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Hot Girl Sam

@deadbythemorning

Going through my tumblr phase again

i'm both dumber and smarter than you think so don't underestimate me because i'm actually smart about a lot of stuff but also don't be surprised if i'm dumb about some other stuff hope that helps

“To Make a Long Story Short”

Stephen Andrade’s wonderful pulp-style tribute to Clue (1985)

Prints and original artwork available at nineteeneightyeight.com or through @galleries1988 on Instagram :)

honestly we do not talk enough about how ashley williams (evil dead franchise) was such a pioneer of the genre that completely altered the blueprint for male heroes to come. not only did he help progress the “grimy man covered in blood and dirt” look but he is arguably one of the most recognizable horror protagonists. his entire personality was an unconventional take. he screamed and cried and ran but then somewhere along the way he decided that the monsters weren’t his problem, he was the monsters problem. he got a sawed off shotgun and gave himself a chainsaw hand and charged into the thick of it becoming an honorary final girl & looked slutty (constantly one tit out) doing it. pour one out for him 

The Devil Inside Me
Thirty years have passed since the Great War of Hogwarts, and that meant a new era of students. Hogwarts along with its students were more more advanced. But with greater technology and stronger defenses, came even stronger enemies. But this time the enemies come from within, choices that could either prevent another war or be the reason they all fall from the darkness.
I’ve done a few bad things in my life
“Avada Kedavra!”
Okay… a lot of bad things

Chapter One: Year 1

It didn’t make sense to Lani how she was sorted into Hufflepuff. She didn’t fit in with the others, they were… friendly, well liked.

People tried speaking with Lani, but it never lasted long. They said she radiated bad energy, which she couldn’t argue with, bad things always tended to happen around her.

“Alani Edwards?” She slowly raised her hand up

Maybe I’d make a better Slytherin. Maybe that old hat needs to be put in retirement

“Alani right?” Her big brown eyes met cool gray ones

“Lani”

The platinum blonde nodded while taking a seat next to her “I’m Arden” she held out her hand for her to shake but Lani didn’t bother “Right…well I’m your potions partner for the semester”

Arden Richmond was probably the most outgoing Slytherin she had ever met. At first she assumed she were a Gryfindor in Slytherin robes.

Maybe you don’t get sorted based on personality

Arden was very talkative. Although Lani kept silent for most of class, Arden made it very clear that she was going to voice her thoughts whether she answered or not.

Lani watched from her peripherals as Arden began adding more and more ingredients to their potion and quickly slapped her hand away.

Arden looked at the girl in bewilderment and Lani slid her potions book over to her “However, adding dragon scales to the potion too early can cause the cauldron to erupt” she read from the book “The only thing that can cancel out the reactive dragon scales is snake venom”

“Great job Miss Edwards!” Their professor told them “Fifty points to Hufflepuff for actually reading the book”

As the teacher walked away, Arden turned to Lani with crossed arms “How did you know that?” She questioned “Snake venom isn’t listed in the ingredients”

Lani shrugged her shoulders “I was just reading about the properties of each ingredient”

“So we’re meant to fail?” Lani quirked a brow “I mean, I doubt anyone else was smart enough to read something in the back of the book”

As if in cue, cauldrons all around the room began overflowing and exploding thick sticky liquid “Welcome to your first year in potions!” The teacher yelled with excitement

“I guess so”

One thing about Lani was that she liked peace and quiet. She was an orphan so she never had the chance to be by herself or read a book in silence.

When she got the news that she was a witch, she was beyond excited to leave that wretched orphanage, even if it was only for a school year. That’s another reason why she didn’t mind that people didn’t like talking to her.

Except Arden

Lani liked to think that Arden was a special case. While most people rolled their eyes at her pessimistic views and sarcastic comments, it seemed as if it drew Arden in even more.

The blonde would go out of her way to eat lunch with her, invite her to her quidditch games, and even sit in the library in absolute silence to be around her.

