Me pretending I wasn’t bawling my eyes out

pussy is a real thing?

no bro who lied to you

🕯🍂🌙🥀🖤🥀🌙🍂🕯

May the autumn months bring you closure, understanding, and a feeling of contentment.

september is coming up so here’s your yearly reminder to leave billie joe armstrong the fuck alone

AND DON’T

FUCKING

TELL PEOPLE

THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING

BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT

JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING

The life of a cat is dangerous and difficult

The life of a cat is dangerous and difficult

There’s a drug dealer out there that’s pretty proud of Robert Downey Jr.

When you’re in the middle of sobbing and you start dissociating so you’re like “okay I’m done now” and turn into an emotionless zombie

Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.

Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.

*male celebrities worrying about getting their career ruined*

all of us:

lawful good: sleeping with fan off and blanket off when its hot chaotic evil: sleeping with fan on and blanket on when its hot

its nine in the afternoon and ur eyes are the size of

very big

I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”

QUEEN OF BLANKETS