i need friends that want to go to the library with me & want to go to the aquarium with me & want to play board games with me & want to sit in silence with me & want to go grocery shopping with me & want to kiss me & want to live forever with me

flat fuck friday

you know what day it is

queued this because I did NOT want to miss another Flat Fuck Friday

flat fuck friday

you know what day it is

queued this because I did NOT want to miss another Flat Fuck Friday

I saw that picture of Joe Biden finding two coins on the ground again today. His face in it is so haunting man I have no idea what emotion he’s experiencing

Just pure rapture

what now, son? what are you going to do now? im here to tell you that ive taken your tokens. i have both of your tokens, boy, and you know where im going to take them? two words: skee ball. you don’t even know how powerful i am, you don’t even know the powers i possess with this two piece of silver. ancient magic, son. ancient magic- don’t mess with ancient magic, or you’ll get the horns. just an old phrase from back in scranton. jill get in the car

why is it always the fancylad boy-king type whos the bottom. maybe his tough loyal knight who uses his body to protect and defend him and lives to serve him wants to get railed

maybe i just like it when masc dudes with scars and calluses and a devotion complex bigger than the moon get topped by troubled prettyboys with hands thatve never worked a day in their life. who said that

Thank you for your work soldier 🫡

villain rule

@musashi

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

society's infantilization of decorated objects is honestly one of the greatest recent crimes against humans' innate desire for beauty

"the toothbrush/hairbrush/bike/vanity desk with flowers on it is For Kids! this plain beige one is For Adults!"

I am literally throwing you into a volcano

Cat: water form

touching grass isn't enough some of y'all need to drive out to the countryside and look at the stars

this post was aimed at the discourse-addled and terminally online, but i'm glad it's reaching an audience of people who are just excited about stargazing in general

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

sometimes a bug will clean its antenna or a bird will itch its feathers with its little feet or a kitty will blink its little eyes at you and then youll feel so overwhelmed with love for the world you cant even stand it

dancing with a gentle giant, the whale shark | source

laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!

i trusted you

Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

i love digesting lactose it’s so easy to do

"connect your contacts so you can find people you know in our app" what if i flayed myself in front of you