let's just call it the fallacy of sunk costs on Tumblr

another bit of meta i’ve been stewing in: on my most recent rewatch i’ve become very attached to the reading of Scully as autistic in the sort of highly-masked, unrecognized-in-childhood way a lot of high powered women in the workforce demonstrate… Thots:

-lots of difficulty naming, describing, processing her own emotions. SO many moments of this… I’m thinking particularly of when the MUFON group of fellow abductees invite her into their midst in season 3, and she just shuts down and flees. my baby </3 -drawn to systems of scientific rigor to make sense of the world and shuts down HARD when this gets thrown out of whack -but also, very drawn to Moral Integrity and acts out of a powerful sense of what’s right! iirc she describes her interest in joining the FBI in these terms–again, sort of adhering to the belief of enacting change through Systems. I kind of see her relationship with her Catholicism in these terms as well, and how in this way it really doesn’t contradict with her skepticism at all. it’s beyond only Science, it’s Systems she finds comfort in -hilariously despite mulder being the Trust No One guy scully is famously the one who has a difficult time getting a read on strangers and their intentions (i have a lot of thoughts about this social dichotomy between her and mulder too, it’s very interesting…) usually assuming ill will, especially in other women. which is more often than not just the show writers being misogynist yaaaaay <3 but– oh man do I know that Not Sure If The Other Girls Are Making Fun Of You feel. but, but! she’s also very kind, very quick to reassess and forgive without any ego getting in the way -at the heart of all her internal turmoil about her path in life–is she on the right one, mulder’s path, how they intersect, whether this is her crusade or not–i pick up on an internal thread that there is a part of her, a guilty part, that is all too happy to retreat from the Normal World and section herself from the expectations of a standard life, standard sociality, in the weird little private haven of codependency she and mulder have built -this is getting into the weeds a bit but her extremely pragmatic dress code, even outside of work, reminds me of choices i would make out of my own neurodivergent hatred of specific sensory experiences lol. you can chalk this up to just s1 weirdness, but I love her little s1 glimpses of trying to go on dates, get dolled up, Perform Normal Neurotypical Social-Smoothing Femininity (while being described as a tomboy child) as something that also gradually fades out of the series, another aspect of “oh thank GOD i don’t have to do that anymore” in her interiority lol -relates everything in her life to her special interest (Moby Dick) (ok but really)

mulder of course has ADHD. the most blatant ADHD-haver of all time. they are THE autism4adhd couple.

#news! i got diagnosed as autistic! and loads of this is me!#xf #autism