Northampton County Community Theatre presents: The Phantom of the Opera

If you haven’t seen this genius parody yet, you’re welcome.

"…three human skulls from the 1831 production of Mary Poppins…”

"Twenty thank you, twenty five..Oh fuck it, if we keep up with this shit we’ll never get the scene done, you get it."

Better than the tour I promise. ;)

I have a bad feeling about this

Want

Calvin and Hobbes: the college years

Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.

she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.

damn no wonder she died and smiled for a trillion years afterwards

The fact that we know about her is marvelous.

the next Pharaoh after her Tuthmosis III  tried to erase Hatshepsut out of history ,chiseled her name off her monuments ,covered the text on her obelisks with stone,knocked down and defaced her statues .

she was even left off the list of pharaohs ..talk about some patriarchy bullshit

her name was lost for a couple of millennia, her body was found in a unmarked grave  in early twentieth century

sad part is in Egyptian belief is  if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death 

My best friend throwing down some herstory. A+ commentary

She wore a fake beard, you guys. She was the fucking boss.

If we remember her now does that save her from an awful afterlife?

I’m just picturing the Kemetic afterlife. All the Pharaohs are hanging out in some kind of swanky club, drinking and congratulating each other on being bros. 

The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?” 

Then she punches Tuthmosis III straight in the dick.

PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY: a mix for icarus, history’s greatest downfall

“guy’s i’m gonna get so hella tanned” — icarus, probably

{ listen }

The opposing team helped him score omg 😭

I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

all around me are familiar faces worn out places, worn out faces

After the decline of Ancient Egypt, Anubis finds himself having to assimilate into modern human society.

There’s a old English myth that if someone who truely loved and trusted the werewolf called it by name that it would turn back to human.

Others include throwing their human clothes at it and it’d turn back but that’s a bit less romantic

Tyler Posey Photoshoot

THE SUPERNATURAL GIF CHALLENGE  |   yaelstiel vs. green-circles Round two | Sam + favorite outfit | Sam + Purple Dog Shirt. 

I was asked to post this alone and well, how could I say no to having more Solangelo in my blog?

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

ALSO DING DING HELLO YES READ THIS

SO way back in the renaissance as much as people were learning science and shit and making great improvements in learning how to make people look like real people in art, there was still this big obsession with idealizing the figure. Everyone did it. Like really. Everyone. And so even though Michelangelo made everyone look like a big buff dude that wasn’t always because he just had a special love for drawing dicks, The female form wasn’t considered perfect back then. If you were a goddess or something maybe yeah they might make you look like a lady but Michelangelo wasn’t really into the female form (Despite how fuckin PHENOMENAL his Pieta is)

So when he painted and sculpted women to look more like men it was partially to show off his skill in the masculine form but also it elevated those figures to a higher level of appreciation. Women were still seen as like Eve, especially in the church. So even though they don’t look like women he’s still giving them the same status as a man to make them “better.”

^ I’m glad someone made that last commentary, because the original comic, while really brilliant, sort of misses the mark.

Michelangelo definitely could draw women without a problem—Michelangelo could draw anything he wanted. In fact, one of the few remaining true female nude drawings from the Renaissance was his. He didn’t loathe female bodies because he was gay like some people think, and he wasn’t lacking the skills to paint or sculpt a naturalistic woman.

The thing is, everyone loathed female bodies.

People at the time were culturally brainwashed (mostly by the Church) to believe that a man’s body was ideal, while a woman’s body was just the imperfect version of a man’s body. The more masculine or “idealized” a woman looked, the more attractive she was considered to be. And since the Church dictated what “art” was supposed to look like, you end up with lots of women in art who look like men.

So suggesting that Michelangelo didn’t like to draw (or couldn’t draw) female bodies and was sore about having to paint boobs isn’t really accurate. He was doing was most artists did at the time; he was drawing the Church-designated “ideal body.”

—and he was adding breasts to make them female.

So does that mean he was bypassing the stigma attached to women’s bodies by adding breasts? Idk but it might be more accurate if this comic were reversed.

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

Steve Rogers did, in fact, realize that something was off when he saw the outline of the woman’s odd bra (a push-up bra, he would later learn), but being an officer and a gentleman, he said that it was the game that gave the future away.

#EXCUSE ME MA’AM BUT YOUR TITTIES ARE NOT CONES I’M CALLING BULLSHIT (via)

No, see, this scene is just amazing. The costume department deserves so many kudos for this, it’s unreal, especially given the fact that they pulled off Peggy pretty much flawlessly.

1) Her hair is completely wrong for the 40’s. No professional/working woman  would have her hair loose like that. Since they’re trying to pass this off as a military hospital, Steve would know that she would at least have her hair carefully pulled back, if maybe not in the elaborate coiffures that would have been popular.

2) Her tie? Too wide, too long. That’s a man’s tie, not a woman’s. They did, however, get the knot correct as far as I can see - that looks like a Windsor.

3) That. Bra. There is so much clashing between that bra and what Steve would expect (remember, he worked with a bunch of women for a long time) that it has to be intentional. She’s wearing a foam cup, which would have been unheard of back then. It’s also an exceptionally old or ill-fitting bra - why else can you see the tops of the cups? No woman would have been caught dead with misbehaving lingerie like that back then, and the soft satin cups of 40’s lingerie made it nearly impossible anyway. Her breasts are also sitting at a much lower angle than would be acceptable in the 40’s.

Look at his eyes. He knows by the time he gets to her hair that something is very, very wrong.

[@kevinfarzad]

Spread this. Share this. Do this. Yes.

Reblogging because…..yes. Do this.

Not what I usually reblog but holy chaos that’s smart

My parents made sure me and my sister had a passwords for this exact reason. I even still remember the password… 

Wait there are people that don’t do this? Seriously guys, this is a smart thing to do, even police officers ‘sent’ for me are given the password.