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"theres just something wrong with me"

@dangerouslydetached

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we fought today and you told me that you believed me once when i said that i will always want you, but i don’t know if it’s true anymore. i don’t really know how it is that you always seem to hurt me. it’s like some kind of drug to you, and maybe it’s like a drug to me too, since i keep coming back for more. i keep telling myself i’ve had enough and then before i know it here we are again. i just want happiness, i want the love and the lust and i don’t want to pain and the tears anymore. you always have a way of breaking me, and i don’t know how many more pieces i can be broken into before there’s nothing left. we fought today and you told me that you believed me once when i said that i will always want you, but i’m starting to think that maybe it’s just the idea of you that i will always want.

4:12am

i don't want to run away because i'm scared anymore. i did it so many times with you and with everything in my life and i am fucking petrified and all i want to do is run even though i know how much pain it's going to cause me. but i want to stay this time i don't wanna leave when things get scary because i want to be better. i don't want to be who i was.

i just saw her snapchat story, of her in your bed. it hurt, a lot. and i am here now, crying at the thought of you with her. it hurt a lot, because 3 days ago you told me you loved me. even after the fight we had you told me that you loved me... and now it all means nothing. my heart shattered into a million pieces when i saw that, and i'm so sorry that i hurt you, but you hurt me so much too.

Ya know what nic fine yeah she’s a very pretty girl and she’s a good person and she’s cool to be around, but that isn’t why I lied.