beautifully said. 💜

original

if you’re like. 14 and trans on tumblr rn and getting ur first anon hate from terfs. word of advice. stop responding to that shit. theyre only gonna send more, it’s only gonna make you spiral even if you put on a strong face. report + block messages as soon as they come in, don’t let them sit in your inbox it’s gonna make you feel like shit. turn off anon for a few days, block anyone suspicious in your notes liberally for a little while. repeat as needed. don’t give them the time of day. it sucks, but like. i dont know any trans person on the internet with any following who hasn’t gotten some disgusting messages. just. be safe yknow

so many young teens feel the need to have a snappy comeback, to explain you could never be cishet bc you’re actually t4t!! or whatever but like. just. don’t say any of that. they love that shit, they eat it up. do what u can to bore them into stopping. and sometimes they dont stop, and that sucks too but like. you do not want to get in public arguments with people who can hurt you more than you think they can, its not cowardly to delete discourse posts and shit if you feel like you can’t handle the notifications anymore. like just. you may not be able to completly prevent this stuff but take a few steps if you can, it will at least lower your chances

This list includes doctors in the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe!

Even if you're not the target demographic, please share for any of your friends who may be.

And if you or someone you know would like to be added to the list, there's a place for that!

Trying to figure out if you’re ace or aro can be so goddamn hard because it’s like, trying to find the absence of something. Imagine you’re at a pond and you want to know if there are any turtles, or fish. Say you find a turtle and you’re like “great! Now I know there are turtles.” Or a fish, now you know for sure there are fish. Or you find both, and now you know for a fact there are both turtles and fish in the pond.

But like, if you don’t find any turtles it might be that there are no turtles or maybe you’re just really shitty at looking for turtles and maybe you THINK you saw a turtle over there or maybe it was just a stick. Maybe there are only a few turtles. Maybe you need to do something special to find the turtles. Maybe a bunch of these rocks are actually turtles but you couldn’t tell them apart. Maybe there are no turtles. You have no idea. Meanwhile some people are saying “Oh there have to be turtles! You’ll find them eventually ;)” or “How many turtles have you found in your pond?” or “Try planting some vegetables at the shore to attract the turtles.” Or “Oh no! What disaster happened to your pond that there are no turtles?” And you’re just standing there wet with an empty net and a tired expression.

But whatever because whether there are turtles or fish or not your pond’s ecology works just fine without them because that’s what eco-communities do they form a system around what they have. You aren’t missing anything if you don’t have turtles you just have a pond system without turtles. If someone tried to change you by pouring a bunch of turtles into your pond it would probably fuck something up.

So you don’t have to be entirely sure. You don’t have to search every inch of the damn pond before you can decide there are probably no turtles. If you want to take the aro or ace label because you think it fits go for it. And if you do find your turtles you can rename the pond. That’s fine.

Asexuals were always part of pride and it really fucking shows when people think it's a recent term.

Although not going by the term "asexual" yet, asexuality was spoken about alongside homosexuality as far back as the 1890s. Asexual history is just as vital to queer history as any other term and I'm so tired of watching us being treated like a new thing

This image is so so fucking important to me

Reblog this, cowards

We don't talk about platonic marriages enough

I am bisexual. My partner is aroace. We are in a queerplatonic relationship. We have been together for around 4 years and got engaged a little over 1 year ago. We don't do romantic things (we do sometimes, but not usually.) and we don't do sexual things. There's no romance, but we love each other. It is 100% platonic. But I ALWAYS feel the need to clarify this with people we meet that, it's not "oh haha we were best friends for so long we just decided to get married teehee" NO It's still love. We live for each other. We would die for each other. We are attached at the hip. We are each others most important thing in the entire world. Just because we don't kiss or have sex doesn't mean it's not love. I LOVE my fiance in ways words can't explain. And they love me just the same. Just because it's not romantic doesn't make it any less of a relationship. Just because it's not sexual doesn't make us any less engaged. I am going to marry my fiance, my best friend, the love of my life, and I need people to know that it's not because we couldn't find anyone else. It's not because we said we would if we were still single at X years old. It's not a trend or a phase or anything like that. I'm going to marry them because I LOVE them.

@skittlescripts <3

a collections of links to readings on asian-american gay and lesbian history

“Asian Lesbians in San Francisco: Struggles to Create a Safe Space, 1970s-1980s,” Trinity A. Ordona, in Asian/Pacific Islander American Women: A Historical Anthology, 2003 [starts on p. 319]

“Tomboy, Dyke, Lezzie, and Bi: Filipina Lesbian and Bisexual Women Speak Out,” Christine T. Lipat, Trinity A. Ordona, Cianna Pamintuan Steward, and Mary Ann Ubaldo, in Pinay Power: Peminist Critical Theory (2005)

“Slicing Silence: Asian Progressives Come Out,” Daniel C. Tsang, in Asian Americans: The Movement and the Moment, 2001

“Sexuality, Identity, and the Uses of History,” Nayan Shah, in Q & A: Queer in Asian American, 1998 [starts on p. 141]

“Subverting Seductions,” Gupta, Unruly Immigrants, 2007 [starts on p. 159]

