Same Strangers, Same Memories.

@davidcastroq

Try always to remember.
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writing-prompt-s

So… You wanna explore the Universe.

If you are reading this guide, then you and any potential peers want to leave the comfort and security of your warm mother star and expand into the cold, dark, and unforgivable void. A mistake, really, but I am not here to stop you; I am here to lay out some basic rules that you puny mortals must abide by.

  1. Don’t ask questions you are not prepared to know the answer to.
  2. There’s always bigger.
  3. Never cross the Elder Gods.
  4. Always remember rule 1.
  5. Fusion based energy is your best friend. If you are still using fossil fuels then your species sucks. Period.
  6. Speaking of fossil fuels, chemical based rockets suck. Try using space bending warp drives or quantum bridges. Light speed sucks, too.
  7. It’s not a bad idea for your species to be genocidal xenophobic maniacs to everything but yourselves. Just make sure you have the firepower to back it up.
  8. I highly recommend total unity within your species. If you are too busy fighting amongst yourselves, what are you going to do when Needledorp arrives?
  9. Fear Needledorp.
  10. Always remember rule 9.
  11. If you find a desolate, rocky planet with the only inhabitant named “Frank”, avoid that planet at all costs. I don’t care if it’s rich in resources, just avoid it.
  12. Some black holes are alive. They are aggressive. Do not pet the black holes.
  13. It’s just like that, sometimes.
  14. Make sure nothing is following you.
  15. If you have an individual with psychic powers, expect them to go insane once they leave the confines of your mother star. Lock them up in a closet with a few markers and check up on them every once in a while. If they star my screaming about an entity named “Carol”, shoot them out the airlock. They will be the distraction.
  16. Remember rule 1.
  17. You are immortal until proven otherwise.
  18. Any extraterrestrial rocks may have anomalous properties. Proceed with caution, or you may get space zombies or something.
  19. Remember rule 13.
  20. Make sure nothing is following you.
  21. Violence may be an answer to a dispute with an extraterrestrial entity. Copulation is a last resort (control your thirst).
  22. If bullets don’t work, punches will.
  23. Remember rule 17.
  24. Your objective: survive.
  25. Babies are not food, they are weapons.
  26. There are cheat codes.
  27. Don’t ask about the cheat codes. Remember rule 1.
  28. If the void is staring at you. Make it uncomfortable.
  29. Avoid Frank. The anomalous one.
  30. Remember rules 1, 2, and 3.

idk man I like this one

I really like this one

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hgk477

How to Befriend the Monster Under Your Bed

Befriending the monster under your bed has always been a risky affair. You either do it right or you die. Follow the tips below to increase your chances of friendship.

  1. Read bedtime stories to your monster.
  2. Offer food once in a while. 
  3. In some cases your monster might be aggressive; show dominance. I suggest you pick up ’How to Cook the Monster under Your Bed’ by notorious monster serial killer Dave Harley, and put it on your nightstand. Visit the HGK477 library and ask Bob. He knows where to find it. 
  4. Do not look directly into its eyes. Ask for permission first. 
  5. If you notice that your closet door is opened, move out of the room, you won’t be able to handle two of them.
  6. Talk to the monster. 
  7. Some monsters only read dreams and don’t understand the human language. Increase the chance of you having a monster friendly dream by visualizing yourself doing something nice with the monster until you fall asleep. 
  8. Leave an arm, any arm, dangling from your bed. 
  9. If pitch black shadows darker than dark creep up on the walls, leave immediately. It’s not your room anymore. 
  10. Clean underneath your bed for them.
  11. If your bed starts to shake violently, stop. Try again tomorrow.

More guides

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maddcactus-art

I’m done. *waves a banner with “GAVIN REED IS GAY” written on it* Like that wasn’t obvious enough… Also, you can’t win this game, if your wide open smile makes you look a bit insane. So, I’ll go and plan a next little thing. This time - a bit angsty. Because I’m all about that psychological torture… And I know, it’s not an original joke, but I was half way through the thing when I found out that I’m a bad comedian. Duuuuur. 

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sixpenceee

Quetzalcoatlus Northropi Model Next To A 1.8m Man. The Largest Known Flying Animal Ever Exist

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inky-duchess
Writer’s Guide to Fight Scenes

Punch their lights. Smack ‘em with a camera. Action. Action scenes are great. Even the kindest sweetest reader revels in a bit of action. We are disposed to violence due to our basic nature. This does not make violence OK. But you must understand that sugarcoating it, is not perhaps the best idea. Now let’s get to it.

First Rule of Fight Club…

…we must talk about fighting. So some things to remember in a fight.

  • Fighting involves all senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell. You must feel the pain, see the opponent, hear the shouting and blows on skin, taste blood if you are injured and smell the sweat off yourself and your enemy. Make it realistic. All five senses should be used.
  • Punching someone hurts by the way. You bruised your hand and might even break a bone.
  • Adrenaline is a great friend in a fight. It makes you alert and gets your heart pounding. It’s only after the fight that your pain begins to appear. You might think you’re fine but in reality you are probably more bruised that a month old apple.
  • Fighting is tiring. Even professional boxers will yell you that doling out blows and avoiding them, takes it’s toll. Many times a fight is won on the back of an exhausted opponent.
GIF by marvelsironfist

Equip yo'self

Fighting with fists and feet can save a life but sometimes weapons are used. We will discuss gun fights in a later post. Swords and knives are popular weapons in fantasy fighting. Yet swords are heavily and swinging them makes you tired. Knives are all fun and dandy, yet you will almost always slice yourself whilst fighting an opponent. Yet using weapons is a plus for your characters even if it is a rock. See my swords post for sword terminology.

GIF by theembodimentoflife-blog