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when the

@dank-os

remember when t
ptsilenthill

eating a burger with no honey mustard eating a burger with no honey mustard eating a burger with no honey mustard

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

i wanna get more hickeys but my warrior’s instincts keep causing me to effortlessly dodge every bite and scratch with beastly precision

if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they'd do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag

oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic

austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind

nothing will make you think "i have got to get weirder" more than finally feeling comfortable enough around other people to admit to interests of yours that you think make you a freak and a weirdo only to realize with a combination of embarrassment and relief that you're like a normie to them

"sicko feedback loop" is a warrior's bond stronger and more meaningful than marriage

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Concept: magic school drama with one of those goofy house systems where the protagonist gets assigned to what is widely regarded as the boring house for boring people, and their central emotional conflict revolves around trying to prove they're Not So Ordinary After All™; eventually their efforts lead them to accidentally discover that the school is actually some sort of wildly unethical human experiment, and the reason their house is the boring one is that it's the control group.

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city folk when someone in the country owns chickens for eggs and meat, and not so they can make them instagram accounts

my controversial metric system opinion is that the meter should be 0.0692285593% shorter. This would have no practical benefits, but it would make the speed of light be 300,000,000m/s instead of 299,792,458m/s