“Queer Asian American Historiography,” Amy Sueyoshi, in The Oxford Handbook of Asian American History, 2016 [contains discussion of csa]

“Miss Morning Glory: Orientalism and Misogyny in the Queer Writings of Yone Noguchi,” Amy Sueyoshi, in Amerasia Journal, 2011

“Breathing Fire: Remembering Asian Pacific American Activism in Queer History,” Amy Sueyoshi, in LGBTQ America: A Theme Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer History, 2016

“Looking for Jiro Onuma: A Queer Meditation on the Incarceration of Japanese Americans during World War II,“ Tina Takemoto, in GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies, 2014

”Gay Asian Community Oral History Project“ (abstracts only)

this may be nitpicky but i need to get pissed at it somewhere but does it annoy anyone else how "no kink at pride" assholes just straight up use asexuals as a gotcha against people who argue with them? they always say shit like "oh but asexuals might not like seeing sex stuff at pride :(" shut up!!!!! we are not babies!! just because i dont like or want sex for myself doesnt mean i will faint if see someone wearing fetish gear or something. most asexual people do not care if other people have sex, we just dont want to. also, its very telling when the only time you acknowledge/care about asexual people is when you can use us to win an argument or make other queer people more palatable.

It's OK to not use labels. Whether it's because none feel right, or you don't see the need or any other reason. Labels are optional.

To people who are desperately asking for fundz/donations on tumblr.

USE THESE REDDIT SUBS INSTEAD PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!!

Hate Reddit if you want, but using these subs are your best chance. People gather in these subs because they have charity to spare:

/r/Assistance /r/legaladvice /r/RandomKindness /r/Charity /r/care /r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza /r/Food_Pantry https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfPetFood/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfChristmas/ https://www.reddit.com/r/almosthomeless/ https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless

/r/freelance  /r/povertyfinance /r/thrifty /r/borrow /r/gofundme

/r/depression /r/familysupport /r/transitions 

I never see anyone actually getting any significant donations on tumblr and to be honest, tumblr is the worst place to ask for assistance. Use it as your last resort, it frustrates me to no end seeing people begging for help, reblogging the same post over and over, the same types of posts over and over, to no avail, when people are waiting to help you on a different part of the web  GO TO WHERE THE HELP IS. IF YOU WANT DIRECT ACTION TO WORK STOP WITH TUMBLR AND USE REDDIT.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN REBLOG THIS SO WE CAN START REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF DONATION POSTS THAT GET STUCK FLOATING AROUND THIS WEBSITE

Hope this can help some people over here too

I know some of our community have been stuck in hard spots and this has a LOT of resources

This is a great post. A friend of mine once described Tumblr donation posts as ‘a bunch of poor queer people handing the same $20 back and forth so nobody starves’. Which is better than nothing, but it’s frustrating, it makes people bitter, it means a lot of people are not getting the help they need and they need abandoned and rejected by their online communities when the fact is that we simply do not have enough funds in our communities.

Download Firefox

Install uBlock Origin

If you use Chrome, Firefox has a feature to import your bookmarks, passwords, and other data when you switch.

You deserve software that doesn’t hate you, switch to Firefox <3 🦊

Other good extensions:

Privacy Possum is an anti-tracking extension that not only blocks commercial trackers, it also fucks with them by generating nonsense data.

Forget Me Not is a cookie management tool that lets you choose whether/how sites can store cookies on your computer on a site-by-site basis.

Bypass Paywalls Clean does exactly what it says: allows you to bypass paywalls on news sites and the like.

SponsorBlock uses crowd-sourced data to block sponsored segments on YouTube videos. Now you never have to hear about NordVPN or Raycon ever again!

Breakthrough Twitter Login Wall is another “what it says on the tin” extension. It stops Twitter from trying to force you to log in, so you can browse anonymously in peace.

PSA Regarding Hateful Anons

Tumblr recently made it a requirement for you to be logged in to send asks anonymously. If you receive a hateful ask, don’t publish it - report it to Tumblr. It can be traced back to the user that sent it and with enough reports that person’s account will be suspended.

Share to raise awareness but also to make the clowns who think this behaviour is acceptable think twice before acting brave behind the guise of invisibility.

anyway in light of hbo's silly new series announcement today, i am going to leave these links here

Here's an addition with some Jewish charities to donate to:

the media: “but the palestinians were holed up inside the mosque-“

girl it’s called ITIKAF what is wrong with you people

for people who don’t know (which is apparently the whole world and every news station), itikaf is a practice of quiet spiritual reclusion performed during ramadan. people will stay inside the mosques throughout the entire night to worship and perform extra prayers

so, yeah, worshippers were “holed up” inside the mosque, it’s literally a religious practice performed during ramadan across the entire world. i’ve participated in it as well, it’s extremely common. i know people who will spend days at a time inside a mosque and not come out while practicing itikaf

now the question you should be asking is why the military is invading a sacred place of prayer in the middle of the night and beating, tear-gassing, and brutalizing the men, women, children, and elderly who were worshipping God in our holiest month and in one of our holiest places. they even destroyed the free medical clinic inside the compound and started fires

the question you should be asking is why the world makes excuses for this unprovoked violence, or worse, believes it to be deserved

but some of you aren’t ready for that conversation

Even if they were 'holed up' like what right do they have to be throwing grenades and shooting at people like we're dehumanized so incessantly that people think us gathering somewhere as Palestinians is grounds for an invasion.

