Doc Professor

you: So, I was wanting to start working at your firm because I’m considering accounting as a career.

the man you agreed to interview with in this cafe: I see. I have to say, it’s a welcome change to have someone your age looking for a career instead of something to support their….I dont know, rock band, haha! 

you: Haha, yes, well, I try to stay focused. [you take a drink from your coffee] 

the man: While we’ve hired people with little to no experience, I have to ask– would you happen to have any previous experience in this field? 

you: Oh! I understand completely. The past three years I’ve actually interned a- 

spiderman: 

He doesn’t even have the cup or the scepter

The Flash #800 - “The Max in the Mirror” (2023)

Blocked parried smooched on cheeck

white danny trejo?

i went to strong apes that kill you island and

go on

she hasn’t responded, im gonna go check on strong apes that kill you island. BRB!

⠀

(x)

“Whut deh fuhk? Is he using duh bät room?”

“Yeh, he’s üsing teh bätroom”

*man in the video opens stall only to find that the monster is, in fact, using the bathroom*

I am fucking. Obsessed with the menu of this Asian fusion place on Uber eats. Hold on.

Their entire relationship

did you know red snapper can live for over 100 years…. whatre they DOING down there

I hope this doesn’t work the same way for centaurs.

Thanks! I hate it

Going fishing:

at my job we have to go through a training program that teaches us the library of congress classification system, and when i was first being trained my boss started to boot it up and she gave me a really anxious and guilty look and said “listen, i’m really sorry in advance, there’s nothing i can do about this, just…. just try to get through it” and i was like lol what’s she talking about and then the program loaded and i was greeted with a deliriously funny-looking photoshopped wizard with glowing eyes pointing at some intro message like “AH YES, JUST AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD… APPRENTICE, YOU COME AT A TIME OF MOST DIRE NEED… YOU MUST LEARN OUR WAYS” and my boss just looked at me helplessly and was like “i’m so sorry. it’s like two hours long.”

thankfully it wasn’t an elaborate fever dream and i have found screenshots

fanart of a series that doesn't exist

Goncharov

That fucking. Bear cop thing

All or nothing

For a moment I was engrossed by an idea and forgot what website I was on

this is so funny

please come back 🥺 don’t you wanna watch cocomelon 🥺

“plant based rice” as opposed to ??

It’s interesting how notch, the creator of minecraft, has openly spouted racist and transphobic things, and have even publicly promoted ideas from qanon. Yet plenty of LGBT people still play his game, especially trans people. Imagine if they treated him the way they treat Harry Potter and JK Rowling. Imagine posts going around saying “if you play minecraft, you’re objectively a bad person” or “if you run a minecraft blog, you’re basically saying you want trans people to die.”

I wonder why they don’t do that. It’s almost like notch has some kind of male privilege or something.

Notch sold Minecraft years ago and sees zero profit from anything related to it, he literally has no rights to Minecraft anymore

Jk Rowling does own Harry Potter and makes absolute bank off people like you, it’s that simple

Nice try though wizard dork

Notch has been completely removed from minecraft. Like microsoft removed his name from the game.

So thoroughly removed was Notch that even the official 10th Anniversary Map which contains a museum of the history of Minecraft makes no mention of him. The map is ringed by every start up message the game has ever had, except for the one’s that mentioned Notch. And Mojang was specific that his comments were why he was excluded when asked.

he’s a silly boy