inspired (day ii) ♡ 171210 (watch full) happy birthday © p. reason (do not edit or remove logo)

the music video “빛이나 (shinin’)”, the title track for poet | artist, has official been released. to begin: please do not download and upload the music video to any other youtube channel as the views will be important in helping to bring in potential wins on music shows next week. if you do not feel like you are ready to watch the video yet: you are not obligated to and do not feel bad for not being able to do so. take your time with it. you can help to spread word of the release around in other ways, such as: reblogging this post, sharing the link to the video on social media, etc. for people who do plan on watching it: please see this post for a tutorial on how to raise views.

poet | artist released: 1/23/18 1. 빛이나 (shinin) (title track) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, megatone, score arrangement: kim jonghyun, megatone, score 2. 환상통 (only one you need) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: blizman, christian paris, daniel klien, kendrick dean arrangement: blasian chris, jakob mihoubi, g.bliz, kendrick dean, mzmc, rudi daouk 

3. 와플 (#hashtag) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, imlay, jin soh arrangement: kim jonghyun, imlay, jin soh 4. 기름때 (grease) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, jake k. arrangement: kim jonghyun, jake k. 5. take the dive lyrics: so ji eum composition: christian fast, ellen berg tollbom, marcus lindberg, royal dive arrangement: royal dive 6. 사람 구경 중 (sightseeing) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, jake k., jin soh arrangement: kim jonghyun, jake k., jin soh 7. rewind lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, imlay arrangement: kim jonghyun, imlay 8. 하루만이라도 (just for a day) lyrics: jeon gandi  composition: chris wahle arrangement: chris wahle 9. 어떤 기분이 들까 (i’m so curious) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyum, imlay, jin arrangement : kim jonghyum, imlay, jin 10. sentimental lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, jake k arrangement: kim jonghyun, jake k 11. 우린 봄이 오기 전에 (before our spring) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, wefreaky arrangement: kim jonghyun, wefreaky

(151030) @realjonghyun90: i came home after work, but coming back to an empty space makes me feel like i’m not back home. perhaps for me home is somewhere noona, mom and roo stays. i miss them. (source: thatcoolcatmeow) [note: jonghyun mentioned on blue night that his mom and sister are currently on holiday in europe.]

a snippet of the infamous “even cockroaches have lovers, but not me” - in it’s fulled subbed glory. (featured on yoo hee yeol’s sketchbook, which aired january 24th, 2015.) (source)

to early emphasis: dear cloud’s nine has confirmed that she was asked by jonghyun to post his final note before passing to fans. she has also confirmed that she was given the blessing from his family to share it with the world. you can find confirmation of this here. below will be proper triggers for this post as it is not easy to read. i will also leave nine’s comment that she left on her post as it is important in regards to why she was asked to post it. if you feel that i have missed any please do not hesitation message me on my personal blog (jaekyung) and i will add them as quickly as i am able to. also thank you to sonexstella for translating. —- trigger warning(s): death tw, depression tw, suicide ideation tw, suicide tw nine: i said my final goodbye with jonghyunnie. even after seeing his smiling portrait of the deceased, it still feels like jonghyunnie will come to me and smile as if all of this was a dream. starting from awhile back, jonghyunnie told me his dark and deep internal stories. i think each day was very difficult for him. i kept having uneasy thoughts so i made it known to his family and tried my hardest to capture his heart but it only ended up postponing time and i could not block his last (action). i still cannot believe he is not in this world and it’s so painful. i’m still afraid, not knowing if it’s the right thing to upload these words but jonghyun himself asked me to please upload these words if he disappeared from this world. i wished this day would never come … after discussing with his family i am uploading his final note, according to his last wishes. i think that there must be a reason why he left this up to me. i worry that there will be controversy. however, i think that he predicted this and asked me, so i decided that i will do the one last thing i can do for jonghyunnie. i hope everyone knows now that jonghyun was not alone and that he worked hard … that he did really well … please thank him for withstanding well … beautiful jonghyun, i really love you a lot. going forward, i will love you a lot. in that place, please don’t be in pain and i hope you will be peaceful … —- i am broken from the inside. depression that slowly ate away at me ended up swallowing me. i couldn’t beat it. i hated myself. i held onto memories that have died out and, even though i shouted to snap out of it, there was no response. if suffocating breaths will not open up it’s better instead to stop. i asked who can take responsibility for myself. it’s you. i was completely alone. it’s easy to say you’ll end it. it’s hard to end it. i lived up to now admist that difficulty. you said i wanted to run away. that’s right. i wanted to run away. from myself. from you. i asked who was there. i said it was me. again, it was me. and once again, it was me. i asked why i kept losing memories. it’s my personality. i see. in the end, it’s all my fault. i hoped someone would notice, but no one knew. never met me, so of course, no one knew i was there. i asked why i was living. just. just. everyone just lives. if i asked why someone would die, you would say you’re exhausted. i suffered from concern. i never learned how to change tiresome pains into joy. pain is just pain. i urged myself not to be like that. why? why can’t i end it according to my own will? i tried to find out why i was in pain. i knew too well. i am in pain because of myself. it’s all because it’s my fault and because i’m foolish. teacher, did you want to hear these words? no. i did nothing wrong. when he blamed my personality with a quiet voice i thought it was so easy to be a doctor. it’s fascinating to see why i’m in this much pain. people who have more hardships than i do live well. people who are weaker than me live well. maybe that’s not it. of people who are alive, there is no one who has more hardships than i do, and who is weaker than i am. despite this, i was told to live. i asked why this is the case a hundred times, and it’s never for me. it’s for you. i wanted it to be for me. please don’t say things you don’t know. find out why it’s difficult. i told you many times why it’s difficult for me. with that, is it not possible for it to be this difficult? does there need to be more concrete drama? are you wanting more of a story? i already told you. did you not pay attention? what i can overcome doesn’t leave a scar. colliding with the world must not have been my fate. being known to the world must not have been my life. that’s why everything was difficult. colliding, and being known was difficult. why did i chose that. it’s a funny incident. it’s commendable that i was able to withstand up to this point. what more can i say? just tell me i worked hard. that i did a good job. that i went through a lot. even if you can’t smile, please don’t send me off in blame. you worked hard. you went through a lot. goodbye.

