chaotic midwestern.

My favorite thing to do is to pause psych when Gus gets scared

me when one of my girlmutuals posts about how they got a little coffee beverage or took a nice walk or started a book they've been meaning to read for a while or otherwise found meaning and joy in simple pleasures

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk

you tell me

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

I’m fucking done with this site

This is the evermelon.

If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.

OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).

Nothing will ever be better than the last one

HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ

That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-

Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.

It's really messed up that studios are allowed to reverse goncharov us

sees a popular post. well my mutual said this first

Hey weather app quick question what does “106% humidity” MEAN

Well that’s something crested geckos and I have in common then

hey now that it’s disability pride month can you please remember to include people with Down syndrome and other chromosomal defects into your activism. they’re so often left behind. I literally never see anyone spreading Down syndrome awareness that isn’t close family of someone with Down syndrome. They exist and they’re living breathing humans who deserve just as much activism as every other disabled person

hey girl are you a worm because

goddammit. i hit post too early

hey girl are you a worm because i am hooked on you

actually i guess it would be. hey girl are you a hook because i am wormed on you

no it wouldn't that's nothing

hey girl are you a fishing rod because i am hooked on you

hey girl are you a fishing rod because i'd like to reel you in

hey girl. fish

No you cannot fix your entire life at 2am. Go to bed.

You can fix some of it though! By going to bed.

Ever since I read a post saying "don't trust yourself after 9pm" whenever I find myself spiralling at 2am I check the time, see it's after 9pm, and remember not to trust myself and just go to sleep. Works wonders. The problems are never as bad in the morning.

new horror character archetype: guy whose first response to every situation is to suggest hitting it with a car regardless of how likely that is to be effective at dealing with the threat they're up against

ok so here's the thing

Excellent.

There are people having fits underneath this post on IG because he said “non birthing parent.” Like whole ass meltdowns

This guy is being a good partner and a good parent and trying to help other folks be good partners and parents... And folks are losing their shit because the man uses inclusive language? In the year of Our Lady, 2022? Madness.

i’ll say it til the cows come home but as undeniably strange as the star wars prequels are, george lucas’ direction with anakin was downright fucking inspired. people were waiting for whatever badass backstory lucas was sure to give them, awaiting a naturally intimidating actor with rogueish charm to be cast, waiting for this masterpiece of badass villainy or whatever, and george lucas is like no, no, i’ve got you. and then he finds the one man on the planet who looked babier than baby mark hamill and says, “his main personality trait will be being weird and awkward, secondary personality trait loving his wife, tertiary personality trait being incredibly good at murder, and all of these traits will do battle on the silver screen for three movies until they all win in possibly the worst way.” that fucking rules. george lucas could’ve done anything with darth vader and he willingly, enthusiastically chose mentally unstable college student who is somehow married but his only friend is his kind-of dad. that fucking rules, top down, that’s fucking exquisite. if you don’t think that premise is inherently entertaining you’ve got no taste

george lucas really said there’s no such thing as cool fascists there’s only scared, pathetic, angry little men and honestly that was INSPIRED.

These Horrors are brought to you by:

and

she took the ladders in the divorce

can someone help me get down

this is what my sims sound like