this is inexplicably my favorite tiktok ever it brings me to tears every time why did he do thatttt
Sorry if it’s a little cramped- had to make this all fit in ten photos. Hope you guys like it….. and again…. sorry Andrew
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The window visual did me in I’m wheezing
floralbambie
NO
I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.
did you know only 1 in 10,000 gar are golden colored? and that i love them sosososososo much? and its my dream pet?
A gar of gold… 42 garats…
That looks like 1 carrot to me
if i told you what rhis sounded ljke i dont think youd believe me so just listen
coffee-fr
Clean the mold out of your reusable water bottle including the cap and straw
Mold poisoning will kill you and has a high chance of causing severe hallucinations and nightmares while it's doing it. My final message goodbye
Oh, hey, yea that's a good reminder! Wait a second tho
A year or so ago I saw someone who studies bacteria on food surfaces talking about how she never ever uses a water bottle for longer than 2 days without washing it with hot water and soap or running it through the dishwasher and I've become really adamant about it ever since. Everyone has enough water bottles to keep them cycling through the dishwasher and in use.
Also please don't die.
Yup to all of this, but also, if you read this and went “lol, I have too much ADHD for that - do you know how many water bottles I would actually need to buy?”
I need you to listen closely, right now
Yes, you might, in fact, need to buy a mountain of water bottles
“But the plastic-”
There comes times when disability, sustainability best practices, and your health cannot co-exist
And you cannot stop being disabled
You might need to not only buy a mountain of water bottles, but also keep prepackaged single use water bottles for emergencies when every surface of your house is covered in reusable water bottles that haven’t been cleaned, and you find yourself asking “what’s the harm in using this one for one more day?” for the seventh day in a row
Or going “well, I’m not that thirsty anyway” and stopping drinking water altogether
Don’t make yourself ill holding yourself to standards you cannot meet
Well, this stopped me cold.
"There comes a time when disability, sustainability best practices, and your health cannot co-exist.
"And you cannot stop being disabled."
Like the guy said. Sometimes the things you need to do to heal might feel silly, but don’t let that stop you.
Heal yourself.
This is so beautiful and affirming.
sometimes i wish i had facial hair
like sexy stubble or something that would be so cool
perfect
im not coming back to tumblr i just needed to find this post in order to dunk on my younger self. you absolute baby buffoon. you dumbass
Just passed a group of teenage girls walking downtown.... wearing cargo pants and platform crocs.... nature really is healing......
Cannot stress enough that this is NOT a condemnation, this is genuine delight that young girls in my town have stopped dressing up like Kardashians and are finally just goofing around on summer break in comfortable shoes and funky graphic shirts.
15 year olds should not be worries about having a thigh gap, they should be trying on SpongeBob bucket hats at the pier and drinking twice their weight in corn syrup like hummingbirds
whoops
#when you set out for revenge dig two graves#unless you’re hamlet#in which case you’re going to want to rent a backhoe (x) YOU’RE NOT LEAVING THAT IN THE TAGS BUDDY
I love Lilo And Stitch bc even though it makes me sad David just goes and blames what he thinks is a normal dog for making things worse for Nani and Lilo and it’s constantly funny to me
gaymeowsy
YOU DID THIS
Just so we know just exactly David was dealing with.
It honestly never occurred to me that Stitch could have been mistaken for a French Bulldog by everyone
I really have been just accepting that Lilo’s cover story “Stitch used to be a collie ‘til he got run over” as the story everyone accepted.
yeah in David’s defense, “Nani’s chaotic little sister brought a dog home and then immediately dyed the poor thing bright blue” is not an unreasonable assumption
The band, the music, the dance.
puts on sound 📣🎶🎵
Ok, I NEED you to understand just how insane even ATTEMPTING this was for them.
1. Playing an instrument is difficult. Doing so in sync with others even more so. Don’t think I’m stepping on any toes saying that.
2. Dancing is difficult. Doing so in sync with others even more so. Still not controversial.
3. YOU AVOID, AT ALL COSTS, MOVING YOUR BODY WHILE PLAYING A WIND INSTRUMENT. To make the correct, pleasant sounds, you need to be in the correct form. And that form involves your ENTIRE body, even your legs when sitting down.
4. “oh, but I’ve seen marching bands before and-” MARCHING BANDS HAVE ENTIRE SCIENTIFIC FIELDS DEDICATED TO FIGURING OUT HOW TO MARCH WITH MINIMUM BREAKING OF PROPER FORM. A marching band tries to be as smooth as possible while moving, so as not to jar their instrument, mouth, neck, arms, torso, or anything else.These ladies and gentlemen are BOUNCING and still playing properly, what the FU-!
