“they” (1 word) is shorter than “he or she” (3 words)

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

it’s time to replace the awkward “she or he”

“hey can you go ask they what does they want for dinner, and when is they coming over to watch movies with they?”

“Hey, can you go ask them what they want for dinner, and when they’re coming over to watch movies?”

Step one is learning how to talk like a human person.

Friendly reminder:

“I shouldn’t like to punish anyone, even if they’d done me wrong.” —George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss (1860)

“A person can’t help their birth.” —William Thackeray, Vanity Fair (1848)

“But to expose the former faults of any person, without knowing what their present feelings were, seemed unjustifiable.” —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

“Every Fool can do as they’re bid.” —Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation (1738)

“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” —King James Bible, Matthew 18:35 (transl. 1611)

“God send every one their heart’s desire!” —William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (~1600)

“Now this king did keepe a great house, that euerie body might come and take their meat freely.” —Sir Philip Sidney, the Arcadia (1580)

“If … a psalme scape any person, or a lesson, or els yt they omyt one verse or twayne…” —William Bonde, The Pylgrimage of Perfection (1526)

“And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame, / They wol come up and offre a Goddés name” —Geoffrey Chaucer, The Pardoner’s Tale (~1380)

“þan hastely hiȝed eche wiȝt on hors & on fote, / huntyng wiȝt houndes alle heie wodes, / til þei neyȝþed so neiȝh to nymphe þe soþe [Then hastily hied each person on horse and on foot / hunting with hounds all the high woods / ‘til they came so near, to tell the truth]” —William and the Werwolf (transl. ~1350-1375)

“Bath ware made sun and mon, / Aiþer wit þer ouen light [Both were made sun and moon / Either with their own light]” —Cursor Mundi (~1325)

We’ve been using they/them/their pronouns to indicate a person with unspecified gender for a long ass fucking time. The only reason it’s become a big issue lately is because it can be used as a semi-respectful term for trans and non-binary folks and we can’t have that can we

These fucks are literally trying to change our language to hurt trans/nb folks, and claiming that’s just the way its always been

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Singular “they” predates

Singular “you”

it's so relaxing to draw this youtube pliers guy

happy new 20223 year everybody

@markiplier

All I can hear is Merida from brave 😂

I was absolutely not prepared to hear Croissant pronounced like that.

Mate how are ye supposed tae pronounce it then?! We're Scots we're nae going tae be lit Oh pardonnez moi je suis so French oui verse moi mon croissant!

Fuck sake man

Crossn't

october-december is the best time of the year and you can’t tell me otherwise.

Winter after Christmas is unbearably boring

i love you consistent meals i love you steady blood sugar i love you little snacks i love you non-diet foods i love you full-fat yogurt i love you sugary drinks i love you intuitive eating i love you full stomach i love you breaking free from diet culture i love you body that just wants to keep me alive

things got a little heated in the gc today

International Differences that turn into screaming matches of misdirected fury is one of my favorite genres of humor

Can we talk about how raw of a quote “When I kill God, I’ll make a law in the universe that makes every being put carrots on their sandwiches. … And you? You will eat sandwiches every day.” is

Also OP

i learned that in August 2014 Women’s Voices for the Earth commissioned testing of four types of Always menstrual pads, manufactured by Procter & Gamble. The certified laboratory STAT Analysis Corporation analyzed the products for volatile organic compound.

“The results of the testing indicate that both scented and unscented Always pads emit toxic chemicals, including chemicals identified by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services National Toxicology Program, the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, and the State of California Environmental Protection Agency as carcinogens, and reproductive and developmental toxins. None of these chemicals are disclosed on the product by the manufacturer.” (x)

I switched to dye free fancy cotton pads, after years of having periods so fucking bad I would sometimes faint, and now i just get like. regular cramps occasionally, they’re not even that bad anymore.

i switched back to these after using fancy organic cotton pads during my most recent period & they caused PROBLEMS out of the blue - 100% confirmed, these are not good to use

been using these reusable menstrual pads since november 2019 and im never going back to these commercial pads. commercial pads like these always gives me skin rashes which is so annoying. switch to reusable i swear you’ll not only be period-ready but also rashes-free!

psa they also have a starter pack in case you want to switch and you dont know what to get and an xl size for plus sized women!

EXPLAINS ALOT. WOULDVE BEEN NICE TO KNOW AWHILE AGO. COOOOOOL.

Plus, there’s a study that showed that vagina are highly vascular so, basically, every chemical you put down there is absorbed by your body real fast and really well. In short, ditch tampon too.

TAMPONS are dangerous frequently the direct cause of TSS  TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME

Yeah, reusable pads were one of my first major eco-friendly changes but my body has been way happier that way. They are infinitely more comfortable and effective, and I just throw them in my washing machine on the hand wash + extra rinse and hang dry. I can’t say being on your period is ever pleasant, but it’s way better than before - ESPECIALLY in situations where you can’t change as often - and I don’t feel like the harbinger of the end of the world when I look at my restroom trash can anymore :)

I always buy generic brands but wasnt “always” the ones who were sending fucked up pads to women in africa just a few years ago too???? Fuck always brand.

PSA!!!

they now have a budget-friendly trial pack so you no longer have to worry which pad fits best for you. you can just buy the pack to get one pad of each size!!

Could the fact that i use Always brand be the reason i get such bad cramps?? I must test this theory…

Also, pads can take up to 800 years to decompose. Yikes.

