JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT WAS JUST ABOUT A BOY PLAYING A GAME WITH FRIENDS ON HIS BIRTHDAY
So I went looking at Gordon Ramsay videos and found this and laughed for about 10 minutes.
Source: kamoe
Games with English: insert the word “only” anywhere into the above sentence and consider how the placement changes meaning.
Listen guys, the flash is named “GAME OVER”.
What do you do when you get a game over? You start from your last save.
What’s missing from the page under the flash? The save link.
GAME OVER. NO SAVE. TRY AGAIN.
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
This always cracks me up and I just want a giant poster of it in every lab.
Masculinity is such a fragile concept.
the-goddamazon
This is literally my favorite video.
buttwyattarchive-deactivated201
this is never going to not be funny
coolpepcat-deactivated20190924
Hey do you need to cry late at night here you go
Heres a thought.
If Oobleck’s weapon is also the thermos he drinks out of.
And it shoots fire.
Coffee doesn’t catch on fire. But you know what does?
Alcohol.
Ooblecks been drinking Hard Liquor this entire time.
doctor-bartholomew-oobleck
Why do you kids always have to pry into my personal life?!
have you ever just looked at someone and thought, my fucking god i adore you. i adore every goddamn ounce. i adore your bones and your soul. but I’m a loser, who just doesn’t wanna lose you. i can lose fucking everything, but not you. oh god. not you.
“A Centaur in Disguise” by Michelle Tolo
This is the most precious Centaur art I’ve ever seen.
What really makes it is the fact that the dude and the horse are both going “something here ain’t right…”
positronmorbid
And I could see any hard core horse riding enthusiast going “What are you doing!? That’s not how you ride!”
I guess he’s trying to blend in and not be the
centaur of attention
lokanemandi
OH MY GOD
sistercrow
Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either.
Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.
To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting. There is only one problem.
Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side. Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape. Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie.
Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.
Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.
What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good.
The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.
The credits roll.
Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.
He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.
“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents. It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.”
“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
Ignoring her question, the man continues. “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.” He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”
“You still haven’t answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?”
The man smiles. “My name is Banner. And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”
the-fandoms-are-cool
how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan
watermelonsarerad
HOLY FUCKING SHIT BEST PLOT TWIST EVER HOLY SHIT I AM FREAKING OUT HOLY SHIT THIS IS JUST SO WONDERFUL BLESS YOU BLESS YOUR SOUL BLESS YOUR MOTHER BLESS YOUR MONEY
I was starting to think the little scene after credits looked familiar then BOOM PLOT TWIST
Iron Man (2008):
Tony: I fucked up
Iron Man 2 (2010):
Tony: I'm fucked up
Avengers (2012):
Tony: The one time I didn't fuck up
Iron Man 3 (2013):
Tony: I'M SO FUCKED UP
Avengers Age of Ultron (2015):
Tony: I FUCKED UP MORE THAN I HAVE EVER FUCKED UP BEFORE
lookoo-lucy
that’s It
This Is my favorite of em’ all
grinningmoonlight-deactivated20
IF THAT IS YANG’S MOM THAT MEAN SHE IS A FAUNUS
WHICH WOULD MEAN YANG IS A HALF FAUNUS
MONTY DID SAY WE ALREADY HAVE A CHARACTER WHO IS A HALF FAUNUS BUT WE DIDN’T KNOW WHO IT WAS YET
WHICH COULD TOTALLY MAKE SENSE WITH THE “LITTLE DRAGON” NAME YANG HAS
WHICH ALSO MAKES SENSE WHY HER EYES CHANGE COLOR
CAN EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE JOIN ME ON MY FREAK OUT
a-pttttbbbblllththth a-ptttbbbblllththth
richardsp8-jr
I never thought this sound would be represented in letters.
becausebirds
the difference between birds and birbs
capaldis-leftkidney
I am laughing SO FUCKING HARD
Thrash or die