How did they make Bowser look so much like Jack Black without actually making him look like Jack Black

nothing is funnier than Catholics getting mad at Anglican priests for having sex lives

Who’s mad about it 😂 Most Anglican-Catholic discourse I ever see is just like

go into the comment section of any Anglican priest’s social media post and you will see the Catholics care a great deal more than you would think

priest kink. next question

Good call, focusing your efforts on the priests you CAN fuck.

skeleton of cave bear in Bears Cave, Romania

wonder why it’s called that

This sent me down a massive historical rabbit hole, but, long story short: it’s called Romania because there were once Romans there.

“Any ideas for the new park sculpture?”

“How about a giant, metallic octopus attacking a rook?”

“Perfect.”

that’s cool as fuck though

Installation by Maurizio Cattelan with text added by an anonymous artist

@sulienapgwien

Never before has an art installation spoken to my very being like this.

This will always be my favorite gifset. Ever.

im morally obligated to reblog this every time i see it

I’m contractually obligated to reblog this.

If you still call tumblr the hellsite you haven’t seen twitter’s recent discourse over whether short women can be loved for anything other than a fetish

a significant percent of bad discourse is just:

eating him

Eating him

I bet he'll get an earful for kidding around

Literally such a funny concept

This is better than all Black mirrors combined.

Happy martin birthday

what. why? someone pls explain to me pls i wasnt born yet in 1999 why turn computer off before midnight? what happen if u dont?

y2k lol everyone was like “the supervirus is gonna take over the world and ruin everything and end the world!!!”

This is the oldest I’ve ever felt. Right now.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU WEREN’T BORN YET IN 1999.

Ahh the Millenium bug.

It wasn’t a virus, it was an issue with how some old computers at the time were programmed to deal with dates. Basically some computers with older operating systems didn’t have anything in place to deal with the year reaching 99 and looping around to 00. It was believed that this inability to sync with the correct date would cause issues, and even crash entire systems the moment the date changed.

People flipped out about it, convinced that the date discrepancy between netwoked systems would bring down computers everywhere and shut down the internet and so all systems relying on computers, including plane navigation etc. would go down causing worldwide chaos. It was genuinely believed that people should all switch off computers to avoid this. One or two smart people spoke up and said “um hey, this actually will only effect a few very outdated computers and they’ll just display the wrong date, so it probably won’t be harmful” but were largely ignored because people selling books about the end of the world were talking louder.

In the end, absolutely nothing happened.

Oh gosh.

I’ve been a programmer working for various government agencies since the early 1990s and I can say with some confidence:

NOTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE WE WORKED VERY HARD FIXING SHIT THAT MOST DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE BROKEN ON 1-JAN-2000.

One example I personally worked on: vaccination databases.

My contract was with the CDC to coordinate immunization registries — you know, kids’ vaccine histories. What they got, when they got it, and (most importantly) which vaccines they were due to get next and when. These were state-wide registries, containing millions of records each.

Most of these systems were designed in the 1970s and 1980s, and stored the child’s DOB year as only two digits. This means that — had we not fixed it — just about every child in all the databases I worked on would have SUDDENLY AGED OUT OF THE PROGRAM 1-JAN-2000.

In other words: these kids would suddenly be “too old” to receive critical vaccines.

Okay, so that’s not a nuke plant exploding or airplanes dropping from the sky. In fact, nothing obvious would have occurred come Jan 1st.

BUT

Without the software advising doctors when to give vaccinations, an entire generation’s immunity to things like measles, mumps, smallpox (etc) would have been compromised. And nobody would even know there was a problem for months — possibly years — after.

You think the fun & games caused by a few anti-vaxers is bad?

Imagine whole populations going unvaccinated by accident… one case of measles and the death toll might be measured in millions.

This is one example I KNOW to be true, because I was there.

I also know that in the years leading up to 2000 there were ad-hoc discussion groups (particularly alt.risk) of amazed programmers and project managers that uncovered year-2000 traps… and fixed them.