Cariona pads (link above) are AWESOME. Don’t knock it til you try it - I’ll never go back to always pads. My period is, like, manageable, for the first time in my life. It is no longer a struggle with excruciating cramps, heavy bleeding, leakage, and looooong periods, but like, mild to medium cramps, and I HAVE A CYCLE AGAIN for the first time in years. Try it. The upfront cost is daunting, I understand, because I was worried I wouldn’t like them, but I’m SO GLAD I got them. Just toss them in bottom of your shower when you take them off, shower as usual, and then squeeze them out. That basically rinses them for you, and then they’re all set for the washer and dryer. You’ll thank yourself later; give it a try.

Why isn’t anyone talking about how cute the Cariona pads are? They look adorable tbh

Cariona pads are amazing and they are SO cute. Like @maybeitsfinallytime was saying, they’re really easy to rinse out, and I usually hang them over my shower rod to dry so I can reuse them during the cycle, then give them a proper wash in hot water with a little sanitizing detergent afterwards.

Here’s to trying some. I even bought the animal crossing variety! Maybe I’ll never worry about running out of pads again? Who knows? I’ll update when I’ve tried them.

For people who menstruate 🩸….

UPDATE: I just ordered the trial pack. I personally have a lot of problems with excruciating cramps my cycle being consistent, especially in recent months after losing weight and medications and such. Hopefully these work well/help because I always feel guilty about the amount of waste normal pads create

Due to when the reusable pads I ordered arrived I ended up switching literally in the middle of my last period and the difference was instant, I’ve gotten really bad cramps for as long as I can remember and still did the first half this time around but I didn’t cramp at all wearing the reusable pads. I highly recommend the switch.

I bought the cariona pads too and oh my gosh. The difference. I went from painful cramps and headaches to just mild cramps for like a day. They are so easy to use and so comfortable.

Been saying this for years and people thought I was crazy, it definitely affects us women and we should have a say in how these things are manufactured.

hi these are the reusable pads i use and while they do slide around a little bit, i haven’t once gotten throbbing sensitive skin around my vulva or shooting pains down my legs since using them. i used to think that was a part of having my period but now i’m convinced it was from the pads and tampons i was using. not to mention i save tons of money on disposables.

I’m definately going to try and save up for some of the reusable pads. My cramps have been terrible all my life and all I’ve ever used is always pads so that could very well be the reason for my bad cramps :/

Sperm whale mimics a spinning diver.

Humans: *encounters Earth’s Largest Carnivore, who would could swallow them whole, probably*

Human: … Spin?

Earth’s largest carnivore, with a brain that weighs almost as much as this naked beach ape*: SPIN!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPERM WHALES ARE CARNIVORES

I THOUGHT THEY ATE KRILL AND STUFF LIKE OTHER WHALES

Nope! Sperm whales eat extremely large deep-sea squids, like the Giant and Colossal Squids. They have also been known to opportunistically eat dead whales, sharks, and seals, but not actively hunt them. They got real big teeth for it too:

However, they only have teeth on thier bottom jaw!  they have corresponding holes in their top jaw for the teeth to lock into, which makes hanging onto a slippery, boneless squid:

It should be noted that the human here isn’t in particular danger of being eaten on purpose, but an accidental swing of it’s multi-ton head, a clip from the teeth, or being directly in the line of it’s sonar could seriously injure or kill them- Divers that have been in the direct line of echolocation for a sperm whale calf have described being hit with the soundwave like “being kicked by a horse” and some have suffered internal organ damage.  Sperm whales, like other large whales, aren’t particularly aggressive towards humans, but they are still very large wild animals who behave in unpredictable ways.

I know that in US waters, it’s illegal to intentionally come within 300 yards of any whale or dolphin, and if one appears closer you should turn off your engine or stop paddling to avoid accidental injury to you or it.  This human is doing something dangerous and ill-advised, but it’s still hopeful that we can love something like a 130,000 lb deep-diving, squid-eating Oceanic former ungulate.

Im.sorry I’ve lived my entire life not realizing that echolocation could possibly be felt and I have to come to terms with the fact that whales have sonic attacks

GET PAID TO WALK

You heard me right. I wanted to share this all with all you guys since it, I mean, literally, pAys YOU TO WALK. You want free money too? Follow these steps:

- Download the app HERE 

- Make an account

- Allow the app to track your steps

- Check in on your points every day to redeem the coins for gift cards, money, and more

That’s about it. You can message me if you have questions but I’ve been using the app for about a week now and already redeemed a gift card :PPP

WTF I JUST DOWNLOADED I HOPE THIS WORK

IT DOES WORK

I USE IT AND IT IS AMAZING lol this is boutta be all of us after walkin till we sweat to make money

HEHROW?

The USA are a hellscape

this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not

big yikes

me at 14: I cant wait till im in college I have so many plans for life and nothing can stop me :)

Me now: Mm. Me hungey. Me eat macdonal. French frie. Frenchffrie. French frie.

salem was very trully representative of the gays. Like i watched my fair share of lgbt movie but this cat held more of my identity and culture than any gay character on tv

bears have absolutely no right to be as cute as they are. i want to hug them and pet them. big fluffy dogs, supersized

this thing is one of the most dangerous predators in north america, is bulletproof, and could kill me in milliseconds without breaking a sweat and just. look at his big ole paws and his big ole nose. his wittle ears. i wuv him

human brain: bear will kill you

monkey brain: hehe fluffie

I’m pretty sure that it’s the human brain that’s programmed to take anything remotely familiarly-shaped and ask “friend???” so in this case

superior monkey brain: bear will kill you

human brain: but maybe also is soft???

when my pets do the whole ‘sleep chase’ thing i always feel compelled to ask them if they had a good dream 

Remember that one gif of that cat crashing their bike in their sleep????,

THIS

Male positivity? In my branding? It’s more likely than you think

I love this

Y E S. FINALLY

AXE realized their target demographic are the preteen and teen boys who over-apply their product and decided to do something good for these impressionable youths

today we will eat at deodorant

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes