saw an old gay guy in the costco food court wearing a bright pink shirt that said HATERS GONNA HATE. BUT NOT IF I STOP THEM and i have never wanted to be someone else so bad before

scariest chocolate chip encounters

real footage of chocolate chip sightings

chocolate chips found in Argentina

top 10 unexplained chocolate chip events

proof of chocolate chips

ppl trying to make some of these ships all cute n domestic dont seem to understand these characters are insane. they would have sex by standing on opposite sides of the room fully clothed playing mind games

millennial nerd bertie wooster for some reason

forget about touching grass, i need to touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO GO IN THERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️‼️‼️‼️

Lol. Everyone in the notes freaking out like 'I live by the sea, don't jump in, it dangerous'.

Like, guys, guys, listen, you don't understand. They don't mean... They want to be... Listen, ok, I grew up on the sea, I've been through hurricanes on trawlers and gale force 9 storms crewing tallships. I've seen enormous waves absolutely destroy boats. I've been caught in riptides while scuba diving and felt the complete powerlessness of it. The sea will absolutely annihilate you, consume you, never give up your body, and not even notice.

I know the power of the sea better than most, however, I know exactly what they mean. Sometimes you see it churning with unfathomable power and all you want is to just get in the sea and have it absolutely fuckin blast you clean. Like sandblast your fuckin soul. Fuckin powerwash your bones clean. Ya know?

Can confirm, getting beat up by the ocean is a religious experience.

"A certain critic—for such men, I regret to say, do exist—made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained 'all the old Wodehouse characters under different names.' He has probably now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have outgeneralled this man by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy."

(P. G. Wodehouse, via Wodehouse Tweets (@inimitablepgw) at Twitter)

40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back. 

A Timeline of Humanity:

the tragic thing about Elayne is that she had a queer awakening and realized she was into girls and then immediately spent the next several months of her life getting to sleep with a girl, but it was Nynaeve al’Meara, unconscious elbow throwing champion of the world

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1995) dir. Simon Langton | Episode 1

not caring if people think you're stupid is a life hack. recognising that you are kind of stupid is an even bigger life hack. we build entire societies to take care of each other bc we're all kind of stupid. it's fine.

HEY!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some people post that women are their favorite guy but women aren’t even their favorite women

based on suggestions from part 1, also check out part 3!!!

Poster for my college’s upcoming production of Hamlet! :^)

clark reupload

edit: forgot the sweater comic

Can’t believe you forgot the Connecticut dog!!

I’m screencapping that last bit to send to people who send me good memes

I need your opinion on the haircut this children's magazine gave to William the Conqueror

Verdict: GUILTY

The barber has been sentenced to death, thank you for your participation in the trial.

And thank you to your mom @curliestofcrowns for confirming the (unfortunate) historical accuracy of this haircut

The Normans were powerful warriors and colonists despite (or because of????) their very hideous hair styles

Yes, hello, please tell me more about your mother's William the Conqueror fiction.

Is it available anywhere for us to read??? Your mom is about to do numbers on tumblr dot com

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

Going full byzantine with this piece because what's the locked tomb without drama?