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

I searched and searched for the post this graphic was from, and the OP deactivated, but I kept the graphic, because my BFF does the same thing, uses her imagination to come up with the worst pain she can imagine and pegs her “10″ there, and so is like, well, I’m conscious, so this must be a 5, and then the doctors don’t take her seriously. (And she then does things like driving herself to the hospital while in the process of giving birth. Probably should have called an ambulance for that one!)

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”. 

I hate reposting stuff, but I’ll never find that post again and OP is deactivated, so, here’s a repost. I can delete this later, i just wanted to get it to you and I can’t embed images in a chat or an ask. 

This is possibly why it took several weeks to diagnose my fractured spine.

Pain Scale transcription:

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

0 - I have no pain.

It’s also really important to get this kind of scale to people who have chronic pain, because chronic pain drastically lowers your perception of how “bad” any kind of pain actually is, and yet something like this pain scale is extremely user friendly. 

For example, if someone asked me how much pain I’m in at any given time, I’d say hardly any, and yet I’m apparently at a chronic 2.5, and it only goes up from there depending on the day. 

There’s also a similarly useful “Fatigue Scale”

I haven’t been below a 5 on this scale for 4 years 

Here’s the fatigue scale

Fatigue scale image desc:

10: can barely move; can’t talk

9: can barely move; can talk

8: can move, but can’t do much more than watch TV

7: can watch TV and play a game on my phone simultaneously

6: can do work on my computer lying in bed

5: can get around the house, but definitely couldn’t go out

4: can run a light errand

3: can get in my 10,000 steps, making my fitbit happy

2: can do three or more activities in a single day

1: going clubbing!

See also the Mental Health Pain Scale by Graceful Patient:

Mental Health Pain Scale transcription:

MILD

1 - Everything is a-okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now. Enjoy!

2 - You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with a little effort.

3 - Things are bothering you, but you’re coping. You might be overtired or hungry. The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 - Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 - Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 - You can’t do things the way you usually do them due to your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with.

SEVERE

7 - You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 - You can’t hide your struggles any more. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socialising, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 - You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning any more. You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

10 - The worst mental and emotional distress possible. You can no longer care for yourself. You can’t imagine things getting any worse. Contact a crisis line immediately.

These are so important! SO SO IMPORTANT SHARE THIS AND SAVE IT TO SHOW YOUR DOCTORS!

This is the first time I’ve seen the fatigue scale, and HOLY MOLY that’s a revelation!!! These should be on all hospital and doctor office walls.

I’ve never seen the mental health one! or the fatigue one! I printed out the pain one and gave it to my GP. 

Needed to pin this somewhere, decided this blog was good.

This is relevant once again. I apologize if you are a real human getting blocked/reported.

look at me. listen to me. bigots and queerphobes don’t know the distinction between a trans person, a gnc cis gay person, and a cisgender heterosexual crossdresser. all of these people are just queer degenerates to them. that is why their anti-drag bills are written so vaguely as to encompass any possible mundane gender nonconformity - so they can target as many of us as possible in one ruling. and that’s why you need to stop trying to put lines between these groups in regards to ‘who’s more oppressed’ and ‘who has the right to talk about gender’ - gender nonconformity and transgenderism are punished in exactly the same way. cut one of us and the other bleeds. our fight is the same.

The Willow Project would emit more climate pollution annually than more than 99.7% of all the single point sources in the country. It would be harmful for the natives living there, animals, and the rest of the environment. The video below explains more about it

Below is a letter written by people who live in the area where the project would take place, they talk about the pros and cons of it

If you're against the Willow Project, there's this petition

And this has a pre-written letter that will get sent to Biden, the final decision maker regarding the project, saying you're against the Willow Project

also while i’m ranting about gender i always see debate about whether girls are rewarded for being tomboys or not and it’s like. actually girls are rewarded for mirroring whatever the situation demands of them. girls can’t be too prissy and refuse to play in the creek, but girls also can’t show up to girly events covered in mud. girls can’t have makeup art as a hobby or else they’re superficial, but if they never wear makeup they’re a slob and dumpy, etc. it’s not that girls are universally rewarded or punished for being tomboys, they’re rewarded for bending over backwards to always be exactly right for any given situation and punished for breaking those boundaries. so yes a classically pretty girl who cleans up nice is rewarded when she can ALSO be a tomboy. but a girl who is a tomboy all the time is definitely punished for never being able to achieve that prerequisite feminine side. this debate is over now thanks

this is spot on. A woman's masculinity is rewarded as long as it doesn't conflict with being heteronormatively attractive and as long as the masculinity plays harmonising second fiddle to the masculinity of the men around her.

Essentially the goalposts for girls and women move situationally and based on who wants what because at the end of the day under patriarchy the only correct female presentation/behavior is “what is demanded of her/obedience”

Reblog if you or someone you know is ace… I’m trying to see something