So is caleb a fulltime wizard buster now, or is he still teaching at the soltrice academy? Cause if he is, the speculation among his students has got to be fucking insane. Like imagine if every single time your nerdy, soft spoken, beanpole of a calc professor went on a two month leave of absence, another high profile war criminal gets thrown in jail. I would be losing my mind.
hello my foul little beasties, i am taking a (hopefully brief) hiatus to deal with some health & personal issues. in the meantime here are some terrible awful no good wholesome fun facts i've been meaning to share:
- bone china is called bone china bc yes it contains bones!
- i'm not saying that autistic bees exist but autistic bees exist
- for 15 years sweden thought russian submarines were invading its waters; it turned out to be herrings farting
- cows have regional accents
- sometimes massive fields of ice eggs wash up on beaches. literally just ice shaped like eggs. that is a thing that sometimes happens and i derive joy from this peculiar world
*a shriveled claw extends from the barren soil* hello my wretched lovelies, i have once again tunneled my way out of containment! i am returned to you like a long lost lover...like a faithful and persistent fungal infection. you're welcome!
i am delighted to report (in no particular order) that i do NOT have cancer, i have finally gone no contact with my transphobic parents, I am receiving a Good Grade in Therapy (from my nice new therapist), and steady progress has been made on the Big Shiny Mystery Project i will be shoving down your throats circa 2024.
and now let's ease back into our regularly scheduled shitposting with some more super wholesome fun facts!
- the collective nouns for clowns include "trunkload"
- at one point in history, billiard balls would occasionally explode during a game. tragically this was discontinued and sports have been going downhill ever since.
- given the opportunity, butterflies will happily drink spilled blood
- which is fine and totally less concerning than the fact some spiders nurse their young
- and whilst we're on the subject of dedicated parents: adult wasps can't eat the food they feed their larvae...because their waists are too small to digest solids
- last and also least: picture a kangaroo in your head.
- (go on, picture it. 3D rotate it in your mind. the kangaroo is a Shrinky Dink, a perfect stationary image melting in the centrifugal microwave of your mind's eye...)
- are you picturing the kangaroo?
- INCORRECT that is a WALLABY
there's construction happening outside and i woke up this morning, hazily thought "goddammit the wizards are fighting again," and rolled over and went back to sleep
oh good tags: #one time I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a shadowy figure standing in front of my window. I didn't pay it any mind and instead decided to roll over and fall back asleep. later on in the morning did I find out that the figure was in actuality my step-dad coming to close my cracked open window. pretty crazy to think about how it could have been some creep who had come to murder me in my sleep and I straight up didn't care. #come to bring my life to a grizzly end in the dead of night? #alright! #just give me five more minutes thx
more good and deeply concerning stories from the notes!
#once there was a house fire at the house next to us and it was QUICKLY spreading, and I tried to wake my sister up so we could evacuate our house. and she said "wake me up when it becomes an issue" and went back to sleep. #i…
#our house was fine. the house next door burned totally to the ground
#fun fact once i woke up in the middle of the night#and i could have sworn i heard some guy climbing up the brick walls of our house#thought i was dreamin#went back to sleep#next morning the house was robbed and nobody had any idea how he got in-- windows all closed#doors still locked#but i know in my heart of hearts he came down the chimney
fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out
Shit this is great! You can get so much done if you don't sleep!
THE CONSEQUENCES
chaotic evil ending of the rhodey skrull plot: he comes out of the coma and we find out he's been replaced for years, he doesn't even know tony is dead
chaotic good ending: the skrull coma prevented him from being effected by strange's spell so when he wakes up he's like WHERE is tony's problem child
Just finished reading a letter from my friend Jonathan Harker, I hope he has a nice time during his trip abroad. Doesn't seem too eventful so hopefully it's a nice relaxing stay :)
I feel like the only person not tempted to use ChatGPT like it doesn't even occur to me as an option
Anyway shoutout to the person next to me who just got GPT to do their whole essay. I know you're in the trenches.
A fun way to get yourself to do chores when you have adhd is to simulate a sense of panic by setting horrible deadlines that fit into other things that you’re doing.
For example, you set up a kettle of water to boil for your tea. Quick! Wipe down the whole counter before it’s done boiling, for the love of god you’re running out of time! Wipe it down! The water is almost boiling.
The water is boiling and your counter is clean. Now set your timer for your tea for three minutes and of my god there’s cups in your room! Quick! Get all the cups from everywhere in the house! Run! You’ve only got three minutes! Get all the dishes into the kitchen!
Oh would you look at that. You got all the dishes in the sink and now your tea is ready. Nice. Now you can chill with your tea.
I’ve found that little stuff like that helps me. Forcing myself into unexpected last minute deadlines. It fills up empty space and my house is a little bit cleaner.
I HATE that I know this works- legit heating something up in the microwave? Rushing to put everything away before it goes off because there is something satisfying about beating it and you feel accomplished.
So I tried this, and I'm genuinely shocked that it worked???
Like, I'm overjoyed that I found a way to do chores without minutes of trying to force myself, but it actually worked??? What kind of sorcery is this???
[ID: The “It’s Free Real Estate” meme except it’s edited to say “It’s Free Deadline”. End ID]
whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him
girls will have one (1) good day when they convince themselves they've never been unwell in their life and the next day the horrors will return
some of yall are lying, i know not all of you were "a pleasure to have in class"
I'm proud to have been a displeasure to have in class.