i want to kiss you and take cute pictures with you and go on stupid dates but I also want tO DESTRYO YOU AT MAR IO KART

— (via purplebuddhaquotes)

i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word

dude/babe it’s the same thing

so did u like my post because it was funny or do u wanna date me i need answers

I don’t really want my relationship to be like romantic as fuck all the time. Like yo I need a girl that’s gonna surprise attack me with water guns or lay around in the same pair of our pajamas we’ve worn the past three days eating pizza and playing grand theft auto. Don’t get me wrong the romantic shit is nice but I enjoy being weird and wild together too.

when I grow up I hope I have a really cool bathtub

heard some guy in barnes and noble today say “i can’t stand adult fiction they’re all like ‘i’m getting a divorce’” 

*talks about u behind ur back but in a supportive way about how cool u are and how much i love u*

Gotta make em laugh so they forget you ugly

I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities 

Do no harm but take no shit

DO NO HARM BUT TAKE NO SHIT

me: how am i? really? as if u care lmao. im so SICK of small talk,. i want someone who asks about my day and MEANS it, wipes my tears and tells me im beautiful without make up on, but all boys do is lie.maybe love wasn’t made for people like me

walmart employee: ma'am,

I’m that one who waits for you to tie your shoe while the others keep going