Quietly, without fanfare. 

In many cases because admitting there was a problem would have resulted in a lawsuit by angry customers. But mostly because it was our job to fix those design flaws before anyone was inconvenienced or hurt.

So, yeah… all that Y2K hysteria was for nothing, because programmers worked their asses off to make sure it was for nothing.

Bolding mine.

Absolutely true.  My Mom worked like crazy all throughout 1998 and 1999 on dozens of systems to avoid Y2K crashes. Nothing major happened because people worked to made sure it didn’t.

Now if we could just harness that concept for some of the other major issues facing us today.  

this meme came so far since i saw it this morning. god i love tumblr teaching tumblr about history.

As a young Sys Admin during Y2K, I can confirm that it was SRS BZNS.  I worked for a major pharmaceutical company at the time.  They spent millions of dollars on consultant and programmer hours, not to mention their own employees’ time, to fix all their in-house software as well as replace it with new systems.  Sys Admins like myself were continually deploying patches, updating firmware, and deploying new systems in the months leading up to Y2K.  Once that was done, though, the programmers went home and cashed their checks.

When the FATEFUL HOUR came along, it wasn’t just one hour.  For a global company with offices in dozens of countries, it was 24 hours of being alert and on-call.  I imagine that other large organizations had similar setups with entire IT departments working in shifts to monitor everything.  Everyone was on a hair trigger, too, so the slightest problem caused ALL HANDS ON DECK pages to go out.

Yes, we had pagers.

For hard numbers IDC’s 2006 calculation put the total US cost of remediation, before and after, at $147 billion - that’s in 1999 dollars.  That paid for an army of programmers, including calling up retired grandparents from the senior center because COBOL and FORTRAN apps from the ‘60s needed fixing.

Also note that there were some problems, including $13 billion in remediation included in the figure above.  Some of these involved nuclear power plants, medical equipment, and “a customer at a New York State video rental store had a bill for $91,250, the cost of renting the movie ‘The General’s Daughter’ for 100 years.”

Y2K was anything but nothing.

Reblogging because this is a side to the story I had never heard.

Yes, but also there are people who weren’t born yet in 1999 and they’re old enough to be on the internet.

Everything about this is just….wow.

My dad, who was a reporter for Business Day at the New York Times, started covering Y2K in the late 1980s. 

That’s how early people started figuring out there was going to be a problem and working on a massive effort to fix all their systems, a huge undertaking that brought them right up through January 1, 2000.

And that’s why nothing happened. Although no one knew for sure nothing would happen until it didn’t - they just had to wait and hope.

Learning this was an intentional genocide changed me.

I know most of those following me know this, but just to make it super clear. An Gorta Mór (The Great Hunger/the Great Famine) was a deliberate genocide of the Irish people. There was enough food grown in Ireland to make sure everyone was alive and healthy and survived. Instead it was exported, sent to England and elsewhere for profit while men, women, and children starved in the streets. While the English landlords fucked off and evicted starving families who couldn’t afford rent. While babies were too weak to cry and died at the side of the road.

They tried to kill us, but they did not succeed. And we owe so much thanks to the other oppressed peoples, in particular the Choctaw Nation and the Masai, who sent money and grain to us.

Let me repeat that. The Choctaw Nation who had just gone through the Trail of Tears sent us money to try save Irish lives. It’s led to an understanding between Irish people and Native American tribes, most recently when we donated to the Navajo and Hopi fundraisers for COVID-19 relief, because while it may be a different tribe, Irish people will never forget those who helped us and we’ll help back.

The entire population of the island is less than seven million people. We’re still a million less on this island than pre famine. And it’s not that long ago. My grandmother’s grandparents lived through it. We’ve told the stories, it literally changed the DNA of the country. We have a national fear of renting, because so many people were evicted. People joke about Irish people always offering loads of food, but it’s because there’s that cultural memory of not being able to.