Well… not complete silence

“So what are you doing this winter break?” Arden asked while laying her head down on the table

“I’ll be here” Lani replied without looking up from her book “Studying and practicing new spells”

Arden pouts “That’s lame” she played with the edges of Lani’s book “You don’t want to be home for Christmas?”

“Unlike you who has a loving family” her cold brown eyes looked down at her soft gray ones “I’m an orphan. So holidays aren’t the best experience for me”

Arden slowly sat up “I didn’t know, I’m sorry”

“Yeah, most people are” she mutters and Arden looks as if a lightbulb just flashed above her head

“Why don’t you spend the holidays with me and my family?”

“No” she replied all too quickly

Arden’s face fell to a pout “Well why not?”

“I barely know you and you want me to spend a week with just you and your family?”

The blonde quickly nodded “It’ll be a great way for us to bond” Lani rolled her eyes and as if luck was on her side, the bell rang “Well let me know if you change your mind” she told her as she stood up “I’m off to practice”

Lani never changed her mind, she liked being alone. Besides, there were so many spells for her to learn, she couldn’t possibly wait until she graduated to learn some of these.

This included sneaking into the restricted section and looking at spell books that were way beyond her level of experience. It also meant receiving detention for trespassing.

If they didn’t want me in there, they wouldn’t have an entire section of restricted books for the students to read

Lani rolled her eyes as she scribbled on her parchment. She couldn’t practice the new spells she learned but she could at least study them.

Some spells required pure emotion for you to properly perform. Like the patronus. Lani lightly scoffed.

Need to think of a genuine memory of when you were the most happy? Yeah, not gonna happen.

But then there was the killing curse. You had to mean it.

Obviously if you wanted to use the killing curse on someone, you had to genuinely want them dead

It was easier said than done though. She couldn’t imagine wanting to kill someone or feeling genuine hatred.

It’s been proven that the only thing that can challenge the killing curse is..true love? Lani scoffed while shaking her head. How corny

She couldn’t imagine feeling anything, love or hatred…maybe confusion though

The next morning Lani woke up to a single present on her bed. Yes it was Christmas but who would possibly get her something?

From Arden…of course

Lani tore the wrapping paper off and admired the giant book in front of her. It was a spell book written by a famous aurora which discussed which spells could be most beneficial in a fight.

She shrugged her shoulders

It wasn’t completely useless, she also figured that it wouldn’t hurt to skim over a couple of pages.

“Miss Edwards, care to join the class?” Lani looked up from her books and at Professor Dorian

“Reading will only get you so far” she tells the class “I’m a firm believer that we should be practicing and experiencing real duels to put our spells to feel how our spells work outside the textbook” she then smiled at Lani “Miss Edwards, I’d like you to duel with Mr Thomas”

Of course I get called on when I only have twenty pages left..

The boy scoffed “You want ME to duel a Hufflepuff?”

“It won’t be as easy as you think” Arden whispers as Lani slowly stood from her spot

“What? You expect me to be afraid of some loser?” The blonde smirked as Professor Dorian cleared the room and created a table for them to stand on.

“Alright you two” Professor Dorian told them “You’ll be demonstrating simple spells like expelliarmis and the basic attack we just learned”

“I’ll make it easy for you” Colin told her but Lani rolled her eyes

“Kick his ass Lani!” Arden cheered which made Professor Dorian quickly whip around

“Language Miss Richmond” with a small huff, she turned back to the two students “On my marks, you may begin” Colin didn’t bother to wait, he immediately flicked his wand with the intention to hurt Lani

“Protego!” The entire class awed at the protection bubble she conjured

“Protego?” Colin’s face scrunched in disgust “When did we learn that?”

“Stupify!” She blasted at the boy and even though he was completely out of it, she wanted to knock him down a few pegs. After blasting him with a few basic attacks, he nearly fell off the table “Accio!” The boy flew towards her and she continued to blast the common sense out of him “Flippendo!” She finished the boy off as he did back flips through the air and crashed onto the floor below

“Miss Edwards!” Professor Dorian ran to Colin’s side “You were informed to only use the dissarming spell” Colin on the other hand couldn’t even form a proper sentence or walk in a straight line “Fifteen points from Hufflepuff and detention after school!”

