My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

Dadrius Week  Free Space

@sergeantsporks

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

get spooky

how does this appear every june

T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

it’s june

T I M E T O G E T S P O O K I N G Y’ A L L

LEE IT’S JUNE

GAY HALLOWEEN TIME

y’all know what fuckin month it is 😎

An observation.

Golden Retrivers with Badass Girlfriend - Said by @thehuntingpxrty

cute gnome-wizard for @vivi-bel

so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all

WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO

it is the chosen one

it must be the main character in the anime

It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture.

“In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…”

Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up

at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny

then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier

HOLY SH-

I’m not anti-technology, I just think there’s something deeply sick about a society where robots make art and children work in factories.

The golf links lie so near the mill That almost every day The laboring children can look out And see the men at play.

(Sarah Norcliffe Cleghorn, c. 1910.)

Plus ça change.

simon: i need an advice

edgin: really? with what?

simon: with love. how did you know you were in love with xenk?

edgin:

edgin: i'm in love with xenk?

simon:

simon: are you fucking kidding me

Long distance relationships are hard n Rocket missed his boyfriend so much

crazy that in the 1970s they were like, "fine, women can play sports. but because they're innately less athletic than men, only in a special ghettoized League For The Frail And Delicate where they get paid less 😊". And not only is that still the system in 2023, but viciously lashing out at the smallest challenges to that system gets framed as Feminist Praxis

even setting aside the fact that gendered bodytype averages aren't universals, and plenty of individual (cis) women and (cis) men could easily go to toe to toe. have we considered that the fact that all the most prominent and well-paid sports are ones that require things like Being Tall and Having Muscle Mass, as opposed to, ex, gymnastics...is itself an artifact of sexism

also to people who are like "well do you think WOMEN should be playing AMERICAN FOOTBALL against MEN" actually I don't think anyone should be playing american football on account of, you know, the irreversible brain damage.

I DON'T THINK ANYONE SHOULD BE PLAYING AMERICAN FOOTBALL on account of, you know, the IRREVERSIBLE BRAIN DAMAGE.

CONTEXT

“Resurrection”

This is what plays in my head every minute of every day.

Idk why but the girl with her arms up in the air like that is so annoying. please just follow the choreo

nobody asked but in context, she believes she’s literally responsible for holding up the sky

Aw fuck yeah. I take it back, keep your arms up girl I appreciate your hard work

I worked very hard on this

hey uh what exactly is possessing you people to reblog a nearly 10 year old shrek meme that I made in high school

Your hard work isn’t going unnoticed

Science Penguin [x]

i enjoy that every single human’s reaction to penguin is unrestrained delight

And penguins lack large terrestrial predators, so their reaction to humans tends to be, “HELLO STRANGE GIANT PENGUINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY FISH?”

SO HAPPY TO SEE SCIENCE PENGUIN ON MY DASH.