They tried to kill us, but they did not succeed. We will not let them take our lives, we will not let them take our language. We lost so much, but we will not lose it all.

This is why I get so angry when people say “it was the potato famine, it was because of monoculture/microbes.”

Nope. The potatoes were the only thing Irish people were allowed to fucking eat, because as pointed out, the rest of the crops they were growing were for their landlords to ship to England. So when the one “worthless” crop they were allowed to eat rotted in the field, the English crown, empire, landlords, all shrugged and carried on. People starved to death lying next to productive fields.

i love when boomers complain about shit like this because as a fast food worker i would literally rather walk out into the lobby and shoot myself in the head than suggest more than one menu item to a customer

Yeah former 8 year Starbucks employ here. This never happens. I’ve have had what amounts to a flip on this happen more often. Something like

“Welcome in what can I get you”

“I want a plain black coffee”

“All rights wha-“

“No sugar or cream or flavor or anything else.”

“Okay, got it, wha-“

“I don’t want no caramachmocha flippy-do’s or frappachina-what-it’s. Just. A plain ol regular black coffee”

“That’s great sir, now please wha”

“Just a old fashioned stright up coff-“

“SIR WHAT SIZE DO YOU WANT YOU STUPID FUCKING COFFEE”

anything i could ever write is not even half as funny as this calvin and hobbes strip

while it’s a great comic, but it’s also in that weird grey-zone of “references where the reference source has been lost”. rather than Calvin just being funny and weird, this one is referencing a very specific (and at the time, common) PSA:

tumblr is trending on twitter EVERYONE HIDE

tumblr rn

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but i’m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

“why do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?” -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

“why do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?” -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. “PLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIES” (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i don’t think it really hammered home until i said “okay everyone gets ONE cookie, that’s fair, right?” and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasn’t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit 🥺

got briefly distracted (…for over half an hour…) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but it’s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tiny……….

this was under a puppet history video

We should test this on the real Chris Pratt to confirm.

so this happened to me today

fucked up some bird tried to steal your car like that

He’s not stealing, he’s robin

(Clasping your shoulder gently)

You’re right. And he looks like a real tit doing it too

2022 is more flowers, more rosé, more perfume, more pink, more dance, more lingerie, more skincare, more healthy food, more books, more gardens and more self love.

Republicans are doing everything they can to make people not want to have kids.

how exactly is birth control at risk? are condoms getting banned? or the pill or something? am i missing something here?

They're already talking about it:

After Roe decision, Idaho lawmakers may consider restricting some contraception

So once again, this has nothing to do with "protecting kids" and everything to do with using using reproduction as a form of control.

Like it's already hard enough to get a reliable birth control (and even the most reliable ones are never 100%), and they want to make them harder or impossible to get.

-

I cannot fathom how "Have kids, or die a virgin," is seriously what they're pushing for here. "If you have sex you should have kids."

That does nothing to protect kids, and is fucking WORSE for the kids. You either wind up with a parent who doesn't want you or you get sent into the hell that is foster care.

I would like to add this, as well:

People who have uteruses and endometriosis WILL DIE.

People who have POTS WILL BE DISABLED TO THE POINT OF BEING UNABLE TO FUNCTION.

People who have any kind of disability that requires them to plan their pregnancies (Ehler-Dahlos, Marfan syndrome, endo, factor V Leiden clotting disorder, there are many others) WILL DIE.

The right to say "I don't want a baby" is absolutely vital. Please don't think I'm saying "oh, that's not as important as this." I'm not.

But you need to understand that for many people who can become pregnant, being pregnant will kill them, in a very literal medical sense.

Birth control literally keeps some people alive.

They are out-and-out talking about killing women, trans men, and nonbinary people. They're okay with that. That's acceptable collateral damage to them.

Metal detector hobbyists are likely finding fewer and fewer coins as society is moving towards cashless payment options