Lani immediately stormed out the classroom once the bell rang so she could attend yet another undeserved detention.

“Reading will only get you so far” she quietly mocked while opening her book back up. That was the first time she had actually performed the spells.

Why do I need to be here when I can teach myself everything?

She felt annoyed

The only reason she wanted to be here is because it was better than being stuck in the cramped orphanage

“Psst” Lani scrunched her eyebrows together as she tried to focus on her book “PSST!” Seeing as she was the only person in detention right now, she could only imagine that someone was trying to get her attention. She turned her head to the door to see a familiar head of blonde hair. Of course it’s Arden “Come on” Arden whispered as she motioned for her to sneak out. Anywhere is better than here. With a quick look to the left and right, Lani quickly snuck out the room “I can’t believe Dorian gave you detention” she quickly shook her head “It’s complete bull shit! She’s just upset that you’re more advanced than he was…that cocky little shit” the two continued down the lone hallway, carefull not to run into any prefects “That was badass by the way” she gushed “Colin has annoyed me all year but I’ve never had the courage to shut him up”

“Why did you give me that spell book?” Lani quickly asked while crossing her arms

Arden shrugged her shoulders “You seem to be really good with magic so I figured you’d want to learn a few more advanced spells”

Why would she do that? “Well if you’re expecting something in return, you can have the book back”

Arden quickly shook her head “It’s a gift, I don’t want anything in return”

“Good” Lani huffed “Because you’re not getting anything”

This is stupid. Lani told herself as she browsed a small shop in Hogsmead. What would Arden even want?

There weren’t many stores open this late in Hogsmead, so her options were very limited.

Maybe a love potion? That seems girly enough for her

She then shook her head. What would she even need a love potion for?

She watched as a tiny lizard crawled around in the jar. Maybe I could get her a gecko

She shook her head again. You can’t get a lizard without the proper habitat

She rolled her eyes as she made her way towards a bookshelf. Arden didn’t seem like the type to read books, she refused to read their potions book, but all she needed was something small to get out of her debt.

Lani read the titles of each book carefully before taking it off the shelf “If it’s the last thing I do!” Her ears immediately perked up “Why should we have to obey by their rules just to keep muggles happy?” Lani pushed the books apart to get a look at who was talking “All we gotta do is kill that damn girl and it’ll be smooth sailing from there” the man was on the phone talking to who, was the question but she knew from the sounds of it, she didn’t need to be listening “Edwards” the man nodded “Once she’s gone, the fall of Hogwarts will begin”

I almost feel like I shouldn’t be listening to this conversation

Lani planned to make her silent escape except the floor boards loudly announced her presence once she took a step back.

Shit shit shit shit shit

She held her hand over her face and held her breath

It’s okay, he didn’t hear it

The room was absolutely silent, she couldn’t even hear his breathing

I’m fine…I’ll be okay

Within an instant, he appeared right in front of her and she felt nothing but pure fear “PLEASE” she begged “Please don’t do anything! I did nothing” but that didn’t stop the man from pulling out his wand. Lani quickly ran out of the shop and began screaming in hopes someone would hear her pleas for help.

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” Lani looked beside her to see a stray dog go limp “STOP RUNNING”

“SOMEBODY HELP ME!” She screamed while banging on doors and knocking on windows

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” Lani quickly jumped behind a building while another innocent animal died

She tried her hardest to focus to search her brain for any spell she could use against him. She could barely hear his footsteps, only her heart thumping on her chest. With a shaky breath, she pulled out her wand and waited until was close enough to strike “DIFFINDO”

The man held his bloody chest and began shaking with rage “ILL FUCKING KILL YOU!”

I’ve done a few bad things in my life

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” A green bolt shot out of her wand and in an instant, the man fell to the ground

Okay… a lot of bad things

Lani threw her wand to the side as if it burned her palm and held her mouth to stop her whimpering

But never would I have thought that I would kill someone at the age of twelve