You're a dumbass who the fuck says something like that

a few months ago my friend called me and told me she was moving back up near me from 7 hours south in the middle of nowhere and asked if i would help her because she couldn’t move the furniture by herself and the town was so small there was no moving company (there were actually only 5 or six businesses in the whole town including both restaurants) and she had no one else down there to ask. 

And even though money is pretty tight for her, she told me I could name my price if I would help her, because it was so far away.

I told her she was a dummy for thinking i would take her money but that i would accept the traditional helping-a-friend-move price: a meal (i know she would feel wrong about herself if she didn’t do something for me in return, that’s just how she is) Tradition suggests pizza and beer, we opted for enchiladas and a margarita.

we crashed on the floor of the empty place and left back north in the morning - when we got back to the city three more friends met us at her storage place (the place she was moving into wouldn’t be vacant for a couple months) and we started to move all her stuff up to a storage room on the THIRD FLOOR (because large city storage places be like that)

we had just taken the first box out of the truck when the (only) lady working there walked by and told us they closed in an hour and twenty minutes, and she couldn’t stay even a little late because she had to get to her other job.

One hour twenty minutes. To completely un-jenga a large uhaul and re-tetris it back into a similar sized room on the third floor.

We all just, shared a look, took off hoodies, and got the fuck down to business. 

It was actually.. I still cherish look we passed around. The tiny eyebrow quirks and chin nods. The eye glints. The bigger breath we each took as we prepared to kick it up several gears. That moment of wordless connection, when we all just silently agreed that we were damn well going to do the impossible and didn’t even waste the time it would take to say anything, just got to it.

And we did it too. Finished with exactly two full minutes to spare. And then we all went for dinner and drinks to celebrate. And my friend’s friends that came to help? Two of them were acquaintances/friends of mine already. Like I lived with one for a year a decade ago sort of thing. But this experience? Brought us all closer. Made myself a new friend too.

And the friend i helped move? She and I are closer than ever because of it.

When i left our storage success diner to go home, she asked me again if I was sure i wouldn’t take any money.

I said “I ever tell you when I was 22 I went down to Hollywood to try that scene out? Anyway ten months later, when I just couldn’t do it anymore, and needed to come back, I called one of my best friends and said i can’t do this anymore i need to come back. You know what he said? He said: I’ll be there tomorrow. Not how much will you pay me, not what do i get out of it, not will you be able to cover my gas, just: I’ll be there tomorrow. Okay? You’re my friend. If you need help, I’m going to be there”

If helping someone move ruins your friendship, you’re doing at least one of those two things very wrong.

What's so great about him? He makes a great dog impression.

never forget your roots

My apologies to people who want to lose weight but cant, it seems we have the same problem but opposite direction lol.

Had to unfollow this one person on here cause they just would not stop making posts about how transfems on e getting periods is just made up symptoms and like, I don't have definitive proof I only have my and others experience but like how do you, as someone who is not on e, who has access to the same amount of studies looking into this with decent sample sizes as I do (none), feel so confident to say it's all just placebo and made up ? What makes you so confident ? Cause I gotta say after almost two years of nearly right on the dot once a month suddenly feeling nausea all week, taking the most unbelievable shits, feeling all my organs cramp, and having mood swings out the ass which always just so happens to line up with when the two people with uteruses in my house also get their periods, I feel like I have more data to work off of than you do

LOSING IT

@chrisdornerfanclub

PORTLAND, Ore. (KPTV) - Over a dozen patrol cars were damaged or destroyed in a suspect arson attack at the Portland Police Bureau’s training facility early Thursday morning.

Just before 2 a.m., Portland Fire & Rescue and Portland police officers responded to a fire at the training facility in the 14900 block of Northeast Airport Way. When crews arrived to the scene, police say they found at least 15 vehicles in a fenced training area were burning.

Firefighters were able to quickly extinguish the flames. No injuries were reported.

Happy belated May Day!

"south dakota" is the only state with 2 words making up its name

"job hunting" is such a misleading term. i think if you were actually allowed to release prospective employers into a dark forest and chase after them with spears and hounds and horns and crossbows and guns and shoot them and kill them and hurt them, looking for employment would be a good deal more tolerable

A general reminder—periodic cicadas pose no threat to anyone and their plant damage is limited to nipping off the ends of twigs. Please do not hose them with pesticide. They are slow and clumsy and confused and only want to make friends with other cicadas and eventually die of sexual exhaustion.

Yes, the screaming is a lot, but they’ve been extremely quiet neighbors for thirteen years, cut them some slack as they go through the most fraught time of their lives.

let this little man fuck!

Concept: a temping/job placement agency specifically founded to help people who are having trouble finding employment due to supernatural interference in their lives.

me: i wanna fuck a girl

sapphic positivity blogs: …..haha……don’t u mean u want to…..braid her hair…..while u guys do green tea eucalyptus volcanic ash mud masks and watch a disney movie…….while wearing very thick flannel pajamas…..that’s what u meant right

this post got me jumped on 2016 tumblr

The majority of people are horny. People are always going to be horny. You cannot stop people from being horny. Throughout history there have been extensive attempts to suppress horniness and they haven’t worked. You can be mad about it all you want but horniness will prevail against any adversity. There will always be an aspect of horniness within society. Sexuality cannot be contained by having missionary sex with your spouse alone in the privacy of a dark bedroom.

Quick stop to admire Agathla Peak on a road trip from Colorado to Arizona.

Monument Valley

1977