i love this horrible podcast
if we all work together we can make that italian bitch cry
Found at the Rag Machine in Vancouver, Canada.
Everyone in the notes forgetting about the concept of pregnancy you’re so valid never change
Yeah I did not think pregnancy….
honestly the only reason im not an old man is that i happen to have been born somewhat recently. other than that
If you don't know what myth this is referencing idk why you're voting on this but have fun googling the apple of discord. The rest of us are busy starting a deadly butterfly effect.
It’s an apple, actually.
for every reblog on this post i will eat one plastic bag so the turtles dont have to
Hospital.
for every reblog on this post i will eat one plastic bag so wizardpotions doesn't have to
urbanfantasyinspiration
It’s like that mafia crew that made a pizza joint as a front but their pizza was so good they just went legit
Short comic by John Cullen! Jorge Jiménez is winning in the “art vs. artist” challenge.
I saw that post and it shattered my reality
For context, the last one isn't edited at all. Nothing could improve that.
*sample from 1930s horror movie* but doctor. if you kill evil murder death. YOU DIE *bass boosted spirit halloween drum soundboard* *rob zombie voice* GHOULS AND GOBLINS IN MY HOUSE WISH THE DEVIL WAS MY SPOUSE I WENT TO A RAVE IT WAS DOWN IN THE GRAVE BUT I GOT KICKED OUT CAUSE I MISBEHAVE THERES A FUCKING DEAD BODY IN DA KITCHEN AND HE SAID HE WOULD CUT OFF MY HEAD IF I DIDNT SHOW HIM GOOGLE IMAGES OF
*guitar riff rips your dick off*
writing smut like
how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?
3tno
and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use
tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick
tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft
tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus
tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood
tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie
tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun
Every time I read a post like this I’m always really surprised that I have strong opinions on synonyms for penis even though I really should not be by now, to wit:
1. I really do not like “dick” in sex scenes for some reason, unless they’re meant to be unsexy.
2. For some reason “prick,” although unappealing in a modern setting, is much more palatable in historicals. (Likewise, it’s really useful to know that from Middle English until like 1800 the standard word for “penis” was “yard,” which wouldn’t work that well in a modern setting but is okay for historicals and not too silly. “Penis” itself isn’t attested in English before the 17th century.)
3. Is it just a consequence of too much literary theory that “phallus” to refer to an actual literal penis that’s attached to a person, rather than a metaphorical or representational penis, seems jarring? I blame Lacan.
Honestly the more I write the more I use the words “him” or “himself” like: he could feel himself thickening or she sank down onto him, etc. Just bypass penis entirely. :)