5. AND ANOTHER THING! Wind instruments and dancing BOTH make demands on your breathing, so the fact that they are dancing (making you breath faster for extra oxygen) AND playing wind instruments (making you effectively hold your breath) AT THE SAME TIME is HUGE. Their lungs must be MASSIVE.
All of that also; the song is Sing, sing, sing (with a swing). If you wanna listen to some of THE SPICIEST big band ever recorded. Its a big hard song and this band does it expertly.
Just watched a woman slather a whole jar of diced garlic on three huge salmon steaks and put on in each microwave at work
It’s going to smell hellacious later
It was so awful I had to work in another building for the rest if the day
Word is she left the fish and went back to her desk to pack up and quit
The stench was so awful they had to open all the doors which required bringing security from two other sites
Most of my department went home for the day
Holy SHIT
what a fucking power move, oh my god.
i am so sorry you had to deal with the olfactory fallout, but my GOD.
i am still so in awe of this woman.
Anonymous asked:
If none of them married, how desperate would the Bennett girls actually have been?
Well the only dowry they have is £50 apiece from their mother’s small inheritance, per year; so that’s a total of £250 generated by Mrs. Bennet’s inherited investments per annum.
The Dashwoods (four women) are living on £500 a year when they are forced to live in Barton Cottage (with good-will making the rent presumably ridiculously low thanks to Sir John Middleton’s good nature, to say nothing of all the dinners and outings he invites the ladies to, which will help them economize on housekeeping costs for heavier meals.)
So there would be six Bennet women left to live on half as much as the Dashwoods are barely scraping by on. £250 is roughly considered enough to keep ONE gentleman at a barely-genteel level of leisure (presuming he does not keep a horse or estate or have any major expenses beyond securing his own lodgings/clothes/meals at a level becoming of a gentleman.)
None of the Bennet girls have been educated well enough for them to be governesses to support themselves, so…yes, their situation would heavily rely on mega-charity from others to just help them survive, much less maintain them in the lifestyle they’ve been accustomed to. The Dashwood women have NO social life beyond the outings provided by Sir John and the offer of Mrs. Jennings to host the older girls in London–otherwise they’d be stuck in their cottage, meeting absolutely no eligible men, creating a cycle of being poor and unmarried and too poor to meet anyone with money they could marry.
If the Bennet girls don’t at least have ONE of them marry well enough to help the rest before their father dies, they are really, truly, deeply fucked.
They may joke about beautiful Jane being the saviour of the family, but…it’s true. Mr. Bennet failed his daughters several times over in A) presuming he’d have a son, B) not saving money independently from his income to support his family after his death when it became clear he wasn’t going to have a son, C) not educating them well enough to enable them to support themselves in even in the disagreeable way of being a governess, D) not making any effort to escort his daughters to London or even local assemblies to help their matrimonial chances because he just doesn’t feel like it, E) throwing up his hands and shrugging when faced with the crises of Mr. Collins and Wickham.
Much as we are relieved on a romantic level that Mr. Bennet’s support of Elizabeth saves her from parental pressure to accept Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet is NOT A DICK for pushing for the match, because on a material level it very much means they get to KEEP THEIR HOUSE and gain a connection to the powerful patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh, which could be VERY advantageous for the other unmarried girls.
And the scandal of Wickham very nearly scuppers the chances of ANY of the other girls, and Wickham is a further DRAIN on the family finances, not a man who is going to substantially be able to support them. It is SUCH a disaster, and of course there’s not much Mr. Bennet can do until they are found, but he’s away in London and doing…what, exactly? Mr. Gardiner takes over and manages everything and Mr. Bennet seems happy to just let him.
Mr. Bennet does the ABSOLUTE LEAST, and actively damages his children’s futures by his inaction AND by his one action to support Lizzie’s individual needs being prioritized over the collective gain, which…I mean, Lizzie is going to be JUST as homeless and destitute as her sisters when he dies, so much good being Dad’s Favourite is going to do her. :/
£50 is around £4200 now, so about £21,000 for 6 women to live on today for the Bennets.
The Dashwoods at £500/year are at about £42,000 for 4 women to live on today.
Mr bennet definitely messed up, and mrs b deserves way more respect for the immense amount of pressure she’s under
I wrote an entire essay about this my last year of school, and my teacher thought I had lost the plot. He was my most hated teacher for other reasons, and this did not help his case.
I am Here for the Mrs. Bennet Defense Squad. Yes, she can be unsubtle in a major way, but she is also terrified of the alternative outcome. However, for all her lack of tact, she is also hella strategic, as demonstrated by setting up an “oh no I’m stuck in your house” romance trope situation for Jane and Bingley. She’s a clever lady, and she sees exactly what kind of shitty situation they’re in, and she can’t get her husband to do anything.
