God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

@sineala

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

actual footage of first contact makeouts

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job 

shane madej giving the gays everything we want

When someone mentions a show you’ve been obsessing over, but you have to act cool about it.

"people who would fight the entire world for each other but complain and call each other stupid fucking idiots about it the entire time" is the ultimate relationship dynamic

That’s the good stuff right there

Star Trek Make me choose:

↳ @micky-has-a-fez asked: make me choose: spot or porthos

This is the Ferengi post of fortune

reblog to receive a hundred bars of Gold Pressed Latinum this week, ignore to go to the Vault of Eternal Destitution

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?” 

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes. 

Do good recklessly.

I think “Do good recklessly” would be fantastic word art to hang on one’s wall. Artistic people, go!

So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasn’t a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said “Ring up all of it.” My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She could’ve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She could’ve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But I’ll tell y’all, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.

DO BETTER. BE BETTER. STRIVE TO BE BETTER.

DO GOOD RECKLESSLY

One time, my dad and I were living the grocery store and there was a guy outside asking for money to buy some stuff to take home for his kids. It was around Christmas time. My dad asked him if he could give him groceries instead of money, and the guy immediately said yes, so my dad gave him one of everything we bought (meat, rice, some chocolates, milk, oil). At that time, my dad hadn’t gotten his paycheck because the company he worked for was going through a tough time, but he didn’t care, he saw an opportunity to help someone and he did.

Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that “whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”.

I never forget that.

Can we make Do good recklessly The slogan on 2019

Do Good Recklessly

Because if anything this is the year we need it more than ever.

Do Good Recklessly 2021.

I wrote my own post about a similar experience, but, I’ll share it here too. This past week I found out the hard way that someway, somehow, I screwed my finances up bad enough that I literally only had $92 to my name. Aside from my mom and one friend of mine, no one knew about this. The next day I was at work and out of the blue a co-worker from 1st shift came up and handed me two sub sandwiches that had been given out earlier that day, that I didn’t get a chance to get since I work 2nd shift. That day? I only had only brought 1 small thing to eat for lunch because I didn’t have the money to buy anything else. To have this person come out of the blue and hand me two sandwiches was a literal lifesaver. The next night, I was hungry enough that I decided screw it, I’d buy a bottle of ice tea and a cupcake from the breakroom. But as I stood there staring at the two items, trying to decide if I should really spend the money on them or not, a pair of hands came into my line of sight, took the two things from me and set them down with their own stuff to pay for. A friend from a different shift had seen me looking torn about whether to get them or not and decided for me by buying them (and the last cupcake) for me. Being so scared about buying even the smallest thing is not a fun feeling. But two people who had no idea of my situation helping me when I needed it? That nearly brought me to tears. 

Please, make Do Good Recklessly your mantra for 2021. You never know when someone might be wondering if they have enough money to eat/ are worth spending the money on to eat. 

thinking about how jonathan frakes thought riker should have kissed a man in the no gender alien episode. and andrew robinson playing garak so gay they had to write less scenes with him and dr bashir. and multiple other instances of cast/crew/writers wanting to have gay characters and stories and repeatedly being told no by showrunners and producers. it makes me so sad for everyone who missed out on telling or seeing lgbt stories on a show that was supposed to push boundaries. im just thinking about it.

Does your starship pass Starfleet Regulation? You must have:

thought this scene could use some background music

In happier headcanons…

please join me for Why Damar Is Definitely Alive and Not Dead

-Earlier it seems Garak would prefer Damar as leader of Cardassia (see the “Yeah, what kind of people Damar” scene).

-The person holding Damar when he dies, the person who establishes he’s dead, is Garak, who is known to lie. Particularly when it suits his purposes.

-Why the heck would Damar be wearing civilian clothing, rather than armor, when planning to charge a command post defended by many Jem’Hadar? Particularly if Garak wanted him to be alive.

-Damar’s death galvanizes the remaining Cardassian resistance, giving them the motivation that helps them overrun the Dominion. If he was only wounded, that would have slowed them down, or led them to leave a man behind with him.

-Damar, Garak and Kira have been hiding out at Enabran Tain’s house, the house of the head of the Obsidian Order

-Obsidian Order personnel are almost never shown wearing armor

-Garak is a tailor, and actually a very good one

Which leads me to my central idea here. The Obsidian Order may never wear armor, but like heck they are ever gonna walk into a situation without protection from stray phaser blasts. Contrary to opinions of certain beta canon authors, Cardassians are not stupid, and the Obsidian Order would likely invest in the tech to protect themselves - while retaining their civilian appearance.

Obsidian Order civilian suits have protection against phaser blasts worked into them. And of course, Tain had plenty of these - and probably had more stashed around his house. Garak could easily modify some of them to fit himself and Damar. He doesn’t tell Damar about any of this because he knows that Damar would have objections to wearing Tain’s old clothing, to wearing anything associated with the Obsidian Order, and to the idea of being better protected than Kira or his men.

Thus when Damar gets hit, although the Obsidian Order tech protects him for the most part, although several of the blasts wound him, and the overall affect is like being strongly shocked. Damar certainly thinks he’s dying, and falls unconscious from the electrical shock (Cardassians are a bit more sensitive to that anyway in my headcanons) and overwhelming pain (the Obsidian Order protective clothing is a bit like kevlar in that it protects you but you still feel the effects when you get shot - and Damar takes a bunch of hits).

Garak says he’s dead, and proceeds to lead to the resistance to victory, knowing that if he tells the truth - that Damar is just unconscious and injured, the rest of the resistance other than Kira will want to wait for him to recover - or at least leave someone behind to protect him - and they don’t have the time or manpower to allow that.

And like heck he’s going to tell Weyoun or the Founder that Damar is lying unconscious in the hallway - that would be potentially disastrous - better to say he’s dead.

Later, when Bashir shows up Garak knows Damar is going to (probably) be fine - he’s much more concerned about the death toll on the rest of Cardassia.

We don’t really hear about Damar again, but his absence from the peace conference could be explained by him still recuperating - or being busy dealing with the humanitarian and political situation in the Cardassian Union.

And that y’all is Why Damar is Definitely Alive and Not Dead.

this thing is called bai-bao-jia.The Chinese used it to store flat items about a hundred years ago.

This bad bai could hold so many stickers I’m never going to have the certainty to actually use

@niuniente LOOK

I SAW THE MENTIONING OF STICKERS AND IMMEDIATELY WENT “YES FOR ME”

has anyone suggested that rich people keep writing shitty articles about millennials because the only millennials they know are their rich shitty children

Ngl I met a rich millenial once and so much clicked into place.

This guy literally inherited millions of dollars of property, but considered himself a self-made man because he also worked a job that was practically a hobby, completely unnecessary for him.

He also complained that “our generation is so entitled” - because all of his stinking rich friends just got cushy jobs at their parents’ companies. He seriously had no fucking idea that this was a thing exclusive to the rich.

So yeah, I definitely think this is 100% true. Explains the bizarre counterclaims, too, where some millenial acts like all Boomers are wealthy power brokers and no poor Boomers could possibly exist - again, it’s the filthy rich complaining about their own parents. The reason all their millenials vs boomers bullshit is so fucking out of touch with reality is that it’s all rooted in the capitalist class bickering about each other from their own incredibly insular, clueless perspective.

leverage making the bold opinion that american bankers are greedier and more malicious criminals than the literal mob is at least part of why it’s my favorite tv show

hear me out: cyberverse fortress maximus, but he’s about astrotrain’s size and he’s significantly nicer

he’s nice enough to pick his boss up when receiving orders