jason's autopsy scars cause some confusion at the red hood annual pool party
if only everyone could know that zuko is a prodigy like his sister, unfortunately his special talent is called "breaking and entering" and he can't tell anyone about that
I was gonna draw something more serious but sometimes u just gotta draw memes
eventually I’ll draw something for these three that isn’t entirely unhinged but today is not that day so have a meme
I still can’t get over the name Goldenloin
Like, he’s your main character’s lover and he’s named Sir Greatinbed? Sir Fucksalot?? Sir Sexhaver??? He’s the main gay love interest and his name’s Sir Longshlong??? 10/10 no notes oscar nomination in the mail
when your father figure hugging suspicious red french thing
based on this
Solider would fucking love Walmart
Soilder tf2 walking around walmart during the 4th of july season like an art critic
On my knees praying that we get a tense little Geralt vs Radovid moment with Jaskier bisexually panicking in the background in the next half 🙏
Batman the Playboy
Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.
The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.
Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“
Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”
Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”
Green Arrow: (offended noises)
Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”
Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”
However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)
So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”
Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”
Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”
———
Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.
GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”
Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”
Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”
Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”
GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”
Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.
Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”
Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”
Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”
Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”
Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”
Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻♂️
“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”
Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!
The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.
And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.
(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)
my parents (usually my mom) will capture me in a blanket and just sorta swaddle me an say 'can we keep em ?' 'ill take care of it' and my dad will respond with things like 'i dunno.. i think it bites' and ill jus wriggle about biting the air threatening to bite them if they dont set me free,
last night my mom said that i was her most favorite critter and this will stick with me for forever i think
people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman
I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together
what is he worried Lois will see
people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do
When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready.
“Oh, I know.”
“You… know?”
“Neither of them would ever lie to me.”
“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?”
“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.”
Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all.
@elidyce no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?
Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.
Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.
Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:
Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.
Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:
Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.
Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.
Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.
Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?
Roy: But Bruce said-
Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-
*cut to Jason fighting Batman*
Roy: So does this count, or…
Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?
Steph: Outsourcing.
Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*
I need it to be documented that for the Steph and Cass bit I am 100% picturing him in the robe and towel with his cowl still on, Lego Batman Movie style. Thank you that is all.
syper? is that the ship name?
or sni