It’s really easy to read Mrs. Bennet’s inability to be subtle about anything as a sign of stupidity or inability to understand “society” (and the Bingley sisters are inclined to do this and link it to her very middle-class family because of classism) but she is literally panicking at all times about a very real concern, and everyone is just rolling their eyes. No compassion for her poor nerves indeed!
Ok so I started to scroll by. But the problem with the Mrs. Bennet discourse is that it can too quickly swing too far in the wrong direction. Yes, everything about this is (mostly) true. The Bennet women are in a really delicate position. Their safety and continued financial security hangs on Mr. Bennet’s faintest breath. It is in fact a conversation point several times that the girls are not educated enough to serve as governesses, but are of too high a social status to expect marriage to a tradesman.
The problem is that while Mrs. Bennet is certainly the only one in the Bennet household taking this issue seriously, she’s also gone too far in the opposite direction. The point of the Bennet marriage is that it’s bad for both of them. Mr. Bennet married a beautiful, foolish woman and then didn’t live according to the economy he would have had to in order to leave her a tidy sum once he died. Mrs. Bennet held herself safe under the happy expectation that she would produce a son, who would inherit the estate and provide for her in her own age.
Once it became clear that wouldn’t happen (and remember Lydia is only fifteen when the book opens, so Mrs. Bennet might only have given up the idea that she would have a son possibly a decade before, when Jane was about twelve) Mrs. Bennet had to focus on her daughters’ marriages in order to ensure the family’s well-being. The problem is that she overcompensated beyond what the society she lives in found good form.
Mrs. Bennet is a foolish, vain, nervous woman who is often called out in the narrative as an older woman with Lydia’s naturally foolish and selfish character. Her husband long ago realized he’d someone for looks who he was incompatible with personality-wise. The readers (especially modern readers) see his neglect of family affairs readily, and his gentle (and at times less than gentle) mockery of his family (particularly his wife and his three youngest daughters). But importantly, Mrs. Bennet also is meant to come across as a lesson to the reader. A silly woman who married above her station (it’s mentioned several times she secured the better marriage compared to her own sister) Mrs. Bennet doesn’t have the social graces she should have been expected to, as her husband’s wife.
This is an important plot point. Raising Mrs. Bennet up as the only Bennet aware of their impending doom as Mr. Bennet ages is important and adds depth to her matrimonial scheming on her daughters’ behalves. But vitally the way she goes about her work causes Mr. Darcy to hold the greatest of disdain for her and her family. It’s that disdain that helps induce him to persuade Mr. Bingley to leave Netherfield Park. This isn’t truly questioned by Elizabeth, who understands that her mother’s over-eager grasping immediately raised Mr. Darcy’s concerns. Remember, at this time there was an abundance of women who were deliberately setting out to marry men of good fortune, and desperate to make themselves amiable enough to secure that marriage, regardless of their true feelings. Mr. Darcy (and honestly Mr. Bingley too should have known better) would have spent his entire later youth and then adulthood on the alert for women whose intentions were only for his wealth, and not for his happiness. That’s important, especially after we see the great care Mr. Darcy takes with Pemberly and his dependents.
Mrs. Bennet’s desperation is understandable. Her character (grasping, foolish, too needy and nervous to understand the social graces she must display to appear acceptable to men of the station she wants her daughters to marry) isn’t virtuous. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are intended by the narrative to stand as examples for what happens when people who are not of similar or compatible characters marry. Mr. Bennet grew so disillusioned with his wife that his reaction to his family’s financial insecurity is to make jokes and wave his wife’s concerns away as foolishness. He’s not really concerned with the future of his female family members. Mrs. Bennet on the other hand, doted on for her beauty then ignored and trivialized after that beauty lost it’s attraction, is left to indulge her worst impulses as she tries to snap up eligible young men for her daughters. Importantly, Mr. Wickham easily fools her as to his true character, even after he runs off with her daughter.
While we look at Mrs. Bennet’s desperation and find it both pitiable and understandable, that doesn’t mean that she’s the better person in the marriage. These two people could have been better than who they became as they aged. The problem is that in their youth they found a spouse who wasn’t compatible with them, and their own character deficiencies were magnified in the marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are intended as a warning to the reader over marrying for shallow reasons (beauty for him, money for her). Character matters in a marriage, as does mutual compatibility.
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
🤭🤭🤭
can't believe that the entire premise of this children's cartoon show is "a 14-year-old boy died in a machinery accident, except he didn't fully die so now he can turn into a ghost and he uses his ghost powers to be a superhero. He cannot reveal his identity to anyone, because his parents are ghost hunters and he's afraid that if they found out then they'd experiment on him. The only people who know his secret are his two closest friends. All of this information is conveyed as a funky rap at the start of every episode." like how fucked up is that?!?