teahimbo
lakemichiganbaby
pauldanojpg
knightheart
Lol, love u too mom.
i-am-the-broken-bride
Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust
There needs to be 400 hours in the day so I have more time to do fuck all
it never fails to surprise me how some people will simply take every single thing in a story at face value and assume that what the characters are saying or doing or thinking must always be true even when all of the context clues are screaming the opposite
fuck the grind. fuck work culture. i want a slow life. i want to wake up in the morning and scramble eggs and saute some spinach, squeeze some orange juice and cut up some strawberries, and eat it all while sitting on my porch and watching my goats mill about in the yard. i have a world of downtime to bake bread and garden and read and craft. i am free.
Our Japanese class found it funny that in common terminology "food" isn't very distinguished from specifically "rice" until it was pointed out to us that in English "meal" is "loose roughly ground grain"
humans be like staple crop
staple crop to what
ublock-origin
directly to forehead
oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years
okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other
so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.
and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS
ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED
until like LAST WEEK
professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"
and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine
and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"
and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT
we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy
like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny
Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.
Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.
Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:
Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.
Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:
Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.
Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.
Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.
Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?
Roy: But Bruce said-
Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-
*cut to Jason fighting Batman*
Roy: So does this count, or…
Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?
Steph: Outsourcing.
Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*
I need it to be documented that for the Steph and Cass bit I am 100% picturing him in the robe and towel with his cowl still on, Lego Batman Movie style. Thank you that is all.
wait so the new superman animated show has clark kent transforming into superman a la magical girl anime sequence???
if your man does this that’s not your man that’s sailor moon
(probably) rejected going seventeen ideas
On the off chance someone from the seventeen team is reading this (((like you probably did with the hide and seek post AHEM COUGH COUGH jk unless)))) I present to you my GOSE ideas:
- They are in a courtroom and have to defend each other. The case should be something that actually happened (i.e one of their petty fights) They can present their arguments with irrelevant proof (for example, Mingyu is a lawyer, and the other party’s lawyer Seungkwan presents a picture of Mingyu flexing his muscles and says he’s a show off or some shit bc he wants to EMBARRASS HIM) Since there’s 523 members of svt some could be lawyers, defendants, judge, key witnesses and jury… hell, someone could be a security guard. Also I am merely a fan of seventeen in suits (update: they actually did this one omg)
- BET ON MY BESTIE. They are all given a prompt and they have to bet on which member they think would do it best. The betted on members have to prove whether or not they can do it. For example, “Which member can do 30 pushups in 15 seconds?” You have everyone SCREAMINGG hyping up Woozi Mingyu and Joshua. You’d have Hoshi making crazy promises like “JOSHUA IF YOU WIN THIS I’LL BUY YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT” and then when Joshua wins Hoshi’s like “🤭 just kidding”
- SVT building ikea furniture in two teams. One member is blindfolded, another member is wearing noise cancelling headphones and another is not allowed to talk -> these three have to some how relay the instructions to the rest of the team
no, no. these are horrors beyond your comprehension. i understand them, though. i desire them carnally.
we have to support bisexuals who nobody wants because they suck
Batman the Playboy
Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.
The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.
Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“
Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”
Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”
Green Arrow: (offended noises)
Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”
Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”
However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)
So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”
Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”
Batman nods. Thank God. He has finally reached the point where he is allowed to stop. He wants to go home and sleep.
Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.
GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”
Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”
Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”
Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”
GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”
Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.
Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”
Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”
Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”
Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”
Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”
Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻♂️
“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”
Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!
The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.
And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.
(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)
