โThere is nothing which remains difficult if it is practised. So, through practice with minor discomforts, even major discomfort becomes bearable.โ
โ ลฤntideva, Bodhicaryฤvatฤra, Crosby & Skilton tr. (6:14)
Favorite interviews for self improvement?
It would be too long to list all but here are some that I enjoyed in 2023..
The Secret Formula that Launches Billion Dollar Companies feat Emma Grede (would never support skims but I really like her)
Oprah: Tracee Ellis Ross (LOVE this interview, she drops so many gems about embracing your solitude)
You know what I love? Discipline. Do you know what I admire? People who handle their lives properly. Because I know that takes a lot. Did you get that high paying job and didn't buy an expensive car with your first paycheck? That shit is hard. Do you want to have s** but abstain yourself and don't just sleep with anyone? That shit is hard. Did you stay in shape during the holidays? That shit is hard. I love people being disciplined, handling their finances wisely, controlling themselves and discerning what is actually good for them. You can get offended or you can get better. Your choice. ๐ค
what influencers and cosmetic companies won't tell you, is that the best anti-aging and beauty regimen is a healthy, low-stress lifestyle. Regular exercise, hydration, whole foods, low sugar, a spiritual practice, minimal alcohol, no smoking, healthy relationships, gratitude, etc.
you could have expensive eye cream, costly cosmetic procedures, or high-end makeup products, but none of that matters if you're not healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you stay in a toxic relationship for years, it will age you. If eat junk, drink, and smoke, it will age you. if you live a sedentary lifestyle, it will age you!!
skincare products are fun to use, and they can definitely take your skin to the next level (especially if you have conditions like acne or hyperpigmentation), but I always notice that my skin is the best when I've been drinking lots of water, limiting my sugar, getting sunlight, and staying stress-free. looking forever 21 y/o shouldn't necessarily be the goal, but aging gracefully is a byproduct of taking care of yourself.
TL;DR- stop spending copious amount of $$$ on beauty treatments, procedures, and makeup and just take care of the body and mind that you have. it will be far more effective (and cheaper) in the long run.
Adding to this. they also donโt tell you that in Korean beauty, the products are a fraction of it. Korean mamas and grandmothers love supplements, vitamins, health, etc.
Iโm going to be buying a small container of ginseng paste for fifty dollars. Because itโll help my mind and body.
Kimchi is fermented which helps give your body good bacteria in the gut.
Itโs similar with other cultures as well.
In some areas, Chinese women drink a tea with goji berries and other antioxidants to keep their health and youth.
The reason everyone screams โdrink bone brothโ is because it contains collagen. You could alternatively make soup once a week using the broth and itโll still aid in your health.
The things you put in your body like, actually matter. The products are literally only a FRACTION of whatโs needed
โYou donโt know anyone at the party, so you donโt want to go. You donโt like cottage cheese, so you havenโt eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but donโt kid yourself: itโs also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but itโs really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy. You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who canโt write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but thatโs really not you. Itโs not ingrained. Itโs not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like. If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, itโs the only way.โ
โ Julien Smith,ย The Flinchย (via wnq-anonymous)
2023 wrap up
do you have any tips on how to figure that out? I really can't tell whether i wanna work when i get married or not, frankly i see the appeal in both being a housewife but also a career woman, but obviously i can't have it all and i'm not sure what to pursue :/
what kind of life do you want for yourself? what will truly make you happy? what will it take for you to wake up every day and feel like saying I love my life and I'm so happy to be me, I'm so happy I made the choices I did. on the good days, the bad days, the stressful days, and the hard days, which will make you feel like you still made the right choice? life is hard no matter which path you take. pick the hard that makes you still enjoy your life. what about being a housewife is appealing to you and what about being a working woman is appealing to you? are you looking at these options from a scarcity mindset and a place of fear? think it through. if all else fails, find a guy with enough money for you to be a housewife if you choose to be, but is also okay with a working wife if you change your mind ๐
everyone is different but for me it was a no-brainer. I love being in the comfort of my own home, I love making my own schedule and being able to dictate my day. I love being able to do what I want, when I want and be the boss of my housework, not anyone else. I love having the freedom and flexibility to go anywhere on a moments notice, sleep in, stay up, 'work' in my pajamas or a dress or nothing at all if I wanna get down like that! I get plenty of time to exercise, get cute, cook, clean, relax, shop, and just be me. no one to tell me when I can and can't eat or use the restroom, no one to tell me when my break is over, no one to tell me that I can't listen to music all day if I want to. no one can fire me, I don't have somebodies deadlines looming over me, I make my day what I want it to be. when my husband comes home he'll be coming home to someone who isn't also stressed from work and that makes his day better. when I have kids, I can give them all the attention and care they need from me and I look forward to having all the time in the world to spend with them every day.
for me this is a dream but for some that sounds like a boring monotonous nightmare where they are trapped at home while everyone else gets to be free outside. not everyone likes being at home. not everyone likes domestic work. not everyone feels comfortable with their husband being the provider bc it may scare them due to the possibility of things going awry (note: vet your men. and when you're done, vet them again. harder.) everyone is different and there is no right answer en masse. ignore what the world expects of you. what do YOU want for your life?
Elle Woods study motivation bc we all need it
im thinking about them (honey bear bottles)
How do you know what you should do
You pay very close attention your body because it doesnโt know how to lie to you, and pay very little attention to your mind because it is lying to you all the time
essential part of glowing up?
One of my favourite TV performances of all time is Vanessa Kirbyโs portrayal of Princess Margaret. In my eyes, she was perfect and her performance was next level, her voice was husky when it needed to be, her eyes were smoky and smouldered, and she was passionate. She was confident, she was effortlessly cool, she was heartbroken when she needed to be, she knew how to fight, and she was why I kept watching The Crown. Vanessa Kirbyโs portrayal of Princess Margaret was tragic and rebellious and I absolutely loved it but it was only good because Vanessa worked her ass off to learn more about Margaret, she read and researched, she talked to people who knew PM and learned her lines, and she created a character who was legitimately similar to young Margaret. You must be totally willing to work hard and do plenty of research if you want to succeed and win and you have to be ready to work your ass off without complaint if you want to get ahead and actually have a chance at the life you want. You have to work very hard to become good and you have to work even harder if you want to be a great.
they hated her for her effortless swag and determination to live life in all its vibrant colors despite despite despite
Allow yourself to shine without the desire to be seen.
I want to be poised and composed, cultivating a well-curated life, rich in moments of deliberate joys and surpising delights, of hardships overcome and weaknesses conquered.
itโs not chic to be inconsistent
What I observed from her. The important stuff.ย
- Always come early to meetings and social events. One is able to meet the creators, and the host.ย
-Start a collection of work dresses.ย
-She has one friend she tells the complete truth to. The rest know what she wants them to know. She will lie or not tell the person till months later. She censors herself.ย
-She has one signature hairstyle and sticks to it. Since, she is the only black woman on the top floor, she wanted to be taken seriously and recognized instantly. She realized the women who were drastically changing their hairstyles were always the subordinates but the executives had a signature style. Example: Anna Wintour, Gloria Allred and etc.ย
-She lives below her means. I know people who make $40k and lower who spend like they have her salary. She spends a lot of money on three things, jewelry, briefcases, and vacations.ย
-To retain connections, she does favors or has to do favors. Knowing someone isnโt enough, if you do not benefit them, they wonโt do much for you.ย
