's good practice for kids to learn too - it helps their motor development. but i also know they have to be able to touch-type way faster than was ever required from me.

in between, i guess. i still like to hand-write most things, even though typing is way faster and more accessible for me. i still wear a pj shirt from when i was like 18. i don't really understand how to operate my parents' smart tv. the other day when i got seriously injured, i used hey siri to call my brother. but if you asked me - honestly, i prefer calling to texting. a life in anachronisms. in being a little out-of-phase. never quite in synchronicity.

I imagine that the last generation to really feel this way, to really feel a before-and-after kind of world, was at the last turn of the century, which had 3 huge, life-changing inventions happen all at once.

In 1890, everybody rode horses, used candles to see at night, and communicated through letters.

By the 1920s (only 30 years later!), everybody had automobiles (or access to another form of 'self-driving' transportation like busses or trams) and nobody had horses. Nearly everyone had electricity in their houses. Nearly everyone had a telephone, or access to one.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine growing up, being taught by your parents all about how to ride horses and care for them and hitch them to a wagon, only to...not ever use that knowledge as an adult, because you have a car? Can you imagine learning how to make candles, finally getting good enough at it to be useful to your family as a teenager, only to flick a switch to turn on a light bulb as an adult?

I feel like that last huge change in technology is the same thing we are going through. I know how to read a paper map. I will never need to use this knowledge. But it's still in there; including the many patient hours my mother spent teaching me, and a lot of fond memories I have of her doing it. I know how to research a topic in a paper library, with actual books. Pretty sure I will never do that again. I memorize phone numbers, 'just in case'. In case what? The automobile (smartphone) gets un-invented? But I hold that knowledge in my head. It's there. It's part of me.

I wish I could speak to my great-great-grandmother, who had her first baby in 1900. To ask her, if what Millennials now are going through is what it was like for her Centennial generation. The absolute whiplash, from one way of life to another.

Kids born in 1890 knew how to make candles, and kids born in 1920 could not fathom why you would need to know this.

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Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

happy too tired July everyone

[image text: "July 1. Too tired." end text]

so I don’t want to be contrary with the post I saw actually on the post itself because that’s rude

But I feel like if the Ori had gotten half as much screen time as the Goa’uld, they would’ve been fascinating (says the woman who finds them fascinating anyway)

Ascended beings who literally steal power from the faith of their followers? That shit’s interesting! How do you fight something like that? How do you push back against what is essentially an unstoppable colonizing force (which is invading your recently-freed galaxy and therefore filling a pretty large power vacuum), which demands absolute faith? And which only gets stronger with each fallen world?

I’m so curious how the Free Jaffa handled it — sure, we got a few episodes, but this organization that is still finding its feet amongst their newfound freedom is suddenly fighting back against another set of false gods. That’s intriguing! More please!

I think if the Ori been divorced from the Arthurian mythos stuff and allowed to be a stronger, more organized group of false gods that Our Heroes had to deal with, they could’ve been really good villains. And that could’ve been a really interesting theme to explore: are power-hungry aliens just going to keep coming? Will the galaxy ever be free from fighting false gods? On that note, we know what a False God looks like, but we never find out what a Real God looks like — would we even know if we met one?