me: *goes to my nearest hospital* hello i would like to be put into a medically induced coma 

wait………….

is THAT what “smash mouth” means?

oh. my. god.

This post has no reference or explanation and doesn’t need one at this time, but years from now we need people to remember when Smash Mouth murdered Khaled and solidified pussy eating culture

Wow

who cares, do better, move on

Fun zodiac facts here!

half gun; half car

tank

blocked

*hangs your selfies in my room to scare away burglars* 

Japanese Slangs！

Even if you feel like you know some slang from watching movies or anime, here’s a list of some essential words that will come in handy when you’re in a group of Japanese people, especially kids or youth, although many people of a more finely-aged demographic can often be seen using these words too.

1.壁ドン(Kabe don)：

“Kabe-don” is a situation where a boy corners a girl against the wall and places his hand on the wall in a way that traps her.「壁ドン」とは男子が女子を壁際に押し寄せて、彼女の逃げ場を失くすことです。

2.リア充 (Rea ju)

Mashing together the words “riaru (リアル/real)” and “juu (充/to fulfill),” this term describes someone who has a fulfilling experience in their day-to-day real life.

「リアル（現実の生活）が充実している状態、またはそのような人物」を指すインターネットスラング。

リア充爆発しろ！

Just go blow yourselves up!

3.ワロタ (wa ro ta)

warota- slang for “I laughed.” In proper Japanese it would be waratta wwww - the equivalent of lol. The person is laughing.ワロタとは、「笑った」という意味のインターネット用語です。

うそでしょ？わろたｗｗｗ

Are you kidding me? It’s so funny! lol

4.wktk・ワクテカ・わくてか (wa ku te ka)

Used to indicate excitement and eagerness in anticipation of something to come: “Can’t wait!”, “(I’m) so excited!”, “I look forward to it!”

ワクワクと何かを期待し、心待ちにしている様子に追加して、待ちすぎて汗がでてきてテカテカしている。ワクテカのローマ字入力の頭文字を取り出して「w（ワ）」「k（ク）」「t（テ）」「k（カ）」と省略される。

これから映画見に行く！徹夜で激ねむだけどwktk！

I’m going to see a movie now.

I was too excited to sleep last night!

5.ググる (gu gu ru)

This is Japanese internet slang so it is mainly used in internet forums, means  "Search on Google"

知らない言葉が出てきたら、とりあえずググるようにしてる。

I search on Google everything I found some words that I don’t know.

6.禿同 (ha ge doh)

Strong agreement.

他人の意見に対して、自分も同意見だ、同感だ、賛成だ、という意思表示に用いられ、 「激しく同意(はげしくどうい)」⇒「激同(はげどう)」⇒「禿同(はげどう)」 と言葉が省略され、意図的な誤変換の状態で定着した。

7.orz

A mark to show your disappointment  (o is head r is arm and body and z is legs kneeing ○|￣|＿)

跪き頭を垂れる（頽れる）姿をアルファベットで表した日本発祥のアスキーアートである。 失望、落胆や絶望の表現。「 がっくり」の意。「 o」が頭・「r」が腕と体・「z」が跪いた腰から下の脚を表す。

只今見事に彼女にフラれました orz

I just got dumped by my girlfriend orz.

8.乙 (otsu)

Thank you for your hard work.When you appreciate someone’s hard work.お疲れ様です。「おつかれさまでした」→「おつかれ」→「おつ」→「乙」と変化していったものなのです。使用例「乙でした！」Thank you for your hard work!

「乙でした！」

Thank you for your hard work!

Chynara Madinkulova (long hair) and Aida Akmatova (bun) compete in the “Traditional Archery” category at the World Nomad games in Kyrgyzstan, which concluded last week.

Said games also include eagle hunting, horseback wrestling, and setting people on fire. Also this game where you chuck javelins at people to knock them off their horse.

Clearly the Olympics needs to step it up.

I’m sorry did you say setting people on fire?

Yes. Yes I did.

It’s called Oert Jalymdagan Chabandes. It’s on a stamp.

We live in a weird, wonderful world, Tumblr.

I fucking can’t

Dream

One day when I’m rich or simply more accomplished, I’ll travel around the world: I’ll visit my fellow anthropologists in the swamps and prairies where fate took them, and I will write a book. A diary more like, or a travelogue, where the protaginist (me) delves in and out of alcohol trance and hangover. I should wish nothing better.

Fun zodiac facts here!

*is in hell*

me: it’s hot satan: it’s the heat

Authentic guide to swearing like a true northern Norwegian

Wanna swear like a native northern Norwegian? Look no further. I have made a list of common (and some rare) swear phrases in northern Norwegian for your enjoyment! 

Disclaimer: Swearing in northern Norwegian is considered an artform and a right of passage. Some of these sentences are close to impossible to translate or would sound too stupid if I translated it into English. To understanding these sentences might require you to have understanding of Northern Norwegian culture.

But I’ll try my best to give you the best translation, and the direct translation. Also if you’re religious and offended by religious profanity you might not want to read further.

Satan i hælvette = Satan in hell (used when you’re annoyed, shocked or in sudden pain)

Dæven han steike i hælvette = The devil is burning in hell (used when you’re extremely angry, usually when you’re about to punch someone in the face)

Satans hæstkuk = Satan’s horse cock (is usually used when you want to convey dismay over an object)

Hut dæ te hælvette/Du må alltså hut dæ te hælvete = Go to hell/fuck off [to hell]

Han Tykje = Another word for the devil

Din mongolide faen/Satan = You retard[ed] …

Førrbannade jævelskap = (Meaning something that is crap) Used in the same context as ‘‘Satans hæstkuk’‘

Du kann reis te hælvette = You can/should go/travel to hell 

Æ skal fean steiki fortælle dæ = I am going to fucking tell you something

Det kainn du førrbainne dæ på = You can bet on that (Førbainne means being cursed/possessed by either the devil or a witch.)

Før han tykje ha fått på seg håsslestan = Before Satan has put on his socks (used for the early morning)

Skjettne/Satans søring = Filthy or Dirty (alternatively Satans) southerner.

Satans/Jævla/Faens mainnskjit = (Meaning something that is bad)

listening to john mulaney talk about his wife cleared my skin cured my depression and shook the etch-a-sketch of 22 years of bad het romances ive sat through