remember when Jim introduced Spock to his own parents lmao we stan a legend
Jim internally after the reveal: fuck they all must think I’m an idiot I don’t even know my first officer’s family name.
Sarek internally: wow my son didn’t even mention my name to his bondmate he can hold a grudge even better than I can.
Amanda internally: a captain? my boys done good for himself.
steve rogers: i thought you were dead………
bucky barnes: and i thought- fuck dude you got RIPPED my man you got fucking HUGE
Steve Rogers: I thought you were dead
Bucky Barnes: I thought I was straight
guys this is actually real like a real person wrote this
“more than enough” oh you fucking saints, absolutely pouring wealth onto the unfortunates
lol this is amazing
Dear Prudie,
I think I just witnessed a murder
You fucking monster
GET HER PRUDENCE
No wonder why her name is PRUDENCE
Time for the annual reblog!
Reading an advice columnist absolutely eviscerating someone who obviously wrote in hoping to get their shitty attitude validated is always a delight.
im his sweet laugh when he realizes he’s being handed three (3) different pride flags
so today I drove past a traffic sign that said 'hey teens buckling up is totes yeet yo'
i wish i was joking but after we screamed a bit my brother attempted to get a picture as proof, failed, and ended up with this masterpiece that pretty much sums up the whole experience
You mean this sign?
It’s over.
This is because ppl kept using it for all the wrong things and trying to excuse the most fucked up things possible with it, isn't it.
thank you op for your service
The professional evaluating me for ADHD: Sometimes hyperactivity can be mental, it isnt always feeling like you need to jump off walls. Like, you feel as though you can't stop your brain from thinking, or you need some sort of stimulus while going to sleep or else you can't sleep. Is that you?
Me having been told my entire life that i "wasn't physically hyperactive enough to have ADHD":
I’m a DM of two players, both who have characters very different from one another. Because of this all they would do was bicker to the point where I had to force them to at least somewhat get along. It also got to the point that what should take them 1 session to complete took them 3, and that was with me cutting half of the plot out to make them move along.
Me, the DM: both of you role a D20.
Player 1: why?
DM: just do it.
Player 1: I got 19.
Player 2 (the one that try’s to bicker the most): I got 4.
DM: great. Player 2, you have to respect Player 1 more.
Player 2: *throwing a fit*
Player 1: JESUS CHRIST FINALLY
(Both my players are actually really good friends irl and for some reason can’t get along while playing no matter how hard I try.)
when ur friend finally gets online and uve been waiting for them
Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.
Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.
Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I’m trying to tell you that I’m evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!
Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit
yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE
Where’s that image with the self driving car that is trapped in a salt circle made of “do not cross” symbols that its software won’t let it disobey
This one?
“next year’s 2020″ : not terrible
“this decade ends in 2 months” : bad
“1980 was nearly 40 years ago” : somehow the worst thing i’ve ever read
Broke: Coming out of the closet
WOKE: Containment Breach
Mom...Dad...
I'm [R E D A C T E D]
“do not mistake composure for ease”
This is why buying content directly from verified sex workers is the safest and most ethical way to consume porn. Don’t support Pornhub just cause they planted a couple trees
