Holy fuck

AMAZING

why is it always The Machine VERSUS The Flesh. why can't they be yuri. or yaoi. or whatever.

...actually now that i think about it. did you have religion class in school? also was it mandatory??

extra points reblog and tell me where youre from in the tags because for us religion* is a non-mandatory class where in high school you don't get grades but extra points that might help you in other classes**

*and with that i mean Christianity Class because wow i love being in the same region where the pope is /s ** which is the only reason i kept attending

im sorry you got stuck behind the funniest person on the planet

local senator discovers her children are literally descended from the force

(ko-fi requests are open!)

my favourite thing about organa twins AUs is bail's stolen both of vader's kids and vader has no idea <3

(ko-fi requests are open!)

the thing about doing archeological excavations on livejournal is that you will find the most fucked up, horrific, legitimately sadistic, gorey torture fanfiction for your favourite characters, and it is not only in character but also well written, and then you look at the comments and they're all like 'ohmigod SQUEE!! *dies crying*" and you know what? they don't make fandom like that anymore

palps, trying to manipulate anakin into thinking obi-wan is having an affair with padmé: master kenobi was seen at a certain senator’s house at an unseemly hour. a senator he is very close to…

anakin: oh my god

palps: yessss

anakin: he’s fucking bail organa

palps: wait what

deserved

It was bad enough that the boy is literally just stabbing the book with a dagger and dissociating.

I picked this comic up by coincidence a few months ago and I am delighted to inform anyone curious that she wrote him in a torrid love affair with his bodyguard and completely undermined his terrifying reputation and made him a folk hero instead. He was Not Thrilled.

wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!

I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.

I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand. 

In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.

Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.

In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.

That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is you’re on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? That’s not someone I was comfortable stealing from.

I tapped him on the shoulder and told him “hey i think you dropped this” and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.

Picking a rich person’s pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably can’t get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless you’re already rich yourself.

The people who’s pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.

As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become “stealing from other poor people” and it’s not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.

Wow. This post went from funny to a life lesson in a way I wasn’t expecting, amd I’m not sorey at all.

See, unlike the capitalist elite, common criminals have a sense of morality and empathy.

Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

So I looked up why and how this happened, and it turns out Weird Al hired a company called Birdhouse Skateboards to provide some “skate/punk” extras for the video. Birdhouse Skateboards is a company started by Tony Hawk, so not only did Weird Al end up putting Tony Hawk in his video without realizing it, he actually hired Tony Hawk’s company without realizing it! And then Tony Hawk just decided to go along as one of the extras himself.

BTW, he’d already won like 40 contests already, some of them international skateboarding contests. So it’s not like Weird Al cast some unknown skateboarder who ended up becoming World Famous Skateboarder, he was already well known and was running his own Skateboarding company.

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

The chance that Tony Hawk has infiltrated your location or piece of media is low

BUT NEVER ZERO.

shrimps is bugs

next tattoo: "Patch notes: shrimps is no longer bugs"