inspired (day ii) ♡ 171210 © fp (do not edit or remove logo)

© ideal boy 🌙 do not modify. (1 / 2)

blue night radio ♡ 151118 jonghyun: happiness…, i’ve wondered a lot about what this thing called “happiness” is. it seems to be a word that’s stimulated much through for me. anyway, i hope that everyone around me will be happy, including the people who hate me. (source: cosmicsticks)

monthly live connection (episode two) ♡ 151014 [translation of letter of baby jonghyun] happy birthday. mom, i want to do you good but, with my ability, i won’t be able to get awards. i can’t get any awards but i’ll try my best. mom, i love you so much. (source: dustypixie718)

(171219) @shinee: jonghyun. who loved music more than anybody, enjoyed the stage, the greatest artist who liked communicating with his fans through music. we will always remember you. (source: oh_mes)

blue night radio ♡ 150904 jonghyun shared a recent conversation that he had with his mom and kakaotalk. [the conversation] mama kim: what do you think are three good things that you have inherited from me? jonghyun: voice, thoughts, height. mama kim: then, what is that you’ve inherited from me that you think is lacking? jonghyun: nothing. jonghyun: it’s important to converse without losing each other. (source: cosmicsticks)

blue night radio - 141116 jonghyun: how interesting it is to feel comforted when you are comforting others? (translation: cosmicsticks)

meet roo, the protagonist of jonghyun’s most recent title track, “하루의 끝 (the end of a day)”.

so…, as the first official entry of fyjjong’s: jjong and friends “series”…, it’s been “requested” to document his relationship with roo - which completely counts. he wrote a song about the dog, so. ◟(◔ั₀◔ั )◞ ༘♡ tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme …: roo, who’s full name is actually byulroo, was given to jonghyun as a present from his sister a few months before lucifer era in 2010. (you can find a few old videos of her that were uploaded to sm’s original youtube channel: here and here. no one’s ever really been given an explaination as to why they were uploaded to the channel specifically but most people seem to think he hacked it, lmao.) (he also used to post videos of her on his old me2day account: i / ii) the story of how he came to name her byulroo is pretty well known as well (and one that he’s told a handful of times): basically, when she as still a puppy and back when jonghyun was still living at shinee’s dorm, she “defecated” on a white shirt of minho’s. his reaction to this was basically him saying “it’s really byulroo.” “byulroo” means, roughly, “not good” or “not great” in english. jonghyun felt bad about her doing this and had yet to name her yet so, in order to “make it up” to minho, he allowed him to name her and… that’s how byulroo / roo came to be. their relationship kind of transcends time and space and a good portion of the tweets that jonghyun made on his twitter the first year or two after making it revolved around her in some way, shape or form. one of his first tweets involved him asking her to “shake it” repeatedly. some other examples of him fawning over her (or just showing her off): him speaking candidly about his concern about her urinary incontinence, him documenting a walk they took together, him showing how she waits for him at home when he’s coming back from blue night, and showing off one of her many talents. these are all pretty old, but… some more recent examples include: him showing her contempt toward him for having to get her nails trimmed, cradling her like she’s the most precious thing on earth while calling her unattractive, her distracting him from the songwriting process (and getting “pissed” at him when he didn’t pay attention to her), her trying to charm minho, jonghyun showcasing how she “whines” when he gets home from work and she’s been “missing” him, and calling her an “attention seeker”. he mentions her a lot on blue night…, like… a lot, and there’s no doubt that half of the mentions are skipped over on being translated. he’s talked about how she cries when he gets home from work, but also how he “walks away” from him when he tries to “talk” to her about his day. he’s also spoken of her daily worries (because he’s apparently completely in tune with / aware of them), and about how he believes there’s a possibility that they dream the same dreams because they sleep next to each other nightly. tl;dr: jonghyun loves roo a lot. it’s intensely obvious. like…, he wrote a part of a song about her, so.

blue night radio ♡ 160707 jonghyun: i’m the type of person who likes staying at home. i don’t go out often, though my mom and sister go out together sometimes, and i’m envious of that. there was once … with boots. they bought some boots together and left me out and, when i came home after a radios how, i saw their pairs of boots right there in front of me. it was so cute …, anyway, it’s not like i’d wear the kind of boots that they bought anyway~. (source: cosmicsticks) [note: the boots that he’s referring to can be seen in this tweet that he made.]