Dual Wielding Pizzas

Thought I'd post a lil Garrus for N7 Day

It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

U dont understand i had to write the first 70,000 words because if i didnt the sex wouldnt be as perilous or emotionally fraught. Which is the POINT.

for someone a self proclaimed pervert i sure do love writing long winded internal monologues where characters sit and think about what they want but cannot have instead of. you know. dry humping and whatnot

ah ok i get it now. the real perversion is in its absence.

I can't believe November is almost over. What's next, December?? Thank god there aren't any months after that

can I live my life or do I have to go away forever

Mongolian horse archer; pulled from Instagram from a repost account that did not include the og source

Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.

accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

Oh hey tomorrow is Wolfenoot.

Happy Woolfenoot everyone.

Happy wolfenoot

merry wolfenoot !

To be fair, he does deserve it and much worse

The derry girls would’ve killed pennywise with hammers I’ll tell you that much

You need to start moisturizing before it's too late. I'm not talking about wrinkles or any of that nonsense. Winter is fucking coming you need to grease up or you are going to dry out like a raisin. It's too late for me but you can still save yourself. Please don't end up like me

Guys it's actually so dire please for the love of God start moisturizing right fucking now. I just put on lotion and my skin sucked it up before I could even rub it in we are in fucking crisis mode

The Phantom of the Opera: I was born with facial deformities that are so horrific that even my own mother couldn't bear to look at me.

Me: So that's why you have to live as an outcast in the basements of the opera house?

The Phantom, who has been an admired performer, palace architect, royal executioner, and chief contractor of the opera house who is able to go out in public with no alteration to his face except a false nose and mustache: No, that's a separate choice that I've made.

dear smut writers,

to lave means to wash/bathe/lap at, and it's in basically every sex scene ever

a lathe is a machine that smoothes a spinning piece of wood or metal by cutting thin layers off it, and it's also in an unfortunate number of sex scenes

so when you say things like this:

I am imagining things like this:

Is this what they mean by CNC kink?

ohhhh nooooo a big strong man who can pin me down & take what he wants!!! what ever will I do ☺️☺️☺️