Check your kid’s candy and give these to me

Professionalism sucks I wanna put "😭😭" in my emails.

tbh i am not the person you want to be texting in an emergency, my notifications are off and i’m on Do Not Disturb. i haven’t had a ringtone since the dark years of ‘06. i’ll text u back in four (business) months like “hope that worked out, the Lord works in mysterious ways xx”

I like hearing “I want you to come” instead of “you can come if you want”

my nasty ass was confused bc i thought this was about busting a nut

This is still the biggest mood tbh

mm yes muvva *tongue pop* give us that hyper death drop!!

literally what compelled somebody to make this

the power of christ

a romantic scene in a book: our lips met and he tasted of cigarettes and coffee

me:

mariah carey on: paying your electricity bill

LMAOOOOOoooo

JSCKSFSKSVSJSGSKHD

“in AMERICA we get it free”

“no you dont…”

I need DICK

D edicated friends who I trust & love

I nner peace with myself

C onstant positive thoughts

K penis

Well, at least we still have Mario-presenting nipples

OH COME ON

me on december 18th: wow this movie FUCKS

my assigned tumblr staff incel:

reblog to shove a white twink

Anyways this scene set women back 50 years and the reason why we still don’t have equal pay

Victorious cast in Thank U, Next