Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

Please don’t hesitate

1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS… I see what you did there

(Don’t give me $599.99)

That’s not the right IRS rule.

$599.99 is the amount below which a business does not need to issue a 1099 to a contractor who provides business services. The contractor still needs to report the income on their taxes.

The correct number for the IRS rule for money that is gifted rather than received in a business transaction is $13999.99–more than that, and the recipient has to pay tax on the gift and report it to the IRS. Less than that, and there’s no taxation or reporting requirement.

If we’re choosing amounts on the basis of IRS limits, give these people $13,999.99. 

Go. Do it.

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $13,999.99

u know how the tail of a really little brand new kitten sticks right up in the air and how their bodies are kinda chubby

thats good 

FORGOT to provide Evidence

In Austria, we call kittens at that age “Autodromkatzerl”, which translates to “bumper car kittens”, because of the way their tail sticks up. It’s not a really common word, but a very cute one, I think

this is a genuinely delightful bit of knowledge, thank you for sharing this!! omg

More proof!!!!

omg bless this post

what does it mean when a guy says hi to you 

he’s lying

genuinely enjoying and being okay with watching someone play video games rather than playing it yourself is younger sibling culture.

Whole heartily agree

what can i say 😂

i cannot stop thinking about this

rb if you’re on the daily grind of trying to find a will to live

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

I’m horrified at myself because I randomly decided on 4:12AM for an obscure and horrible hour in the morning, but after I posted I glanced down at the clock and 

did i just vaguepost about myself

There are two things I love about this post: 

@magicmaika youre the friend

if we all marry and divorce jeff bezo we can singlehandedly distribute all of his wealth

Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Killed without hesitation

IN 2019 WE HEAL + WE THRIVE

Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.

Hairdresser: pretty simple

Me: this is chemistry

Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way

Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?

Me: apprentice

Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?

Me: I didn’t know that was a thing

Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.

Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator. 

Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?

Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs

Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen? 

Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer

Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?

Me: yeah

Hairdresser: while still in school?

Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases

Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine 

Me: oh thank god

Five Minutes Later

Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves

Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?

Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one

second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious

Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us

Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that

your hair is going to look incredible

OH I FORGOT. I SAW THE GREATEST CAR IN THE WORLD WHEN I WAS COMING BACK FROM THE JOB INTERVIEW I DID TODAY

I got the job I had interviewed for in this post and they started me at $13/hr and a guaranteed 20 hours a week thanks everyone for their support in the notes abt the job interview itself and no thanks to the people who said it was cursed

Reblog the X3 HEWWO car of career success. Reblog for a decent job

me @ my teeth when i eat something too cold

Me, while constantly chewing ice.

*spins my clothes in a wet metal tube then bakes them in a different metal tube to undo the wetness*

in literature this is called defamiliarization so congrats this post is officially a literary masterpiece  

In my house its called laundry! Thank you!

Three kinds of people

Im actually two of these people

Thanks

is this post a genuine thanks being thrown into the void? passive aggression towards someone who did them wrong? a short way of saying tom hanks? we may never know

I miss her feet so fucking much

make your own post

But it IS their post already?

thanks

There’s so much going on here.

Girls on Tumblr: “All I want is somebody to talk to”

Girls on Tumblr: “Ask me anything”

Girls on Tumblr: “Now accepting text buddy applications”

Me: *works up the courage to slide into the DM’s* Hi!

Girls on Tumblr: 

the man, the myth, the legend: Captain Raymond Holt