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Surprise! I'm Probably Sad

@cutepieceoftrash

Shannon-23y-they/them-I am a hopeless little queer who likes a bunch of things-
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'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so

also the exploding appendix

there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.

Most mammals can’t get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.

Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.

And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.

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my friends felt like this was a helpful breakdown, so i'm just sharing in case it helps others spot ai generated products, too.

examples from the book im talking about returning below: (rly sad, too! love the whimsical jar theme, hate that an Actual Artist wasn't involved)

Is this true, am i punk

I feel like I don't wear enough leather jackets to be punk

Well I do hate fascism and I am transgender and I left the tech industry because I couldn't bear being a part of that capitalist cesspool of human rights violations but also I really really care about my mom

really caring about your mom is extremely punk as well, don't worry.

Oh okay

I LOVE how Faramir just straight up called Sam and Frodo ugly. King behavior

Sam: Elves are the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen oh my god they are unbelievably perfect nothing on earth can compare

One of the Big Folk: Well you’re not beautiful enough to be an elf

Sam: Don’t care didn’t ask I hope you choke

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funnytwittertweets
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violettdancing

Oh to be proposed to with a ring like this✨️

why just girls this is amazing

My fiancé and I got matching engagement rings because of this post!!

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This comes across my dash a couple times a year and I am always delighted

oh to have a person worthy enough for me to give him this ring

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Okay, but does it come in silver? I want this so bad😭

UPDATE: IT DOES COME IN SILVER OMG IT’S SO NICE😍

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I’m very sad because the outer ring of mine broke & now the whole thing is falling apart. I wore it almost daily for a year, more or less. I gave to get another since I don’t know is a how to fix it.

Happy Attenborough day!! Sir David is 97 (!!!) years old today!

It's hard to choose which moment from his long career to depict, there is such an abundance of incredible and moving ones. This year, I drew him chilling with some manatees

“Bisexual women and their boring boyfriends” I know this is hard for y’all to hear, but I actually don’t give a fuck if you think my boyfriend is boring; “they want us to roll out the red carpet for their ugly boyfriends” I actually don’t give a fuck what you think about my relationships and who I date; I don’t know how to explain to y’all that NOTHING WE DO IS FOR YOU!!! Our relationships aren’t not for you, we dont do ANYTHING for you! We’re not gnc for you (for those of you saying it’ll make you like us more), our relationships aren’t for you (you can have your hurt feelings about our ugly/boring boyfriends or us being poly, I do not fucking care), and we are certainly not bi for you or your attention. Nothing bi people do is for or about you, and you can cry to your Twitter followers about whatever it is we’re doing that you don’t like, because I do not care.

reblog to give every bisexual woman a boring boyfriend who is infinitely more pleasant to be around than the people who diss bisexual women for having boring boyfriends

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My annotated Dracula has informed me that when Harker said his robber steak was “in the style of the London cat’s-meat!” he was referring to “A tradition in London was the “cat’s-meat man,” a vendor who sold little bits of meat on skewers for consumption by cats”

I am overjoyed by this knowledge that there were Victorians just randomly getting lil kebabs for their CATS

I am so happy to learn this was a thing, looks like they were door to door pet food sellers.

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I didn’t see any new posts about it but it is VITAL that new readers know this.

Yet another way the patriarchy is trying to control women.

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apocalyptic-feminist

[Image description: A white photo with blue bolded text.]

[Text reads: True Gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of fifty percent women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women. And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.” My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because, “Everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality- my husband keeps his name and I keep mine - is held as a statement of superiority on my part.] [End image description]

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merm-ish

I don’t understand why more people aren’t horrified by the sentiment of being forced to change your name

Misogyny is so normalised and that even people affected by it think it is the way things should be.

The 'women can always sense a man nearby' r*dfem narrative has always been incredibly funny to me. If anything, I'd say that the opposite is true.

Before I transitioned I had three different lesbians tell me that I was really fucking up their whole lesbian thing by being the only man they'd ever been attracted to.

On top of that, the number of times I heard, 'you're nothing like other men' directly coincides with every woman I've ever dated.

From this data I can conclude that dykes can sense other dykes even if absolutely no one knows what's happening.

I should also note that pretransition I dated exclusively bisexual women. I literally could not stand dating straight women, and they had absolutely 0 interest in me.

I forgot where I was going with this, but bisexual women, I love you so much.

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90% of the "men" I've ever dated or been attracted to ended up not being men.