RETURN OF THE OBRA DINN

my dnd party has run into an npc who may or may not be evil and may or may not decide to betray us and the dm was in chat today like “just so everyone knows…not addressing this comment at anyone in particular…his favorite colors are red and black…wink” so now i’m desperately trying to get a real physical friendship bracelet done before session tomorrow in the vain hope that i can somehow stop this npc from trying to do a murder on my party

UPDATE: the npc was in fact a shapechanged adult black dragon with violence and conquest in his heart. however he did let merry put a friendship bracelet on him and then when she was like “hm okay how big is your wrist in dragon form” he was like “you wanna see?” and then turned into a dragon and let merry measure him for a second, dragon-sized friendship bracelet. the dm described him afterwards as being deeply confused as to why he did this or let any of this happen to him. call that the merry effect

this guy is now a recurring npc because merry was SO determined to make him her friend that it actually somehow worked. he cast dream to talk to one of my party members like “hey…how’s it going…how are the tieflings in the party…not that i care…also i’m not lonely. bye” and the player was like “is he still wearing merry’s friendship bracelet in this dream” and the dm was like “yeah…”

fsdfjhskdf the dm just sent us all this image

so merry taught naeric (the dragon) the power of love, obviously, and because his heart was open and beautiful he started dating…a SECOND evil dragon. and then that gf betrayed him and cast ninth level imprisonment on him so now naeric is our damsel in distress and we have to save him from his girlfriend, the actual villain. how the turntables…

and. in the most horrible plot twist of all. the gf stole his friendship bracelet.

[ID: meme of a child holding a white cat. several more children surround them, petting the cat and taking pictures. white text over the child holding the cat reads, My Players. white text over the cat has been crossed out with black scribbles and below that more text reads, The NPC I actually intended to be a super serious villain /END ID]

robots are so so cute,,,, love is stored in the wires

WHO TOUCHED MY POST

WHO TOUCHED MY FUCKING POST

YOU

this is so upsetting, PLEASE rb to spread awareness

PLEASE, PLEASE REBLOG THIS, WHETHER YOURE JEWISH OR NOT.

THIS IS A SUPER IMPORTANT PART OF OUR HISTORY, DONT LET IT GET DESTROYED.

perhaps help take steps to stop them now from future attempts...

"magical fey shapeshifter surrounded by regular animals" is by far my favorite cartoon saloon trope

This is the funniest fucking addition anyone has ever made on one of my posts. Everyone else go home

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

How the fuck does his have less than 200k after setting the internet on fire for months

This lack of notes is probably a big part of why TikTok seems to think they invented the meme.

They think WHAT?!

You’re standing at the altar, about to get married to your beautiful fiancée. When suddenly the king of demons bursts through the door of the room, which naturally causes panic. You tried to warn everyone that inviting your sibling to the wedding would mean trouble, but they kept insisting.

which is fine, because love is love, and you’re getting gay-married, so it would be kind of ironic if love was only sometimes love.

except The King Of Demons (his is Edmund) is always late, to everything, always. which is fair, because time doesn’t work in hell, and it’s not like he can just catch a bus. except that you specifically asked him not to do this, didn’t you, because he’s always doing things like this.

He splays out his hands, the light catching on long, ivory claw tips. god, doesn’t he know not to wear white to a wedding?

so many people are screaming right now.

Hokusai Circut board print the Great Wave off Kanagawa circa 21st century by  Alain Bousquet

ever since my gf and i moved in together a couple years ago i've been semi-regularly executing something i call a "prank night." this is something you want to do frequently enough that it's not a special occasion, but spontaneously enough to make it a prank. the set-up for a prank night is simple

now you can execute the four core aspects of the prank night

The Look On The Girlfriend's Face Will Be Awesome!

I dearly wish that people would view their bodies as they view flowers…

Veins everywhere?

gorgeous~

Skin patches? Birthmarks?

hella rad~

Scars? Stretch marks?

beautiful~

Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?

heckie yeah~

Large? Curvy?

lovely~

Small? Thin?

charming~

Missing a few pieces?

handsome as ever~

Feel like you just look weird?

you’re fantastic looking~

THIS is the best post ever. 

THIS.

so my parents speak czech decently, but when they were learning it they were obsessed with the words hedgehog and baby jesus. both words sound similar to each other; "ježek" and "ježíšek" respectively. They used to get them mixed up in their heads all the time. but even after they eventually figured out the difference, as a joke they would still call the baby Jesus a hedgehog. and every time they saw a hedgehog, they would act like it's the most venerable thing in the world and refer to it as the blessed baby Jesus.

my dad pointing to a hedgehog: “ježíšek!!!”

my mom, absolutely fucking going along with it: “little ježíšek !!! beautiful ježíšek!!! who else is worthy of our praise??”

I'm a native czech speaker and I assure you 90% of native czech kids also mix them up and many adults continue with the joke

Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!

Also tumblr:

lmao

You know how it is then, folks!

i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar

now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends

we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…

“penguin brothers forever”

I couldn’t resist this. The idea of space sirens and starmaids just make me want to grab pen and paper instantly. So, this is how I enjoyed my free Sunday. <3 My thanks for @quietpinetrees for the wonderful inspiration.

Scanned and coloured version, traditional media, A4-ish

As a writer, very little brings me as much joy as being the inspiration for someone else’s creativity. I want to thank @drachenmagier for sharing this magnificent art with the world.

I hope everyone inspired by my writing to create something of their own is kind enough to share it.

join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us join us

hey guys my dad is restricting the food i make/eat to purely sugary shit and chocolate which. is making me really tired and brainfoggy. he's very aware of how it effects me bc he was a chef for ten years. can i get like fifteen bucks for a good meal out im tired of pizza and chocolate and pasta six days a week

c*sh*app and v*nm* is @cozicko

garlic bread.

the calmness that permeates over me every time I experience this… I don’t subscribe to heaven but this is my Eden

@stvksn on ig

My friend just sent me this tik tok and I love it sm

Con sonido! 🔈🔉🔊

The face of a woman regretting the music lessons.

This is fairly close to the relationship I had with my mom.

i love those little moments where her face lights up because the joy of the joke far outweighs how sick of it she is. like the moment with the star wars music? *chef’s kiss*

They are both clearly having SO much fun, I love this