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Manu

@deadpuppiesunite

When you roll a nat 20 dexterity save against an attack:

Gif by @gifsme

There’s several reasons I love this gif:

1. The WTF reaction by the ref

2. The dude who escapes looks like an Irish boxer from the 1800′s

3. Who’s also gay sassy (I mean those trunks and that hand flick)

4. The other wrestler just holds his arms in the same position while he’s looking dumbfounded at the gay sassy wrestler and then the audience and back

you know what? accents are actually lovely. like you can learn all the languages in the world and you still have a part of your own with you. that’s cute

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updatebug

Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.

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tumblunni

Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues

NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.

God I wish Vincent van Gogh was alive to see this

That sentiment is so sweet and pure.

Source: trasemc

I hate it when I say “suck my dick” and people say “oH bUt yOu DoN’t hAvE a DiCk” you fools. Blithering idiots. I mean my soul dick. My metaphorical penis. I don’t have a physical penis protruding from my body but the aura is there. Suck my spirit dick, peasant.

That’s it, the Professor is truly the King of Sass

The letter didn’t come from the Nazi party, but from the publishing house which had expressed an interest in the German translation of The Hobbit. Tolkien’s response really is a thing of beauty, though, so it deserves to be quoted in its entirety:

25 July 1938                                              20 Northmoor Road, Oxford

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your letter. … I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject - which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearings whatsoever on the merits of my work or its suitability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.

I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and remain yours faithfully

J.R.R. Tolkien.

(Letter 30)

The Hobbit wasn’t published in German until 1957.

This might just be the politest “fuck you” ever written.

W.h.a.t.

Not just “I wish I had Jewish ancestors, but I don’t,” but also “you do realize that’s not what ‘Aryan’ actually means, right,” and “you guys are making it pretty hard to be proud of my German heritage.”

Nazis: Are you Aryan?

Noted linguistics freak Tolkien: Are you?

We still got folks saying Punch Nazis in 2019… y'all better shoot or stab them hoes and carry on with your day